Amen. Especially #3. Although it’s funny when two people override their auto responders in this way and ping pong several thousand emails back and forth to each other over the course of the week! I’ve seen it happen. Serve’s em right!

Eloquently put Peter! I totally agree!

Awesome list! I don’t think you missed any but I think you certainly hit on all things annoying about autoresponders. I love the ‘I only work four hours a week…’ part!

Wow, 1.6 million emails a month. Now I’m curious how many aweber’s customers as a whole send out a month if that’s just from you..

Auto-responders replying to mailing lists, so when someone sends a message to the mailing list, EVERYONE gets the autoresponse.

Amen. Two I can add are 1) the “I’m funny” type — where they turn it into a little standup routine about either why they are away or options of what you can do since you can’t reach them and 2) some motivational “reach for the sky/eagles soar” garbage.

the problem with people trying to do #5 is that in trying to make themselves more productive they make everyone else less productive. how much time do i cumulatively have to spend deleting those autoresponders

Very well put! I wish that people would just put a simple away message, especially people I need to get in touch with, so I can move on to the next person as a resource for the story!

don’t you love those people who set up autoresponders and then still send a personal email? well, it is nice to get the real message, getting the a.r. email first kinda is a bummer.Plus when I find out that the recipient is out of the office, I table the conversation only to find out that they may be available afterall. So which is it, they are out or they are selectively in?

My personal fave is the autoresponder that says “returning on June 1″ and it’s already September. Are you so completely unaware of your technology settings, or do you really just not give a sh*t?

PS Don’t reply to this post cause I’m under the sea somewhere in the Maldives trying to dodge an assassin named Shankman :)

I was in the middle of negotiating a contract with someone (EYE was the customer) and I emailed him on a Thursday. The following Monday I sent him my question again and I got his auto-response saying “I’m on vacation for two weeks and won’t be reading email.” When he finally returned from vacation, he wondered why he didn’t get my business.
@encorepath

I agree wholeheartedly, although I do like it when the auto responder lets me know who I should call/email in case I really DO need to get in touch with someone at that company immediately.

I only use the AOL no-other-choices autorespond, “I’m gone until (date) and unable to read your message”. As for those who want to “increase productivity” by not responding; yet have to let you KNOW how productive they are with an auto-respond…how about just NOT reading / responding to the email and leaving it in your inbox. We’re just as busy as you are!

Excellent article

Someone emails me something that requires a response. I respond..and get a long auto-responder saying he or she is trying to avoid spam and requiring me to go to a third-party site to prove I am who I say I am.

Great article, Peter. I really enjoy hearing your thoughts!

Taking this one step further – Twitter auto-responders. You could write an entire article on that one. The Dos and the Don’ts (mostly don’ts, I say!)

Beth
@bpvorsight

I only send several thousand emails a month, but yes…absolutely! Especially number 1.

Agree, and I actually tweeted about this in frustration the other day – wouldn’t it be nice to have a standard autoresponder? I sometimes need to send a message to several (dozen) people, and if I had a way to quickly triage the bouncebacks (e.g., follow up with group A on Sept 5th, group B on Sept 9th, group C after their 8,000th day of maternity which by the way – was a little brutal of a comment) it would be helpful for everyone!
p.s. love your rant style.

Amen! Thank you for pointing these out, especially the “re: Original Subject” ones. I hate doing this monthly, let alone 3x a day. You’re a saint (or crazy??) for still using your personal email!

Don’t forget the auto-responders that require you to verify that you aren’t a spammer by entering an un-readable captcha so your email will be delivered. Love those!

I must confess, I have been a part of the problem. One time due to a client sending me a mail after activating his auto rspeonder, we went in a downward spiral – his auto responder replied instantly to my auto-responces to his etc etc.
We had thousands of mails to delete after that. That was the last time I used an auto responder.

