No I won’t subject my audience to your bullshit, so stop asking.

Have you joined my incredibly non-annoying, once-in-a-while email newsletter?

One of the more annoying things about going off the grid for thee days to hang with Penguins and Elephant Seals is that when you come back on the grid, you have to deal with the barrage of emails. I noticed something interesting as I was going through them, though – I had fourteen emails asking if I would share some bullshit with my audience, if I’d send a tweet about something on someone’s behalf, if I’d post about something on Facebook, someone even went so far as to ask me if I would make a mention on “all of my social channels” of their new thing.

My reply to 13 of 14 of them? Hell no. In fact, to one, I mentioned they should consider catching the bus right outside their door, the Nope 57, heading non-stop to NeverEmailMeAgainville.

Why? Because this: I have worked my ass off for years and years to cultivate the audience I have. I respect them, and I know that without them, I wouldn’t have a business or a brand. So my simply “having a big audience” doesn’t equate to my sending out annoying self-promotional posts about your bullshit that has absolutely no relevance to my audience in the first place!

are-you-kidding-me-6a0ac179c573171e9b9fa5b7b9bc7c366275b640“But Peter, you’re such a nice guy! Why won’t you do this one little thing I’m asking for? It’s not that big of a deal, is it?”

Actually, it’s an incredibly freaking huge mountain of a deal. If I started posting things to my audience that had nothing to do with them, how long do you think I’d continue to have an audience?

Remember my favorite saying in the world: “Having an audience is a privilege, not a right. It’s exactly like wearing Spandex.” (Tweet this!) I can’t even begin to tell you how true that quote continues to be, day in and day out.

Want to promote your stuff to a huge audience? Great. Spend years cultivating an audience by producing great content that you know they’ll love. Do this religiously, day in and day out. Protect your audience with a fierceness of a tiger protecting her newborn cub. Don’t put anything else before your audience, and communicate with them constantly to find out what they like, and how their tastes are evolving. Once you do that, you can promote whatever the hell you want to them.

Can you use my audience? No, you can’t. But I can, and I can tell them why you aren’t allowed to. Which I just did.

Join the discussion 20 Comments

  • Brenda Spandrio says:

    I so appreciate this message! I’m at the beginning stages of building my connections and get so frustrated with the hawking of ‘secret formulas’ to build my audience fast and easy (for an outrageous price, of course). The successful entrepreneurs that I follow and study all say the same thing: DO THE WORK! So here I go…

  • Brenda Spandrio says:

    I so appreciate this message! I’m at the beginning stages of building my connections and get so frustrated with the hawking of ‘secret formulas’ to build my audience fast and easy (for an outrageous price, of course). The successful entrepreneurs that I follow and study all say the same thing: DO THE WORK! So here I go…

  • Jessie says:

    Go you! It’s like strangers asking to bring people to your birthday party when they weren’t even invited in the first place.

  • Jessie says:

    Go you! It’s like strangers asking to bring people to your birthday party when they weren’t even invited in the first place.

  • Paulette F. says:

    Yes! I am always saying no and sometimes people ask multiple times. So hard. Love this post. 🙂

  • Paulette F. says:

    Yes! I am always saying no and sometimes people ask multiple times. So hard. Love this post. 🙂

  • Vj Sleight says:

    Good for you. Just wasted 5 minutes of my time today looking at something that someone suggested was the greatest thing since sliced bread. I won’t be taking anymore advice from him again.

  • Vj Sleight says:

    Good for you. Just wasted 5 minutes of my time today looking at something that someone suggested was the greatest thing since sliced bread. I won’t be taking anymore advice from him again.

  • Julie Bestry says:

    If only the people who needed to absorb this message weren’t the ones who read it and said, “Oh, but Peter can’t mean *me*.” Yes. He can. He does.

    Peter, your frustration is evident, but you’re a mensch for sharing this reality check.

  • Julie Bestry says:

    If only the people who needed to absorb this message weren’t the ones who read it and said, “Oh, but Peter can’t mean *me*.” Yes. He can. He does.

    Peter, your frustration is evident, but you’re a mensch for sharing this reality check.

  • Totally agree. I those same 14 wrote to me after you said no. 😉

  • Meg Tocantins says:

    I wouldn’t think of it. But I admit that, occasionally, I think, “What would Peter do?” 😉

  • Peter, I’m a social media consultant too, and I carefully cultivated my following over a lifetime. I also get asked like 12 times a day to “please post” something.

    But wow, this post is harsh.

    Unlike you, I believe in sharing and cross posting and doing favors at least 25% of the time — it is the price we pay for friendships. It is, indeed, how I built my small, but very focused and very influential following. My friends are my fortune.

    Favors…this is what social networking is about. It’s social. These are real relationships, real people. They are not “fans” here to exploit — even though, ulitmately, that’s what those of us who make our living from our fans do on some level. (If you want me to share my carefully cultivated relationships with you, that’s an option — and you can pay me for that. It’s how I make a living, right? Wink wink.)

    But each and every virtual relationship I have in my network is a real connection with a real human being — someone I have met, someone who touched my life.

    You scratch my back, I scratch yours. It’s how we as humans advance, share and take care of each other. That’s what the much hyped sharing economy is all about.

    So, if it’s appropriate for my audience, I do share as a favor. And I always recommend that my clients do this too. Sometimes, if we agree to a reciprocal post, I share. If there is “something in it for me” I share. For example, I will receive access to a conference or VIP seats at a concert, if someone in my community has Cancer and it’s a fundraising benefit, or they have a very cool art project on Kickstarter.

    I try not to subject my audience — my friends — with your BS. Unless it’s appropriate. Unless it takes us further as friends. And if I do, please call me on it.

    PS — I tweeted a quote from your new book and Brian Solis retweeted it. Tag. You’re it.

  • gabydewilde says:

    If you want us to tweet this you should first tell us what these things are that you aren’t mentioning.

    wait….

  • Liz Gross says:

    So what did you say to the 14th email? Were they asking you to share something that wasn’t bullshit?

  • Jenni Reilly says:

    I agree that spandex aren’t for everyone, but I also believe that some of your audience ARE the people that are asking you to share their information. It might be annoying and down right rude (I personally wouldn’t do it) but letting them down easily or maybe sending them the link to a blog post on how to gain followers might be a more productive method. I’m curious to hear the reply that you must have received after saying “Hell no” to these people.

  • Jenni Reilly says:

    I agree that spandex aren’t for everyone, but I also believe that some of your audience ARE the people that are asking you to share their information. It might be annoying and down right rude (I personally wouldn’t do it) but letting them down easily or maybe sending them the link to a blog post on how to gain followers might be a more productive method. I’m curious to hear the reply that you must have received after saying “Hell no” to these people.

  • C.C. Chapman says:

    I like the new and grumpier version of Peter since becoming a dad. Not sure about the hair, but loving the blunt honesty.

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