It came from a PR person who was pitching me a new product – A shirt. Yes, a shirt. Nothing special about the shirt, it was simply a new style from a new designer. But here’s what gets me: The subject line of the email was: “Hi! Can I borrow your audience?”

(Insert blogging-car-skidding-to-a-halt sound here…)

Can you borrow my… Hold up… WHAT?

Can you “BORROW MY AUDIENCE?”

Are you serious?

OK. Not even taking into account the fact that my audience… IS AN AUDIENCE, and not, say, A SPATULA, no, you can’t “borrow my audience.”

Let’s understand something – My audience is the most important thing to me in my world, next to my wife and cat. I’ve spent YEARS and YEARS cultivating my audience. I’ve spent countless nights figuring out what my audience wants, how they want it, and what they’re going to want next. I’d take a bullet for my audience.

Without my audience, I have no business, I have no revenue, I have nothing.

My audience is my life. And you want to come over and “borrow it?” I don’t know you! Why don’t l let  Michael Milken “borrow” my AmEx while I’m at it? I’m sure it’ll be fine.

You can’t borrow my audience – But you CAN build one of your own. Here’s how:

1) Understand that having an audience is a privilege, not a right. I say this all the time, and I’m saying it again – It’s like wearing spandex. That too, is a privilege, not a right. We’re born as free people with certain unalienable rights, but guess what – Having a bunch of people who will listen to you and buy from you is NOT one of them. You have to EARN that. Once you accept that you don’t just “get” an audience, like Jewish kids get a Bar-Mitzvah when they turn 13, the quicker you’ll start to understand how to get one.

2) An audience is built over time, and on one simple premise: Give them what they want. Audiences today are mobile. They can go anywhere, anytime, by clicking a mouse or scrolling off your site. Want them to listen to you, or even more, buy from you? Give them what they want, how they want it. They on Facebook? Reach out to them there. They like emailing you? Email them back. And for God’s sake, do it from an email that’s real – Like yours. Not “donotreply@I’manidiot.com”

3) How do you find out where the audience is? ASK THEM. You have their information! Try this! Go to your fan page and ask the question – “Hey – How do you like to be contacted by us when we have a special for you?” Then actually read the answers and act accordingly! This isn’t rocket science.

4) Have content that your audience actually WANTS. You know what would happen if I let every journalist “borrow” my audience to promote their crap? I wouldn’t have an audience! Why? Because audiences like people to STAY ON TOPIC. Imagine going to see Bon Jovi, and Jon Bon Jovi comes out and talks about tax shelters all night, and never plays “Living on a Prayer.” Not really what I paid for. Stay on topic – Had you, dear PR person, pitched me on topic about something relevant to my audience, I might have talked about it!

5) Finally, for all that’s good and holy, know what I talk about. That you pitched me on fashion is like pitching Britney Spears on child-safety. The simple act of knowing your audience will get you 5x the good attention you’d otherwise not get. Simply do some homework. There’s no excuse not to.

My audience? No. You can’t borrow it. Go get your own.

In other news, I’m going to write an article about the coming age of jet travel.

Are you kidding me? The Instagram deal has NOTHING to do with “the age of mobile,” it has EVERYTHING to do with the age of CUSTOMER CHOICE.

Mobile isn’t new. You think that just because we now have the ability to take crappy sepia toned pictures of crap, 24 hours a day, that “all of a sudden, we want to be a mobile society?” We’ve ALWAYS wanted to be a mobile society.

The only difference is that now, for the first time, we have the technology to allow us to choose to that. Understand – We’ve been a mobile society since before the invention of the automobile.