Sorry to double post, but this is a seperate piece. Some spammers use real reply addresses. Nowadays most do not, but there are stilll one or two, and when you auto respond, you are telling them hey – this is a real mail address, polkease send me more junk. Only, now they have your name to go with your address, to make those spams more personal. By switching of the auto responder, you are protecting yourself (of course, you may have the worlds best spam filter in place before mail reches your auto rersponder, in which case this is moot)

OMG. I’ve never even heard of the “AKA, the no-good-reason-for-auto-reply.” Why on earth would someone do that? That’s insane. I hate auto-replies…and I hate voice mail too. Seriously, can we finally get rid of, “Hi, sorry I missed your call. I am either on the phone or away from my desk right now. But please leave your name, number and a brief message and I’ll get back to your as soon as I can.” We are to the point where we should just be able to let the “beep” speak for itself. Same goes for auto replies. “Dude, I’m out. Back on the 20th,” should be good enough. I should delete my voice mail and leave a vacation message like I just mentioned and see what actually happens. Hmmm…have a feeling I’d get a call from my boss. Guess I’d just have to send her to voice mail. :)

I hate auto responders too, especially when they are in response to a group email. For one thing you’re letting a bunch of strangers know that you’re out of town. Good idea. Make sure you tell them where your spare house key is too.

If I only worked 4 hours a week I’d have plenty of time for my emails!

There are better ways to manage email. People going on vacation can let clients and customers know in advance who they can contact in their absence. They could even forward their email to the person covering for them.

And people should use multiple email addresses and get their subscriptions and newsletters at a different account with no vacation or twice-a-day autoresponder and reserve their “real” email address for business contacts.

Thanks for a great reminder that we should all make ourselves easy to do business with and not annoy others.

Double evil: Bad autoresponder PLUS return receipt requested. For over a decade, I have denied every return receipt request. They scream “I am making a paper trail of CYA so I can throw you under the bus later.”

An out-of-office email is necessary for good business communication. Nothing is worse then sending an email out into oblivion and assuming it was received, especially if you are on a deadline, as are most journalists. The key is to make sure you provide an alternative contact at your business that can help the sender if they need immediate assistance.

I tend to disagree with #2. I think providing a tidbit about your vacation adds to the “personality” some businesses are trying to attain with social media. Just don’t go overboard by getting too cutesy. It beats the basic, old-school out-of-office/will return message. It can still be professional, while giving me an idea of the interests of the person I may do business with later. If I get a chuckle out of it, all the better for my day.

I try not to be too jealous of their good fortune, but hey, I’m human too. :o) I’ll just start planning a new adventure for me instead. I may like what they decided to do for their vacation.

Good solid advice on #1.

The all-time BEST audio response I’ve ever gotten is from Gary Vaynerchuk, I love his auto response.

I believe there’s a time and a place for them – and I wish there was a better way in Gmail to filter who gets them (and how often and when).

Tabz

I hate when people forget to turn OFF their autoresponder. Unfortunately I’m guilty of that myself.

Excellent list! Wow! I didn’t realize there were so many ways to be annoying! Ain’t Technology Great!

My pet is the a/r saying that this is an unmonitored mailbox, and I should open a support desk ticket to deliver my message – and all I wanted to do was report a dead link to their offer page. And I should jump through hoops to do that?

OMG this was hilarious. I was just composing a blog post titled “Autoresponders Are The Devil” as I was putting my son to sleep. Now I don’t have to.

Although, you did forget two very annoying auto-responders:

1. The auto-responders you receive when a subscriber receives the blog posts by email that they SUBSCRIBED TO. (Kinda similar to your HARO subscribers)
2. The auto-responders you receive when someone has subscribed to comments on a blog post and someone else posts a new comment. OH. MY. GOD. That is SO annoying.

Thanks, Peter…love your writing and the laughs you always give me.
Heather

LoL those are good but for number 2. I maby should point out this
http://shankman.com/why-dont-y.....trackback/

lol

Perfect post. I am now going to forward this to all of my consulting friends.

Great list and most enlightening. No reply at all is even worse though. For example, I’ve sent about eight email offers of help to people from the Haro mailing list so far and only one lovely person replied which led to great things for both of us. I understand that the others didn’t need me and that’s fine but how hard would it be to send a one liner “Thanks for your offer of help but I’m sorted now.” ? Aren’t these people turning a good PR opportunity into a bad one?

Bam! Truth squarely hit — and with such a hilarious accuracy. Thanks for a great article.

LOL, Peter! hilarious, and oh-so-true.

in autoresponders, put the subject “[auto-reply]“…

but also put a way to reach you or an associate in your company….

and if you use a service like gmail, put your company URL in the email as weel… don’t make me dig it up!

