Didn’t back in the day they call this “flaming?” ;-)

Peter -

I feel like you’ve been sitting in on my new business calls and meetings this past month. The economy is shaking loose but people still want to exploit us. Thanks for shining a bright light on this subject so I have even more evidence to back up my NO THANKS.

I see both sides here. I work in pr and get frustrated when people ask for free advice (and what I mean by that is huge requests like “do you think you could completely rewrite this press release and create a media list for my start up co for free?”) type questions. There is a gray line between the karmic helping of colleagues and friends and being taken advantage of. Some times those lines are intentionally crossed, other times unintentionally. I have to note here that Peter helped me years ago and I was not even a friend of his back then…he is a wiz at putting together ikea furniture on top of being a social media expert. Yet I digress….what i wanted to say is that the way to avoid a fight is just to be clear and answer a few top line questions but if it goes deeper then just outline what your price structure would be for that kind of work. I also think peter’s mention of 400 bucks was arbitrary BUT even it it was not, that is really not unreasonable for his background, his experience and expertise. Bottom line here is that everyone needs to respect eachothers professionals and realise if your questions go beyond top level then you need to know you might have to pay for it.

The problem with social media (this coming from a PR vet, digital marketer and early social media adopter) is that it is has become too much about ME. Everyone is talking about ME. I see this entire episode, the comments, responses to comments, etc., as a huge waste of time. Who gives a flying grace anyway? There are so many more important things going on today than this one issue revolving around one person. You want to be informed? Check mainstream news sites. There are thousands of people who are in crisis and need of help. Important policy decisions are being made. Meetings of world leaders are being held. When people finally tire of social media, and related noise/hype, perhaps they will once again turn their time and energy toward things that actaully matter.

Honestly – what is it with some of you people? How arrogant it is of someone to call someone else arrogant when you’ve never met! This to me is one of the failings of social networking – some are so comfortable “flaming” others cloaked in the veil of the Internet using words and descriptions they’d never offer in person. While like some of the other posters I’m not entirely partial – I’ve considered myself a friend of Peter’s for years – despite my living on another continent, Peter has always offered a very large helping hand whenever I needed it. Kami and Co., I think it fair that you leave well enough alone and trust the many that do know Peter well and how large his heart in helping others truly is – lest you receive a barrage of requests to pick your brain, all without charge of course.

Peter,

I don’t know you. I’ve never heard of you… doesn’t matter to me. Your tweet wasn’t arrogant at all. I get paid $000 per hour and sometimes get frustrated when my friends want to pick my brain. Of course I do it because I like the sound of my own voice and I fancy the opportunity to wax poetic on the field(s) of business that I know about. Namely money and people, or rather people and problems!

However, I think if I was at $400 an hour to major players, I would be helpful and nice and cordial to everybody, but I agree you have got to draw the line somewhere… Maybe you should draw up a rate sheet like they do at parking garages! Just saying… people won’t park in your garage longer than 2 hours if the rate doubles after that.

Cheers!

As someone who receives this request at least once daily, has a full time job (which I love) that does not involve consulting work, and not nearly enough hours in the day, THANK YOU. “I want to pick your brain (over coffee, lunch or cocktails, my treat,” but-it-has-to-be-this-week or I am going to call you and leave you ten minute messages and email and Facebook you to death until I break you) has become my least favorite phrase in “the history of forever” — unless of course I have some personal involvement in the organization, it’s one of our community partners, or it’s a close friend or family member. It has nothing to do with ego, but it becomes overwhelming just to come up with tactful responses to all of the requests to “pick your brain” or speak at conferences and manage your actual job responsibilities. At least it’s what you do for a living, so you can get away with telling people they can pick your brain — for a fee. :)

Both sides are right, period. Peter (and just about every other commenter here) has to protect their time, because that’s their only product. That’s the same way lawyers, plumbers, doctors, accountants, golf pros, and every other service professionals work.

At the same time, I fear we’re getting to the point where some folks in this biz doth protest too much. Indeed, I’m subject to the same dynamics of people wanting free advice. But you know what? It’s a goddamn honor to be asked. There are literally tens of thousands of people that supposedly understand this stuff, and if someone chooses to ask ME for help, I thank my lucky stars.

Do I inevitably provide that free help? Nope. I wish I could, but I can’t. But, instead of using my rate as a financial velvet rope, I try to ascertain what their true needs and budget are, and recommend/refer them to an appropriately priced resource.