Think back on the last fifteen interesting, post-worthy things that happened to you. I’ll bet 14 of them happened outside your home. Most of the world happens outside your home, along with most of the excitement. The stuff that happens in your home either isn’t worth posting, or isn’t acceptable to post. You rarely read “Brian totally found my G-spot tonight, off to sleep.” Well, maybe you do. I don’t know what kind of friends you have. But my point stands: The majority of stuff that is worth sharing, usually happens outside the home. And for the first time, we finally have the technology to keep up with it. We can finally, if we want to, choose to be truly mobile, and share life events as they happen, in real time, as opposed to waiting for the film to develop. Turns out, AT&T was only 20 years off, even if they did think that faxing would still be here, and even if they used Tom Selleck to do their voiceovers. (Which is an awesome trivia question, by the way)

So this Instagram deal isn’t a whole “eye into how the world is going to change to a mobile society.” We already have. We choose to share, and we choose to use companies that let us share, that take advantage of the technology that now finally exists that lets us share when we want to., as things happen. Primarily, that’s going to be outside, away from a wired connection. (Hence the reason I’ve never had high hopes for GetGlue. Really? Sharing that you’re watching Glee?) Where are you reading this? On an iPad on the subway? On your Android? The technology now lets us do whatever we want, wherever we are, whenever want to do it. Hence the reason I’m writing this on the roof of the Four Seasons Hong Kong. I could be in a subway, or in the mountains of Capri. IT DOESN’T MATTER. The technology is finally starting to get good enough to let us live our lives the way we’ve always wanted to, but haven’t been able to. We can CHOOSE to share things from 600 feet under a lake in Perth, Australia, because the technology finally lets us.

No one purchase will ever encapsulate “where society is headed.” By the time the purchase happens, we’re probably there already. All we can do is hope we made the right choices leading up to it.

Remember this: We’re a society built on wanting to share what we’re doing. Offer your customers a better way to do that, and the product will sell itself.

I volunteered to give it a shot, even after being told there was no turning back – i.e., my “Fan page” would disappear, and I couldn’t bring it back.

After asking a ton of questions (and to Facebook’s credit, the person who reached out to me answered every single one, no matter how basic or stupid they seemed,) I told Facebook to flip the switch.

Within 24 hours, http://facebook.com/petershankman redirected to my personal page, and my “Fan page” was no more.

A little over a month later, here’s what I’ve learned from that transformation.

Overall, I’m happy with the change. There’s no doubt that it’s easier to update one page vs. two, and it’s most definitely easier to update Facebook via mobile, which, lets be honest, is where a decent amount of content happens. Before the merger, I’d have to email photos to a specific email address and hope they made it – I couldn’t tag or add location until I got back to a laptop. So there’s no doubt that being able to fully utilize the Facebook Droid App for all that it’s made to do (tagging, location, and privacy) is a big bonus.

Positives:

1) Probably the most important, the merger to one page means I’m more likely to post more quality content. I never truly realized the value of the Facebook App on my Droid until my pages were merged. Because there was no support for Fan Pages (yes, you could email to a private address, but nothing like what you can do with the app – tagging, location, etc.) I was more than likely to take a photo and Tweet it out, or save it to post on my fan page if I remembered later or the next day. In other words, if I was away from my laptop when I wanted to share content, those on my “fan page” got the short end of the stick. With the merged page, I have over 50,000 subscribers (formerly fans) in addition to my “friends” who now can see my content in real time, tagged and geo-tagged, as long as I make sure the content is public. As someone whose mantra is “having an audience is a privilege, not a right,” I can’t stress enough the power of this change: Facebook has taken away all the previous barriers that crippled my fan page when I was mobile, and I can truly offer my audience the best content I have, as it happens. At an event and spot a celeb? I can post and tag. At the airport with four hours to kill and want to offer anyone who knows me and happens to be there access to the airline lounge as my guest? Can do it in a heartbeat. The ability to use the mobile apps to share content and choose what level of sharing I want is definitely the best result of the new merged format.