The only people whose autoresponses I truly appreciate are those from journos who have the courtesy to say “Out of office until XX/XX/XX. If you’ve got a hot story, send to to my colleague bill@thehorriblemoneylosingragIworkfor.com“.

Far as I’m concerned, anyone who relies on an autoresponder isn’t paying attention to business – even when on vacation. In this market, can any of us afford that? Unless you’re truly in the wilderness, Blackberries, iPhones and Gmail make it easy enough to at least scan for critical path stuff.

I refuse to use auto responders. Ever. Either I’m answering my email or someone else does it for me. Why in the hell, except in an emergency, tell potential customers you’re too busy for them?

PS…i hate the corporate types who tell me they have LIMITED access to their email because they’re traveling. Bullshit. I know they have blackberries. They send email.

I get autoresponders for emails I didn’t even send because someone else is using my domain to send spam.

Sheesh!

LOL and well said, Peter!

What Diane said in #15!

Leah

I’m annoyed by auto-responders to blog comments. “Thanks for your comment on my blog! Comments are so important to me! You can sigh up for my RSS and never miss another post!”

*barf*

Argh! I’m guilty – GUILTY! Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate the tough love. I’m laughing about #5 – I shoulda known it was a ‘load’ after getting burned with the outsourcing – haha.
3…2…1…auto-responders off… NOW.

I hate the overuse of exclamation points in auto responders. “Thanks for your email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am out of the office but will answer your email upon my return!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

How timely!

This is why I only learn how to use features that I really need. If I’m not here you won’t hear from me until I return or my assistant gets the answer and returns with the answer. It’s about sending the answer.

LOL @ #45. Even if the person doesn’t have a BlackBerry, e-mail can be checked online via webmail.

Profound points all! Pithy comments too! I agree with Tyler (#45) and loved the trackback to your previous post about “doing some work” from mark (#36). Skip’s remark at #43 hits the nail on the head, at least for business owners. I do believe voice mail to be a critical component of business, but long greetings are not necessary. “Away from my desk” sounds like you’re tethered to a hard line and are clueless about modern technology like cell phones. “On the other line” (as well as call waiting features) infer that the person you’re talking to at the moment is NOT the most important person to you at the moment. Kind of like meeting someone face to face, but looking past them for someone more interesting to talk to. My all time favorite voice mail greeting (personal, not business): “I’m making some changes in my life. If I don’t call you back, you’re one of them.”

My favorite: automatic responders informing you that the person who requested information from you will have to authorize your email before they receive it due to spam.

so here I am delivering requested material in a timely fashion and xyz@gmail/aol/hotmail and so on makes me fill out a form, send a second email and than sit and wait to be approved after they asked me to email them.

Thanks, but no thanks. I guess you are getting your info from somewhere else.
@vanessatrost

I’m a service supplier and when I get these responses I’m annoyed but you just made me realize that my clients must also be annoying their customers. I’ll pass this along and I’ll be sure to credit the source. Thanks!

#5 is so right on! Hilarious! Thanks for a funny and useful morning read.

Finally! Someone FINALLY said it! Thank you, Peter. You are a god.

Well said. Except for the maternity leave point. As someone who has taken a maternity leave in 2007, 2008 and have another coming up October 2009, I know a thing or two about maternity leave. Yes, I agree you should not get one three times a day. However, people have short attention spans. When you are out for eight, 10 or 12 weeks, people who you don’t deal with on a regular basis don’t remember that from an email they sent on week one. I have my colleagues turn my auto reply on and off about every two weeks (which triggers people who already getting the auto reply once getting it again). This way, people are reminded every so often that I’m still out taking care of the new baby. It works.

Twitted by @titudeAdjust

I’ll second the comment above about responding to a whole mailing list. I’ve seen especially egregarious instances of this on open source list-serv lists. Peter, you’re a saint for putting your real email in the HARO mailings!

