Auto-Responder Email replies: Ur doin it WRONG.
Sigh.
Running HARO, I send out close to 1,600,000 million double-opt-in, requested emails every single month. Yes, you read that right. 1,600,000 emails per month, not one of which has ever been considered SPAM.
But unlike, say, Continental Airlines, or Crate and Barrel, my emails don’t come from “DONOTREPLY@continental.com” or “AUTOMATEDEMAIL@crateandbarrel.com” – When I started HARO, it was a personal mission. As such, every single HARO email you’ve ever gotten has come from my own personal email address – pe…@—nkman.com (dashes and dots put in to confuse spambots. If you get the HARO, you know my email.)
You know what that means? That means I know when the HARO has gone out, not because I have a little alarm, and not because my editors tell me so, but because I go from 0 to 300 unread emails (on a slow day) in a little under sixty seconds when the HARO goes out – and those emails? AUTO EMAIL RESPONDERS.
You might think you’re being helpful by using them. In some cases, you are. Most cases, though, ur doin it wrong. Five quick rules on how to use the any kind of automatic responder on your email.
1) If it’s an out-of-office responder, MAKE SURE THE SUBJECT LINE SAYS OUT OF OFFICE – and not “Re.” If the auto-responder says “re,” it means you’re replying to me. Auto-responders are designed to be filtered quickly – “Oh, OK, OUT OF OFFICE from John, I guess he’s out of the office.” “Re:” and then the subject I sent you means “Oh, John’s responded. Let’s see what he says about the… Oh, he’s out of the office. Idiot.” Most auto-responders are programmed to say “OUT OF OFFICE.” Don’t change this.
2) That’s lovely that you’re on vacation. WE DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT. If I send you an email and get back an auto-reply saying you’re “Out of the office for the next two weeks, scuba diving in the Maldives,” that means that I’M NOT, BECAUSE I HAD TO SEND THE EMAIL. So automatically, my hatred of you goes up a notch. Simple and to the point: “Out of office until 9/4. Will return your email upon my return.” And don’t try and be cute. “Hey, I could answer your email, but I can’t email you from under the sea, where I am!” I’ll find you and crimp your air-hose.
3) Congrats, you’re on maternity leave. Once is fine, thanks. Almost EVERY email auto-responder feature understands that if you’ve emailed me once to tell me you’re out of the office, you don’t have to do it again, since logic would suggest that you’re STILL out of the office. Turning these off essentially means that EVERY SINGLE TIME I email you, or ANYONE emails you within a cc box, or anything, we’ll find out that yes, you’re still on maternity leave. For all eight thousand days of your maternity leave.
4) The gratuitous auto-responder – AKA, the no-good-reason-for-auto-reply. Worst part of the following image is that he’s a really nice guy, and I like him! So I’ve deleted the name of this person, but I get this auto-reply three times a day. I also get it after every email correspondence I have with him. That means, if we go back and forth six times, I get 12 emails from him, six of which I have to delete. STOP IT. YOU’RE HURTING PEOPLE:
Don't be this guy, however well-meaning you are.
5) This is, hands down, the worst possible one EVER: The “I only check my email twice a day to increase productivity, and I’ll send everyone who emails me an auto-reply telling you that.” These are the people who’ve read that insane “I only work four hours a week and do it from a beach and outsource everything to small midgets in foreign countries and spend the rest of my time going on the Today Show” book. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU’RE TRYING TO BE LIKE HIM. YOU’RE NOT HIM. Emailing me to tell me that you’re not reading my email until 4pm when it’s 9:15 in the morning and I need something from you guarantees you only ONE THING: I WILL GO TO SOMEONE ELSE FOR WHAT I NEED, AND THEY WILL GET MY BUSINESS. By the time you get around to responding to me, I’ll have paid someone else all the money I was going to give you. End of story. If you have to shut off your email because it’s interfering with your productivity, you need to learn to better manage how to live your life, and email should be the least of your worries. As a caveat: If you’re using HARO and using that rule? You might as well unsubscribe – By the time you “get around” to answering the reporter, she or he will have all the info they need from people who answered immediately.
What’s your one auto-responder pet-peeve that I missed? Leave it in the comments.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Amen. Especially #3. Although it’s funny when two people override their auto responders in this way and ping pong several thousand emails back and forth to each other over the course of the week! I’ve seen it happen. Serve’s em right!
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Eloquently put Peter! I totally agree!
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Awesome list! I don’t think you missed any but I think you certainly hit on all things annoying about autoresponders. I love the ‘I only work four hours a week…’ part!