2) Truly “owning” privacy, (to the extent anyone actually can on Facebook,) means I’m more aware of everything I post. Huh? “Of course you’re aware of it, Peter, you’re posting it!” Not quite. Think about it: You post a photo or a joke to your personal page – You can do it without thinking – “It’s my personal page, I can do whatever I want.” Posting to a fan page? Same logic applies in a different format: “My fans are a step removed from my “friends,” I can only post “this type” of content.” It’s an easy rule from both sides, and it’s easy to get into a rut with it. But there’s the problem: We’re lured into thinking in only one of two ways – “personal” or “fan.” That gets boring fast, and prevents you from engaging your audience anywhere near your full potential. Because I have to decide for who I’m posting every time I post on the merged page, I’m more likely to really think about my content. Does this content really matter to my fans? Am I just posting to show off or to hear my own voice? Will this be relevant to people who have never met me personally? All these questions come into play with every post I make, whether a status update, photo, video, or link. And while you might be thinking that it’s a pain in the ass, in fact, it’s the opposite – It makes me ask if what I’m sharing is really worth my audience’s time. And that’s how we should always be thinking about our voice: Putting our audience’s needs before ours.

Negatives:

There’s really only one negative that stands out, and I’ve learned how to compensate for it. When your pages are merged, and you have both “friends” and “subscribers,” only friends can post on your wall. On a fan page, any fan could start a conversation. With subscribers, only confirmed friends can. When I first noticed this, within 12 hours of the changeover, I was mortified – I emailed and asked why, and the answer was an obvious one, to avoid spam posts. I get it, but I was still concerned that I was stifling my audience’s ability to talk to me – to reach out and start a conversation. Over the next week or so, I realized that if you focus on figuring out the best way to communicate with your audience, them not being able to post on your wall isn’t that important. I do hope Facebook changes their logic here and lets subscribers post like they could before as fans. Even if it means you have to scrub spam daily, I think it’s worth it. But until that happens, I’ve learned that as long as I give my subscribers the ability to comment on all my content I make public, then my audience doesn’t feel stifled. I also ask probing questions that people want to answer in the comments – Anything from asking about their evening plans to asking if anyone has great images of their last vacation.

To make up for the lack of wall interaction on the part of subscribers, it does mean I have to post a bit more – But that’s not a bad thing, if you post with your audience in mind. I also believe that Facebook will offer the option for subscribers to post on walls of “merged” pages soon enough – I don’t see a downside to it. They can already do it on fan pages, and Facebook’s spam algorithms are certainly decent enough. So I think that’s just a matter of time.

Is the merge right for every brand out there?

No. The fact is, there are tons of large companies who have several people who manage their online brand, or are too big to be associated with one person. Any large company comes to mind – A car company – Any national or international brand – You get the idea. They need to keep their “fan” pages as they are. They’re a true “Brand.”

I think the problem is that with the advent of Social Media, everyone thinks they’re a “brand.” And in some sense, they are. But in the sense of a “fan page,” Facebook is right in making this change. A “Brand” of a person, a celebrity, or the like, should be “them.” A “fan page” is a misnomer – It should be a page about them – One page, they can adjust to make public the content they want public, and private the content they want private. Much like in real life, if you think about it. And that’s smart. So for every brand? No. For most people/celebrities/public figures who have “fan pages?” Yes. It’s time to convert.

End result:

Am I happy I made the change? Yes. The ability to post all my content to one place and decide on the fly who gets to see it in real time is a lifesaver – and I’ve definitely noticed my interaction and engagement from subscribers is higher now than when they were just fans on the “fan page.” Remember this, too: I’ve always said that it’s only a matter of time until the line between our “personal” and “professional” brand goes away, and it’ll be up to us to choose what gets posted in our world. I think this is another step towards that happening for those who aren’t “corporations,” but rather, who live in that mixture between who they are, and the professional brand they’re trying to cultivate. Facebook’s merger option should help anyone in that space, and as long as we’re smart enough to realize we should be there, this is a benefit, no doubt.

Thoughts? Comments? As always, I want to hear them. Leave them below. And by the way – If you’re not a subscriber to me on Facebook, you can fix that here.