I didn’t have strong opinions either way about auto-responders, until the other day when I emailed Gary Vaynerchuk for the first time and received this:

——————

Subject: Please read and watch the video as I may not be able to get back to your email

Thank you so much for the email you have just sent me. I apologize for the annoying auto-reply but it is better than me being a jerk and not responding. You will see when you click the link below and watch the short video that I am in a strange place where I am getting so many emails that I may not be able to get back to you BUT please be aware I am reading ALL my email. Please click the link to get to all the information you will need and the best ways to connect with me:

http://vaynermedia.com/gary-inbox-message.html

——————

How fantastic is that! Honest, sincere, effective. Perfect use of an auto-responder, in my opinion.

Oh, one of my vendors uses number 5 and it drives me crazy. Its totally her personality though — which drives me crazy. Makes it one more reason why its hard to work with her, I need a quick response!

It’s similar to when you call someone on the phone and their voicemail announces that they’re out of the office until Friday, the 31st and it’s two weeks later when you called and they never bothered to change their recording!!! That truly drives me nuts!

Great post – as some people have said I do appreciate contact information to reach someone taking over in your absence BUT… please, Please, PLEASE remember to update the correct information. When it’s September and your OOO says “I’ll return July 13″ or you list a phone number with a number missing or an old e-mail address, it kiiind of defeats the purpose. Edit your OOO reply as you edit all e-mail communication.

Peter–

Thank you so much for educating people on how to stop killing their businesses by irritating paying customers. Your 5th point is the most frustrating thing that entrpreneurs do.

I would also add that people need to keep their voicemail up to date as well.

Melinda Emerson
@smallbizlady on Twitter

OK, here it is, the Next Big Thing: software that auto-deletes auto-responses! Come on, I know there is an out-of-work code writer who can build it for us. (Please send me a royalty check in any amount you deem appropriate after you sell it to one of The Big Guys.)

I love these… not. When I send an email and I don’t hear from the person for a week. When I do hear from the person, I receive the “Out of Office” (OOO) or “On vacation” email and the day they returned. Obviously, they set up the OOO wrong.

I say, just don’t use auto responders! Walla! Problem solved! ;)

AMEN! The last one is the worst offender in my book. I mean, really, if you are only checking your e-mail periodically and prefer to be contacted in another manner, then don’t give out your e-mail address.

Sorry to jump in late to this, but I happen to encourage people to #5…but, not quite. I understand the 4HWW auto responder, but I don’t like how it’s implemented in ANY email applications. In other words–letting people know how to reach you in an emergency makes sense, but not every day or every 4 days or whatever. So, something that makes sense in principle doesn’t make sense with today’s technology.

So after wrestling with this for a year, my company finally built an intelligent won’t-p.o.-peter-shankman system. And in a month or so anyone who uses AwayFind can say, “auto respond to only these people and only this often.” So some people never get an auto response, and those who do will only get it once. This works for 4HWW people and folks who are just out of town and don’t want to p.o. friends, family, and co-workers on every email.

I think auto responders as a whole are broken, but they don’t have to be. So I’m at least trying one way to fix it. I look forward to next time I see you so we can have a long long debate about this. In the mean time, I’ll make sure any HARO messages never get AwayFind auto responders with our new version.

Am I allowed to disagree with nearly every point?

I’ll leave out mocking of the 67 comments and RTs before me — they’re simply too …. well too much.

1) Most people don’t understand their tech. They likely don’t know there are options.

2) Many people don’t pick their own technology. It’s some IT guy in a basement and they simply don’t have the options available to them — their OOO (out of office) msg does Re: Period — no options.

3) The IT guy in the basement did not pick the technology his company based on how it deal with OOO msgs. S/He picked it based on security, remote or web interfaces, user interface, integration with legacy systems or productivity software (Word processing, spreadsheets, etc.). If OOO preferences were anywhere on the list they were last.

4) Peter, you really? You don’t care about your bud who’ll be scuba diving for 2 weeks. It gives you something to talk about on their return — relationship building at its very best

5) I need the helpful maternity leave reminder — you know what — that item isn’t making its way onto my calendar, particularly given the number of people who don’t return to work following maternity leave b/c they’ve decided to becomes stay at home moms or get better jobs while off.

6) The two times per day thing — Blame T. Ferriss and the 4 hour workweek. It’s one of his techniques for time management. And given that most people are willing to do what they’re told to do it likely works.

Well, I am now informed as to why I have been getting the same responses, each and every time I have sent an email to a few individuals. I am out of the office – I only check my mail twice a week. etc. WOW, unbelievable. Then they email me and want my business – sorry, no thanks.

