Yet again, the Onion proves why it’s the best humor out there, period. Cuation: NSFW for language. Live From Congress: The Occular Penetration Bill Of 2007

For you could be fined…

Ask my parents – my father, specifically… I was not an easy child to wake. My dad would resort to a host of tricks when his basic "get up or you’re gonna be late" didn’t work. Tickling, turning up the AM radio loud, even one time, dumping an entire pot of cold water on me (my bed was damp for a week.) I simply didn’t like mornings. In fact, up until probably 2002 or so, I was the ultimate night person. I’d get to bed around two am at the earliest, I preferred lights to sunlight, and slept in. I don’t know when the switch actually took place, but I’m now the ultimate morning person. Drives most people I know [...]

I guest blogged The Avery Lane Experience today. Thanks to Paige for the opportunity!

This defies logic, and I’ll say it as bluntly as possible. If Michael Vick were white, I’d want him to hang for what he did to those dogs, too. If he were hispanic, or Asian, or purple, or polka-dotted, I’d want him to hang. Hey NAACP? On this specific issue? Shut the hell up, and purchase a clue. Atlanta NAACP: Vick should be allowed to return.