Example: In the 50s, you’d drive into a gas station, and four uniformed attendants would rush over, each handling a different chore, from checking your oil, to pumping your gas, to cleaning your windows, and other basic automobile tasks. It was simply what was done. Can you imagine that? Four guys, waiting for you to drive in, and actually running to service you? I was driving to Atlantic City last week to give a speech, and stopped in to get gas. Because New Jersey is one of the few states where it’s illegal for a driver to pump his own gas (anyone know the actual reason why? I don’t…) an attendant came over. While the gas was pumping, she actually squeegeed my front window clean, on her own, proactively! I was so shocked that I gave her a tip! I can’t remember that ever happening to me before. But in the 50s, it was standard. For countless reasons that are irrelevant to this story, standards have lowered. They’ve lowered by a lot. And with them, so have our expectations. Whether it be for a multimillion dollar corporate buy on which we sign off, or for a salad where all we ask is for the dressing to be on the side, our expectations have dropped along with the standards for customer service. The worst part, without question, is that they’ve dropped to levels well below “ok” or “fair” or “average.” Our typical expectation for a customer service transaction starts at “poor,” and if we’re lucky, ends at “fair.”

It’s simply what we’ve become as a society. And yet, wonderfully, that’s actually good news for all of us reading this post!

See, since we have such low expectations of customer service, (and I know I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating…) It’s so incredibly easy to blow each and every one of your customers’ minds, and shock them into 100% loyalty, every single time you’re given the chance! All you have to do is simply treat each customer one level above “crap.” Amazingly, you don’t even have to be anywhere near “great, “awesome,” or “outstanding” to be different than the norm.  To be thought of as “good,” we just need to treat our customers one level above the normal expectation of crap. That’s it. Anything we do that goes above and beyond “one level above crap,” is so rare, and so unexpected, that if you do that, you can rule the world.

With that said, imagine my surprise tonight when I got an email from John Korff, the President of Korff Enterprises, otherwise know as the guy who runs the company that puts on the wildly popular New York City Triathlon every summer. John’s been producing this race since the very beginning, well over ten years ago, when it was ever so small – Now, it’s one of the yearly crown jewels of the NYC sports world, right up there with the NYC Marathon, and as of this coming August, the NYC Ironman Triathlon.

At first, I assumed it was a form letter, since I’d been accepted into my 8th NYC Triathlon, coming up this July. (Why so many? Because I’m an idiot who never learns, but that’s not the point.)

I double-clicked to find an actual email, from John himself, congratulating me for getting in again this year, and thanking me for doing my eighth one!

I was still pretty sure it was a form letter – CRM software can easily know those things – But I still thought it was a nice touch. Either way, I happened to be sitting in front of my computer when it came in, so I dropped a reply back almost immediately to John, thanking him for the note, and letting him know that I was also doing the NYC Ironman the next month. Didn’t expect a reply, since I still kinda thought it was an auto-email.

Two minutes later – “Wow, Peter – Both! You know, we call those who do the NYC Triathlon then the Ironman the next month “Hudson Doublers!”

So it actually was him. At 6:55pm on a Tuesday night.

What made him email me? Was he looking for repeat “customers,” as it were? Those who’ve done his race more than once? If so, smart – Remember – it’s not cheap to race these races – Perhaps he realized that and wanted to let us know that our continued support of what he built hasn’t gone unnoticed. Perhaps he’s just that nice of a guy – Perhaps it was all planned out on a spreadsheet, and it was just my time to get that email?

It doesn’t matter. I’ve run a TON of races, all over the place, and this is the first time that any race director reached out to thank me, unprovoked, on his own. You can damn well bet I’m going to race his race every year, as long as my body will let me.

It’s those little things – What’s an email? It’s not a steak at an airport (not that there’s anything wrong with that, either) – But ironically, I think that’s the problem – That’s where the disconnect lies for the majority of businesses:

We’re tricked into believing that the best customer service can ONLY be achieved by these massive, over-the-top acts of grandeur – The airport steak – the “we’ll replace your car” – The types of customer service events that make the evening news and get blogged about.