Brogan charges more than me. I charge more than most people. That’s just market forces at play. But instead of complaining that people want help, we should realize that everyone’s a teacher, everyone’s a student, and how you treat each request for assistance (free or otherwise) has a downstream impact on how you’re perceived.

Peter is perfectly right to set limits on his time and how he uses it. Kami is right in proclaiming that there are multiple ways to set those limits, some of which will be interpreted as more/less aggressive. But ultimately, consultants aren’t just voices in the wilderness, they are small companies. Thus, Peter deciding how he wants to limit his time and communicate that message is no different than Hyundai deciding to offer a 10-year warranty. It’s part of a product marketing initiative. Take the personalities and the Twitter part out of the equation, and this whole issue amounts to a single bullet point in a brochure.

Here’s the overriding point:

We work haaard for the money…..so haaaard for it honey…

Peter,

Though this is the first time that I’ve ever commented on your site, I have been a loyal fan of HARO for some time now. I tell countless people about this incredibly valuable and FREE service that gives entrepreneurs like me an opportunity to increase visibility and exposure through interviews of various sorts. Several times I have been interviewed on radio programs that got me great traction. All for free, and all because of HARO. So, I don’t know you personally, but from what I’ve seen and the comments I’ve read…incredibly arrogant and selfish you are not.

As for the post…

Oh, my gosh, yes – right on! I don’t know what goes on in Kami’s world, but I have learned to run for the hills when I hear these phrases:

-I’d like to pick your brain:) Nuf said.

-I have just a quick question for you, got a minute?
It’s never quick and always take more than a minute.

-I’d like to get to know more about your business, maybe we can be a referral source for each other, let’s meet.
As someone noted earlier, what they really want to do is tell you all about their business and try to sell you something. No real interest in me at all.

-Barb, you should meet so & so, because I think your businesses are complimentary and you can probably help each other.
This usual means one of two things…the folks are competition (the person making the suggestion is obviously blind to that fact), OR they are brand new in business, don’t have a clue yet and not much of a network, so….you guessed it…they want to pick my brain:)

With all that said, I absolutely do believe in helping people as much as possible. And, at some point, I’m my own rainmaker. If I am so busy giving it all away for free, my mortgage doesn’t get paid. What is about that concept that Kami has missed?

Thanks for putting this out there! As business owners, it is our right to determine when we give it away for free. If your tweet ruffled some feathers, Peter. Good. Much as Kami tried to make this about what “she believes” is appropriate online behavior, I feel like she missed the bigger point!

Here was my line today. “If you don’t have any budget for this project, then why did you call me”?

Peter comment = free speech = who cares if it’s arrogant? who is to say it is?
everyone takes themselves so seriously…
I think it’s arrogant to put “APR” after your name…

Peter, thank you! Kudos to you for telling it like it is, and empowering all of us to do the same. I’m SO tired of being asked for free coaching, consulting, and marketing help. Today, someone asked for a free session (or two) and I found out later that they currently make mid-six figures. I’m really scratching my head about the amazing nerve so many people have to ask for free help (and my stunning ability to say yes!). Clearly, there’s a sign on my back that says, “I’m a sucker for those in need – take advantage of me.” No more! The last straw has been snapped! Thanks, Peter, you got me back on track and re-stengthening my boundaries. Very grateful! Kathy

Perhaps worse than those who would obtain your time and expertise for free are those well meaning souls who have nothing to do and feel that you should take time to do it with them.

I’m a little late to this party, and I agree with the perception that other people’s time is often devalued.

My husband is a videographer and frequently gets requests from people who have seen his stuff online (FB, twitter, etc) who want him to edit, or even shoot & edit, video for them. They can’t pay much (or, even, at all) but they will offer a copy of their new $800 program free which he can then (apparently) use to generate more income than he would have gotten from doing their work. If they were willing to pay him. Which they aren’t.

Takes “pick your brain” to a whole new level.

Peter, um, excuse me, I want what you’re making :) I adore freedom of speech. Although, it’s not always free, just as our freedom’s not free. Sometimes you get what you don’t pay for and sometimes you pay for what you get. Double dutch lunch with me anytime you’re in Denver, extended to Peter and/or Kami. Now we’re on the record, not the clock, the record.