Sometimes I honestly think that I was dropped as a child. I have no idea where some of the things that come out of my mouth come from. No idea at all. In a story on email etiquette in today’s Seattle Post-Intelligencer: "Mom and dad taught us how to behave. They taught us not to go up to a random person and lick them. But no one taught us e-mail etiquette," said Peter Shankman, chief executive of New York marketing firm The Geek Factory Inc. "Go up to a random person and lick them?" OK then. Happy Monday.

Winner gets client swag. Come up wih a better caption than the one I have. "Hi. Yeah, um… Guess I should be blunt here, um… ok… See, I’m hungry. Feed me. Or I’ll puke on your shoes. Again."

Kevin Spacey never led acting workshops when I went to LaGuardia High School. That’s SO NOT FAIR. Stupid kids. Don’t know how good they got it. Back in my day…

Since I can’t run, I decided to run for office. I ran for a board member at large seat for my running club, the New York Harriers. And would you believe, I got it? They like me! They really, really like me! Congratulations to all of the new board members! Let’s accomplish some great things!

Dear US Netcom: You’re never allowed to do PR again. For Google, I offer this: Dear US Netcom: You suck. Hey Kim Cooke, Mark Hefley, Jeff Warhol and JJ Kelly: No reporter I know will ever write about you. Ever. Except to talk about what opportunistic weasels you are. Consider getting new jobs. Consider changing your name. Some guy who tried to sue his jDate is now living in another city under an assumed name because of this blog. You think I can’t point out to the entire WORLD how disgusting you are? (For Google) Kim Cooke, Mark Hefley, Jeff Warhol and JJ Kelly+opportunistic+jackals I’ve said this many times. NEVER USE NATURAL DISASTERS, CRISISES, OR THE DEATHS OF INNOCENTS TO [...]