THAT IS WRONG!

I offer you this: (shrunk, for your Tweeting ease:) The best acts of customer service are the tiny things that reinforce the customer’s loyalty. They can be done daily, usually without any cost, and can foster customer retention, increase customer satisfaction, and yes, even grow your customer base by increasing word of mouth, through social media and other platforms. In other words: If you focus on the little things, your company will benefit, customers and clients will increase, and most importantly, REVENUE WILL RISE.

Don’t stop trying to create that one “massive” customer service story that goes viral and winds up on CNN. Never stop trying to do that, because you never know when it might happen. BUT – Spend more time focusing on the little things – The “thank you” when the customer walks in. The unexpected “we’re glad you’re still with us” email. The phone call to your favorite customer, letting them know that you were reading some article, and it told you to think of your favorite customer then call them to thank them for being just that. (I LOVE this one, I’ve recommended it countless times.)

An old friend and colleague who used to be a journalist once told me this story. His first editor gave him one piece of advice: “Be brilliant at the basics.” He was right. Let’s focus on the basics first. You’ll be surprised how much of your marketing and PR your customers will do FOR you, once you master the basics, and come out one step above the norm.

As always, I’d love your thoughts below in the comments. Thanks for reading! :)

As I’ve mentioned a few times already, I finally bought an apartment in Manhattan. Years of renting have come to a close as I signed close to 1,453 documents over the course of an afternoon in exchange for two lock keys and one mailbox key. I’m a homeowner. Yes, it’s scary as hell, with each day bringing up more scariness excitement than the day before. But the one thing that keeps me smiling is this: Because I own, I can create. Or, in less dramatic terms, I can mold my new place to what I want it to be, all the fun geeky things I’d always dreamed of, but was never allowed to do in a rental building.

Examples I doubt I’ll do, but have thought about: (For those who are familiar with how my brain works, this shouldn’t come as much of a shock…)

• Digital Shower: A computerized shower that with a touch of a button knows who I am and the temperature and pressure I like my water.
• Retina/voice print scans instead of key-locks.
• HVAC unit that senses my body temperature and adjusts accordingly.
• Waterproof iPads…

You get the idea. Chances are, I won’t wind up doing any of those things, but because I own, I like knowing that if I ever hit the Mega-Millions lottery, I can.

And there sits today’s quagmire.

The one thing any new homeowner knows is that a contractor, someone who you hire to do any type of work in your new home, has to have the following qualifications:

• He has to be licensed.
• He has to be insured.
• He has to have knowledge of the job you want him to do.
• And a billion times more important than any of that, he has to come recommended to you by someone in a very, very small circle of people. A contractor hire rarely comes from a Google search listing, or (for those of us over 30) a Yellow Pages ad. A contractor has to come recommended by someone you trust implicitly. End of story. This is one of those times where the personal recommendation trumps anything else. If your best friend loves his new closet, or your office-mate for the past ten years can’t stop raving about his new kitchen, that matters universes more than an Yelp review by someone you don’t know, or all the Angie’s List recommendations in the world. Personal trust in this situation has mattered long before the Internet or Social Media, and it’ll matter long after. A contractor recommendation is one of the ultimate signs of trust, up there with letting a friend date your sister. If you recommend a contractor to someone, you’re putting your full reputation on the line.

Unfortunately, I’m beginning to get this strange feeling that everyone knows this but the majority of contractors. And sadly, I think this extends to a good number of situations where people put their reputation on the line recommending someone they know for anything – a job, a speaking gig, a consulting assignment, or even a dentist or doctor. And that is a horribly bad thing. Here’s why:

I posted on my Facebook page personal page, where my connections are based on people I know in person in some capacity or another. I asked for personal recommendations of contractors who had worked for my personal connections. Made sense, right?

I got about seven or so recommendations. I contacted three.