Re: #5. Just listened to very successful entrepreneur talk about how he NEVER uses email. His time is just plain too valuable for that, now that he is a very successful guy after all (makes a point of saying very often how he started out poor). So bottom line is that anyone else who needs to reach him has to go through his minions who may or may not get the point. So yes, everyone else’s productivity goes down. And he looses out on some communication that might inform or surprise him. Isn’t this why we moved beyond the strict secretary/gatekeeper-boss model decades ago?

There are exceptions – For support inquires, we use an autoresponder that give info on immediate avenues – i.e. chat or telephone. For new signups we autorespond info on accessing their new account and tips on getting started.

For those checking email once a day, I wonder how big a “hole” that is (about 15%) for us and how it can be exploited.

Finally, the AVERAGE time for someone to open an email is 72 hours. No kidding!

most people in corporate jobs don’t stop to think that their autoresponder messages go out to everyone, not just those in their office

HA! I actually found this extremely old post googling “autoresponders to help me cut down on email”. And your commenters brought up a great point – I’m just going to be ADDING to the email pile of other people.

If I want to stop checking email constantly, *I* need to have the self discipline to do that. Most people who are important realize that email is not the same as a 24/7 shock collar and have a cell number to reach me if necessary in a truly urgent matter.

Thanks for helping me rethink this before I became an asshole. Especially because of the way you described… welll – just thanks. ;-)

Quit telling me the date WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW THE DATE. No one woke up and said “I wish I knew today’s date incorrectly. Maybe Jane or Bob will not be accurate and give me the wrong calendar.”
I hate getting holiday or vacation autoresponders (and voice mail) weeks or months after their date has expired. Do you agree?

I’d be interested in your take on how/whether to use auto responders for employees who have left the company. I’m in a couple unique situations where employees have left, but now are contractors, even though I can’t expect them to use my email system. The customer relationships are sensitive. Thoughts?

Worst: “K”

Really?Couldn’t splurge for the “O”?

#5 kills me, I had a client that sent me a gazillion emails while she was NOT checking emails. She is no longer a client! Prior to starting my business I worked in a BIG law firm for 25 years, #5 is reason for execution!

Happy holidays – love this post!

Hahaha! Beautiful. Especially #5. I agree it IS the worst. In today’s world it’s easy enough to answer emails. Seriously. Anyone who is “playing that game” is doing just that: playing a game. “I’m so important, I’m inaccessible.” I get that, to a degree. We all need to set boundaries and yes, some folks are simply not accessible. But those who aren’t accessible for legitimate reasons, know who they are. They aren’t putting on. And they have SOMEONE else who IS accessible on their behalf. Those people are “filtered”, not inaccessible. Everyone else doing that is a poser and a wannabe.

When I had a regular 9-5 job you were required to put those auto-responders on, even if you had a really unimportant job. My role was to send out mass mailings and the hundreds of out of… replies tormented me until I discovered the joy of filters and they magically disappeared. Plus my bosses were eternally grateful when I created those same filters for them. For #5 Really? You need to tell me you are going to be productive? However, if I need to reach you I would appreciate a note saying you are gone for five weeks.

Agreed, but don’t you think you are being a little harsh on women who take maternity leave?

Just wanted to tell you that HARO emails were actually considered spam by my company’s filter for at least 6 months – something about the server that the emails originated from kept changing? So even though the domain was white listed, the emails didn’t go through.

The one that drives me crazy (and maybe it is just me) is the one that says “…I will respond to you are my convenience.” They also do it on their voicemail messages.

Uh, excuse me, at YOUR convenience?! Whatever happened to customer service?

This is my all-time favorite: When Corp sales reps put the “I’m out of the office attending appointments for the day/morning/afternoon” auto responder on…even when the have a blackberry. Or even if they don’t. Here’s why I find it highly suspicious:

1. They are probably going to check their email at least 3 times a day even w/auto responder on (if they don’t carry a blackberry)
2. They are constantly going to be checking email if they do have a blackberry bc I’ve been on appointments with these types who have completely ignored me bc they are answering emails whilst said autoreaponder is on.

Its ultimately an announcement of “productivity,” which I believe is solely to appear busy when their managers email them.