Wow, 1.6 million emails a month. Now I’m curious how many aweber’s customers as a whole send out a month if that’s just from you..
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Auto-responders replying to mailing lists, so when someone sends a message to the mailing list, EVERYONE gets the autoresponse.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Amen. Two I can add are 1) the “I’m funny” type — where they turn it into a little standup routine about either why they are away or options of what you can do since you can’t reach them and 2) some motivational “reach for the sky/eagles soar” garbage.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:05 pm
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September 2nd, 2009 at 3:05 pm
the problem with people trying to do #5 is that in trying to make themselves more productive they make everyone else less productive. how much time do i cumulatively have to spend deleting those autoresponders
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Very well put! I wish that people would just put a simple away message, especially people I need to get in touch with, so I can move on to the next person as a resource for the story!
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:10 pm
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September 2nd, 2009 at 3:11 pm
don’t you love those people who set up autoresponders and then still send a personal email? well, it is nice to get the real message, getting the a.r. email first kinda is a bummer.Plus when I find out that the recipient is out of the office, I table the conversation only to find out that they may be available afterall. So which is it, they are out or they are selectively in?
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:24 pm
My personal fave is the autoresponder that says “returning on June 1″ and it’s already September. Are you so completely unaware of your technology settings, or do you really just not give a sh*t?
PS Don’t reply to this post cause I’m under the sea somewhere in the Maldives trying to dodge an assassin named Shankman
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:29 pm
I was in the middle of negotiating a contract with someone (EYE was the customer) and I emailed him on a Thursday. The following Monday I sent him my question again and I got his auto-response saying “I’m on vacation for two weeks and won’t be reading email.” When he finally returned from vacation, he wondered why he didn’t get my business.
@encorepath
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I agree wholeheartedly, although I do like it when the auto responder lets me know who I should call/email in case I really DO need to get in touch with someone at that company immediately.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:47 pm
I only use the AOL no-other-choices autorespond, “I’m gone until (date) and unable to read your message”. As for those who want to “increase productivity” by not responding; yet have to let you KNOW how productive they are with an auto-respond…how about just NOT reading / responding to the email and leaving it in your inbox. We’re just as busy as you are!
Excellent article
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Someone emails me something that requires a response. I respond..and get a long auto-responder saying he or she is trying to avoid spam and requiring me to go to a third-party site to prove I am who I say I am.
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:52 pm
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September 2nd, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Great article, Peter. I really enjoy hearing your thoughts!
Taking this one step further – Twitter auto-responders. You could write an entire article on that one. The Dos and the Don’ts (mostly don’ts, I say!)
Beth
@bpvorsight
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:19 pm
I only send several thousand emails a month, but yes…absolutely! Especially number 1.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Agree, and I actually tweeted about this in frustration the other day – wouldn’t it be nice to have a standard autoresponder? I sometimes need to send a message to several (dozen) people, and if I had a way to quickly triage the bouncebacks (e.g., follow up with group A on Sept 5th, group B on Sept 9th, group C after their 8,000th day of maternity which by the way – was a little brutal of a comment) it would be helpful for everyone!
p.s. love your rant style.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Amen! Thank you for pointing these out, especially the “re: Original Subject” ones. I hate doing this monthly, let alone 3x a day. You’re a saint (or crazy??) for still using your personal email!
Don’t forget the auto-responders that require you to verify that you aren’t a spammer by entering an un-readable captcha so your email will be delivered. Love those!
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:38 pm
I must confess, I have been a part of the problem. One time due to a client sending me a mail after activating his auto rspeonder, we went in a downward spiral – his auto responder replied instantly to my auto-responces to his etc etc.
We had thousands of mails to delete after that. That was the last time I used an auto responder.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Sorry to double post, but this is a seperate piece. Some spammers use real reply addresses. Nowadays most do not, but there are stilll one or two, and when you auto respond, you are telling them hey – this is a real mail address, polkease send me more junk. Only, now they have your name to go with your address, to make those spams more personal. By switching of the auto responder, you are protecting yourself (of course, you may have the worlds best spam filter in place before mail reches your auto rersponder, in which case this is moot)
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:46 pm
OMG. I’ve never even heard of the “AKA, the no-good-reason-for-auto-reply.” Why on earth would someone do that? That’s insane. I hate auto-replies…and I hate voice mail too. Seriously, can we finally get rid of, “Hi, sorry I missed your call. I am either on the phone or away from my desk right now. But please leave your name, number and a brief message and I’ll get back to your as soon as I can.” We are to the point where we should just be able to let the “beep” speak for itself. Same goes for auto replies. “Dude, I’m out. Back on the 20th,” should be good enough. I should delete my voice mail and leave a vacation message like I just mentioned and see what actually happens. Hmmm…have a feeling I’d get a call from my boss. Guess I’d just have to send her to voice mail.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I hate auto responders too, especially when they are in response to a group email. For one thing you’re letting a bunch of strangers know that you’re out of town. Good idea. Make sure you tell them where your spare house key is too.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:48 pm
If I only worked 4 hours a week I’d have plenty of time for my emails!