The first person I called scheduled a meeting with me for a Wednesday at 3pm. I gave him my address, he repeated it back to me. 3pm on the day of the meeting came and went. At 3:45, he called me, and said the following: “Sorry I’m late, I’m on <a street about four miles away> (In Manhattan, that’s like, eight towns over) I’ll be there by 4, 4:15 at the latest.” Keep in mind, first contact came 45 minutes late. I had a 4:30 meeting downtown, so I thanked him, but told him we’d have to reschedule Needless to say, I didn’t call him back. If he can’t make the first meeting on time (heck, not even on time, how about less than 30 minutes late?) how can I go into a potential working relationship with him involving my home when his actions before we even meet are what I now have as my reference point?

Not mine, but still as pointless.

Second person: Showed up 15 minutes late, but showed up. Did a lot of measuring, and actually listened to what I asked for (a simple shower redesign, the current shower from the previous owners doesn’t have a door – it’s one of those ultra-modern “half-glass doors” that are supposed to look cool, but in actuality, wind up soaking the floor every time the shower is used.) He took notes, and I filled out a one-page form with my contact info and email. He left, saying he’d be in touch by early next week. (This was Thursday.)

The following Thursday, after not hearing back, I emailed him asking if he was still interested. Four days later, on Monday, I got an email “Sorry, got slammed on another project, will have ideas for you by mid-week.”

I’m sure my simple shower redesign isn’t his biggest project, but by this point, I felt lower than low on his to-do list, and when I finally got his email the following Wednesday (which wasn’t complete, but was just two ideas, and 13 days after we first met,) I just let it go.

The third person had a similar story, which I won’t bore you with. Suffice it to say, it’s a over a month since I got the keys to my new place, and the shower is still more akin to a yard sprinkler than a closed-in shower with a door.

But this isn’t about my bathroom-turned-swampland. It’s bigger than that.

It’s almost 2012. By now, it should be obvious to us that our job is no longer to do our own PR. The days of telling other people how amazing we are and hoping they believe us are long dead and gone, and they’re never coming back. Today, where asking for a recommendation is as easy as typing 140 characters from whatever device we happen to be using at the time, our job is to “wow” our current customers (fans, followers, audience, etc.) so hard, that they go out of their way to do our PR for us – I.e., they recommend us to their friends. AND THEN TO DO THE SAME MOVING FORWARD.

The problem is, once we get recommended, if we then fail their friends, we’ve not only lost one potential new client (1), and we’ve not only lost the current client who recommended us in the first place (2), but we’ve lost any potential future recommendations from anyone within both circles. (10? 1000? 25,000? 500,000?) That’s the kind of formula that can bankrupt your business, big or small, end of story.

If we’re going to rely on our reputation to get us new clients, our reputation has to be AS GOOD, if not BETTER, than our most recent job, EVERY SINGLE TIME. And here’s why: I trust the people who recommended their contractors to me. If their recommendation fails, whether it be for a friend/employee/consultant of theirs, or (and this is where it hurts) a person within their own company, I doubt I’ll trust any future recommendation from them again. In other words, the initial recommendation someone gives pays it forward, for good or bad. If the recommendation turns out to be bad, it reflects on the recommender as well as the recommended. In this day and age, when we’re all connected in our digital villages, one bad recommendation is enough to ruin your reputation, your business, and even the value of your word.

My speaking and consulting gigs are probably 90% by recommendation from current and previous clients, and it’s a continuing pattern. If I suddenly stop caring, that cycle stops, and so does my income. Not good. Remember: This isn’t just about the person you recommended: This is about YOU, because it was your recommendation to begin with. In other words, we are who we recommend. And, as it usually does, it all comes down to customer service. Whether you’ve been recommended by someone’s trusted soul-mate, or through a recommendation engine like Yelp or Angie’s List, the end result is the same: We have to strive to impress, every single time, whether a 50-time repeat customer, or a new lead, with the hope that you’ll fulfill what they want.

That being said, I could really use a trusted recommendation for someone to install a new shower door.

Thoughts? Let me hear them below.