I know this to be fact bc they are not ignoring clients (I share clients and always get sweeping reviews of how quickly they respond to every little question).

I used to do this when I first took the job I have…bc everyone else did. Then I stopped bc I always respond to emails. Unless I’m on vacation. Then I use a standard one. As a courtesy to let ppl know they need to get answers elsewhere.

Phew…that was a lot of typing.

Awesome advice. And now I definitely dont want to read that damn 4 hour Work Week book. I just don’t have the patience to hire a team of midgets who speak a foreign language. Thanks Peter. Happy holidays!

RE: your blog post – I am out of the office exploring new planets and won’t leave comments on your blog post until the year 2525, or maybe next week, whichever comes first. Unless you use sub-space RSS. Then maybe we’ll talk…

Thanks for sharing – this was really funny. My clients are mostly lawyers and finance people who usually tow the line in business writing. I have seen a few renegade vendors out there who are trying to get recognized and they always make themselves look silly. I’m about to post my OUT OF OFFICE and I will keep it simple.

Great article! Sadly I expect the majority of us who took the time to read it are the same ones who don’t need it because we get multiple auto responders a day!

Just wanted to add that I appreciate when the auto-responder gives an email for someone else I can contact if I need something urgent. I emailed someone to follow up on an ad which I had not received by the deadline, and after I got his auto responder, I had to spend quite a while hunting down someone else in the company who could help me and then explaining to them where we had left everything. Otherwise, great points, Peter! Thanks.

Irony: A woman you’ve met one time puts you on her newsletter subscriber list, and you reply, asking to be unsubscribed from her spamletter. Then you get an auto-responder that says in her attempt to reduce spam, she requires you to type in a captcha before your reply will be delivered! UGH.

Great points.
Of course these days only the slackers are really completely off the radar ;-) Seriously though, for holiday periods people understand if you don’t get back to them withing a hour or a few days. No autoresponder needed in at least 50% of the cases when I get one.

I love your blog post so true. Continue to preach the truth.
Ciao,
Maurice

Well said! Though I have one small disagree with #2. My company is closed the week between Christmas and New Year’s day, so I actually think it’s important to say that in the auto-reply message (though not need to add that you’ll be spending the week in the Maldives…agreed). I think adding that little bit of info could actually prevent the sender from sending other emails to people in my company, wasting his/her time.

That, and I don’t think American women get eight thousand days of maternity leave. But I’m all ears if you know of somewhere that does. ;-) But I do think it’s important for semi-regular out of office replies (not daily) in long term leave situations. I’ve found most people need a gentle reminder (actually most need a cattle prod, but that’s a whole other post).

Thanks for making me laugh. I hate them too!

I am friggin’ in love with this post. I just got the “I’m on vacation and you’re not you poor overworked schmuck” auto-responder and now I feel like a loser at this holiday time and quess what, I just don’t think that I need their marketing services after all! Sore loser. You betcha but hey, on my laptop, it’s all about me:)

In addition to the ones you’ve noted, my pet peeve is the auto-response that assumes I’m reading it immediately, or that I know who it’s from, or anything else. E.g., “I’m out of the office, returning Monday.” Great. Very helpful. And warm. And professional. Oops — it’s actually none of those.

How about something warm, professional AND useful? Try: “Thanks for your email. Unfortunately, I have limited (or no) access to email or voicemail until Monday, January 2, 2012, at 9am ET. In an emergency, please call my assistant Nancy White @ (888) 555-1212 or email her @ nancywhite@fakemail.com. Else, I’ll respond as soon as possible upon my return. Thanks again! Happy New Year!

Jim Martell
Martell Security Consultants, LLC
(404) xxx-yyyy”

Short, sweet, informative. But not too much of any of the above.

By the way, if you electronically reveal that you’re out of town, on vacation, etc., you’re asking for trouble. Why would you volunteer that kind of information to strangers? Just say you don’t have access, or that your access is limited, until whenever it won’t be! The person trying to reach you does not need to know that your home and family are vulnerable as you are not in the same area code until such-and-such. Same goes for foursquare, trip-it, and similar apps on various online media.

My out of office pet peeve is “I’m out to lunch” or “I’m gone for the day’” — You are out to lunch if you have to tell me that!