There are better ways to manage email. People going on vacation can let clients and customers know in advance who they can contact in their absence. They could even forward their email to the person covering for them.
And people should use multiple email addresses and get their subscriptions and newsletters at a different account with no vacation or twice-a-day autoresponder and reserve their “real” email address for business contacts.
Thanks for a great reminder that we should all make ourselves easy to do business with and not annoy others.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Double evil: Bad autoresponder PLUS return receipt requested. For over a decade, I have denied every return receipt request. They scream “I am making a paper trail of CYA so I can throw you under the bus later.”
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
An out-of-office email is necessary for good business communication. Nothing is worse then sending an email out into oblivion and assuming it was received, especially if you are on a deadline, as are most journalists. The key is to make sure you provide an alternative contact at your business that can help the sender if they need immediate assistance.
I tend to disagree with #2. I think providing a tidbit about your vacation adds to the “personality” some businesses are trying to attain with social media. Just don’t go overboard by getting too cutesy. It beats the basic, old-school out-of-office/will return message. It can still be professional, while giving me an idea of the interests of the person I may do business with later. If I get a chuckle out of it, all the better for my day.
I try not to be too jealous of their good fortune, but hey, I’m human too.
) I’ll just start planning a new adventure for me instead. I may like what they decided to do for their vacation.
Good solid advice on #1.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:59 pm
The all-time BEST audio response I’ve ever gotten is from Gary Vaynerchuk, I love his auto response.
I believe there’s a time and a place for them – and I wish there was a better way in Gmail to filter who gets them (and how often and when).
Tabz
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
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September 2nd, 2009 at 5:22 pm
I hate when people forget to turn OFF their autoresponder. Unfortunately I’m guilty of that myself.
September 2nd, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Excellent list! Wow! I didn’t realize there were so many ways to be annoying! Ain’t Technology Great!
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:13 pm
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September 2nd, 2009 at 7:10 pm
My pet is the a/r saying that this is an unmonitored mailbox, and I should open a support desk ticket to deliver my message – and all I wanted to do was report a dead link to their offer page. And I should jump through hoops to do that?
September 2nd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
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September 2nd, 2009 at 7:26 pm
OMG this was hilarious. I was just composing a blog post titled “Autoresponders Are The Devil” as I was putting my son to sleep. Now I don’t have to.
Although, you did forget two very annoying auto-responders:
1. The auto-responders you receive when a subscriber receives the blog posts by email that they SUBSCRIBED TO. (Kinda similar to your HARO subscribers)
2. The auto-responders you receive when someone has subscribed to comments on a blog post and someone else posts a new comment. OH. MY. GOD. That is SO annoying.
Thanks, Peter…love your writing and the laughs you always give me.
Heather
September 2nd, 2009 at 8:08 pm
LoL those are good but for number 2. I maby should point out this
http://shankman.com/why-dont-y.....trackback/
lol
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Perfect post. I am now going to forward this to all of my consulting friends.
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Great list and most enlightening. No reply at all is even worse though. For example, I’ve sent about eight email offers of help to people from the Haro mailing list so far and only one lovely person replied which led to great things for both of us. I understand that the others didn’t need me and that’s fine but how hard would it be to send a one liner “Thanks for your offer of help but I’m sorted now.” ? Aren’t these people turning a good PR opportunity into a bad one?
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:58 am
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September 3rd, 2009 at 3:33 am
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September 3rd, 2009 at 5:40 am
Bam! Truth squarely hit — and with such a hilarious accuracy. Thanks for a great article.
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:56 am
LOL, Peter! hilarious, and oh-so-true.
in autoresponders, put the subject “[auto-reply]“…
but also put a way to reach you or an associate in your company….
and if you use a service like gmail, put your company URL in the email as weel… don’t make me dig it up!
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:23 am
The only people whose autoresponses I truly appreciate are those from journos who have the courtesy to say “Out of office until XX/XX/XX. If you’ve got a hot story, send to to my colleague bill@thehorriblemoneylosingragIworkfor.com“.
Far as I’m concerned, anyone who relies on an autoresponder isn’t paying attention to business – even when on vacation. In this market, can any of us afford that? Unless you’re truly in the wilderness, Blackberries, iPhones and Gmail make it easy enough to at least scan for critical path stuff.
September 3rd, 2009 at 6:33 am
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September 3rd, 2009 at 6:58 am
I refuse to use auto responders. Ever. Either I’m answering my email or someone else does it for me. Why in the hell, except in an emergency, tell potential customers you’re too busy for them?
PS…i hate the corporate types who tell me they have LIMITED access to their email because they’re traveling. Bullshit. I know they have blackberries. They send email.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:32 am
I get autoresponders for emails I didn’t even send because someone else is using my domain to send spam.
Sheesh!
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:46 am
LOL and well said, Peter!
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:57 am
What Diane said in #15!
Leah
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:00 am
I’m annoyed by auto-responders to blog comments. “Thanks for your comment on my blog! Comments are so important to me! You can sigh up for my RSS and never miss another post!”
*barf*
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:01 am
Argh! I’m guilty – GUILTY! Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate the tough love. I’m laughing about #5 – I shoulda known it was a ‘load’ after getting burned with the outsourcing – haha.
3…2…1…auto-responders off… NOW.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:08 am
I hate the overuse of exclamation points in auto responders. “Thanks for your email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am out of the office but will answer your email upon my return!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:12 am
How timely!
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:21 am
This is why I only learn how to use features that I really need. If I’m not here you won’t hear from me until I return or my assistant gets the answer and returns with the answer. It’s about sending the answer.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:22 am
LOL @ #45. Even if the person doesn’t have a BlackBerry, e-mail can be checked online via webmail.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 am
Profound points all! Pithy comments too! I agree with Tyler (#45) and loved the trackback to your previous post about “doing some work” from mark (#36). Skip’s remark at #43 hits the nail on the head, at least for business owners. I do believe voice mail to be a critical component of business, but long greetings are not necessary. “Away from my desk” sounds like you’re tethered to a hard line and are clueless about modern technology like cell phones. “On the other line” (as well as call waiting features) infer that the person you’re talking to at the moment is NOT the most important person to you at the moment. Kind of like meeting someone face to face, but looking past them for someone more interesting to talk to. My all time favorite voice mail greeting (personal, not business): “I’m making some changes in my life. If I don’t call you back, you’re one of them.”
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:26 am
My favorite: automatic responders informing you that the person who requested information from you will have to authorize your email before they receive it due to spam.
so here I am delivering requested material in a timely fashion and xyz@gmail/aol/hotmail and so on makes me fill out a form, send a second email and than sit and wait to be approved after they asked me to email them.
Thanks, but no thanks. I guess you are getting your info from somewhere else.
@vanessatrost
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:27 am
I’m a service supplier and when I get these responses I’m annoyed but you just made me realize that my clients must also be annoying their customers. I’ll pass this along and I’ll be sure to credit the source. Thanks!
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:51 am
#5 is so right on! Hilarious! Thanks for a funny and useful morning read.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:57 am
Finally! Someone FINALLY said it! Thank you, Peter. You are a god.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:02 am
Well said. Except for the maternity leave point. As someone who has taken a maternity leave in 2007, 2008 and have another coming up October 2009, I know a thing or two about maternity leave. Yes, I agree you should not get one three times a day. However, people have short attention spans. When you are out for eight, 10 or 12 weeks, people who you don’t deal with on a regular basis don’t remember that from an email they sent on week one. I have my colleagues turn my auto reply on and off about every two weeks (which triggers people who already getting the auto reply once getting it again). This way, people are reminded every so often that I’m still out taking care of the new baby. It works.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:05 am
Twitted by @titudeAdjust
I’ll second the comment above about responding to a whole mailing list. I’ve seen especially egregarious instances of this on open source list-serv lists. Peter, you’re a saint for putting your real email in the HARO mailings!
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:30 am
I didn’t have strong opinions either way about auto-responders, until the other day when I emailed Gary Vaynerchuk for the first time and received this:
——————
Subject: Please read and watch the video as I may not be able to get back to your email
Thank you so much for the email you have just sent me. I apologize for the annoying auto-reply but it is better than me being a jerk and not responding. You will see when you click the link below and watch the short video that I am in a strange place where I am getting so many emails that I may not be able to get back to you BUT please be aware I am reading ALL my email. Please click the link to get to all the information you will need and the best ways to connect with me:
http://vaynermedia.com/gary-inbox-message.html
——————
How fantastic is that! Honest, sincere, effective. Perfect use of an auto-responder, in my opinion.
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:51 am
Oh, one of my vendors uses number 5 and it drives me crazy. Its totally her personality though — which drives me crazy. Makes it one more reason why its hard to work with her, I need a quick response!
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:47 am
It’s similar to when you call someone on the phone and their voicemail announces that they’re out of the office until Friday, the 31st and it’s two weeks later when you called and they never bothered to change their recording!!! That truly drives me nuts!
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Great post – as some people have said I do appreciate contact information to reach someone taking over in your absence BUT… please, Please, PLEASE remember to update the correct information. When it’s September and your OOO says “I’ll return July 13″ or you list a phone number with a number missing or an old e-mail address, it kiiind of defeats the purpose. Edit your OOO reply as you edit all e-mail communication.
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Peter–
Thank you so much for educating people on how to stop killing their businesses by irritating paying customers. Your 5th point is the most frustrating thing that entrpreneurs do.
I would also add that people need to keep their voicemail up to date as well.
Melinda Emerson
@smallbizlady on Twitter
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
OK, here it is, the Next Big Thing: software that auto-deletes auto-responses! Come on, I know there is an out-of-work code writer who can build it for us. (Please send me a royalty check in any amount you deem appropriate after you sell it to one of The Big Guys.)
September 3rd, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I love these… not. When I send an email and I don’t hear from the person for a week. When I do hear from the person, I receive the “Out of Office” (OOO) or “On vacation” email and the day they returned. Obviously, they set up the OOO wrong.
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I say, just don’t use auto responders! Walla! Problem solved!
September 3rd, 2009 at 4:47 pm
AMEN! The last one is the worst offender in my book. I mean, really, if you are only checking your e-mail periodically and prefer to be contacted in another manner, then don’t give out your e-mail address.
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:17 pm
[...] Read the original here: Auto-Responder Email&#… [...]
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Sorry to jump in late to this, but I happen to encourage people to #5…but, not quite. I understand the 4HWW auto responder, but I don’t like how it’s implemented in ANY email applications. In other words–letting people know how to reach you in an emergency makes sense, but not every day or every 4 days or whatever. So, something that makes sense in principle doesn’t make sense with today’s technology.
So after wrestling with this for a year, my company finally built an intelligent won’t-p.o.-peter-shankman system. And in a month or so anyone who uses AwayFind can say, “auto respond to only these people and only this often.” So some people never get an auto response, and those who do will only get it once. This works for 4HWW people and folks who are just out of town and don’t want to p.o. friends, family, and co-workers on every email.
I think auto responders as a whole are broken, but they don’t have to be. So I’m at least trying one way to fix it. I look forward to next time I see you so we can have a long long debate about this. In the mean time, I’ll make sure any HARO messages never get AwayFind auto responders with our new version.
September 4th, 2009 at 12:39 am
Am I allowed to disagree with nearly every point?
I’ll leave out mocking of the 67 comments and RTs before me — they’re simply too …. well too much.
1) Most people don’t understand their tech. They likely don’t know there are options.
2) Many people don’t pick their own technology. It’s some IT guy in a basement and they simply don’t have the options available to them — their OOO (out of office) msg does Re: Period — no options.
3) The IT guy in the basement did not pick the technology his company based on how it deal with OOO msgs. S/He picked it based on security, remote or web interfaces, user interface, integration with legacy systems or productivity software (Word processing, spreadsheets, etc.). If OOO preferences were anywhere on the list they were last.
4) Peter, you really? You don’t care about your bud who’ll be scuba diving for 2 weeks. It gives you something to talk about on their return — relationship building at its very best
5) I need the helpful maternity leave reminder — you know what — that item isn’t making its way onto my calendar, particularly given the number of people who don’t return to work following maternity leave b/c they’ve decided to becomes stay at home moms or get better jobs while off.
6) The two times per day thing — Blame T. Ferriss and the 4 hour workweek. It’s one of his techniques for time management. And given that most people are willing to do what they’re told to do it likely works.
September 5th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
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September 6th, 2009 at 12:50 am
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September 9th, 2009 at 11:42 am
[...] Though they do serve a purpose, to let the sender know you are out and to not expect an immediate or timely response, there is (or should be) some rules. Shankman includes the following (make sure you read the full article and explanations): [...]
October 1st, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Well, I am now informed as to why I have been getting the same responses, each and every time I have sent an email to a few individuals. I am out of the office – I only check my mail twice a week. etc. WOW, unbelievable. Then they email me and want my business – sorry, no thanks.