As I’ve mentioned a few times already, I finally bought an apartment in Manhattan. Years of renting have come to a close as I signed close to 1,453 documents over the course of an afternoon in exchange for two lock keys and one mailbox key. I’m a homeowner. Yes, it’s scary as hell, with each day bringing up more scariness excitement than the day before. But the one thing that keeps me smiling is this: Because I own, I can create. Or, in less dramatic terms, I can mold my new place to what I want it to be, all the fun geeky things I’d always dreamed of, but was never allowed to do in a rental building.

Examples I doubt I’ll do, but have thought about: (For those who are familiar with how my brain works, this shouldn’t come as much of a shock…)

• Digital Shower: A computerized shower that with a touch of a button knows who I am and the temperature and pressure I like my water.
• Retina/voice print scans instead of key-locks.
• HVAC unit that senses my body temperature and adjusts accordingly.
• Waterproof iPads…

You get the idea. Chances are, I won’t wind up doing any of those things, but because I own, I like knowing that if I ever hit the Mega-Millions lottery, I can.

And there sits today’s quagmire.

The one thing any new homeowner knows is that a contractor, someone who you hire to do any type of work in your new home, has to have the following qualifications:

• He has to be licensed.
• He has to be insured.
• He has to have knowledge of the job you want him to do.
• And a billion times more important than any of that, he has to come recommended to you by someone in a very, very small circle of people. A contractor hire rarely comes from a Google search listing, or (for those of us over 30) a Yellow Pages ad. A contractor has to come recommended by someone you trust implicitly. End of story. This is one of those times where the personal recommendation trumps anything else. If your best friend loves his new closet, or your office-mate for the past ten years can’t stop raving about his new kitchen, that matters universes more than an Yelp review by someone you don’t know, or all the Angie’s List recommendations in the world. Personal trust in this situation has mattered long before the Internet or Social Media, and it’ll matter long after. A contractor recommendation is one of the ultimate signs of trust, up there with letting a friend date your sister. If you recommend a contractor to someone, you’re putting your full reputation on the line.

Unfortunately, I’m beginning to get this strange feeling that everyone knows this but the majority of contractors. And sadly, I think this extends to a good number of situations where people put their reputation on the line recommending someone they know for anything – a job, a speaking gig, a consulting assignment, or even a dentist or doctor. And that is a horribly bad thing. Here’s why:

I posted on my Facebook page personal page, where my connections are based on people I know in person in some capacity or another. I asked for personal recommendations of contractors who had worked for my personal connections. Made sense, right?

I got about seven or so recommendations. I contacted three.

The first person I called scheduled a meeting with me for a Wednesday at 3pm. I gave him my address, he repeated it back to me. 3pm on the day of the meeting came and went. At 3:45, he called me, and said the following: “Sorry I’m late, I’m on <a street about four miles away> (In Manhattan, that’s like, eight towns over) I’ll be there by 4, 4:15 at the latest.” Keep in mind, first contact came 45 minutes late. I had a 4:30 meeting downtown, so I thanked him, but told him we’d have to reschedule Needless to say, I didn’t call him back. If he can’t make the first meeting on time (heck, not even on time, how about less than 30 minutes late?) how can I go into a potential working relationship with him involving my home when his actions before we even meet are what I now have as my reference point?

Not mine, but still as pointless.

Second person: Showed up 15 minutes late, but showed up. Did a lot of measuring, and actually listened to what I asked for (a simple shower redesign, the current shower from the previous owners doesn’t have a door – it’s one of those ultra-modern “half-glass doors” that are supposed to look cool, but in actuality, wind up soaking the floor every time the shower is used.) He took notes, and I filled out a one-page form with my contact info and email. He left, saying he’d be in touch by early next week. (This was Thursday.)

The following Thursday, after not hearing back, I emailed him asking if he was still interested. Four days later, on Monday, I got an email “Sorry, got slammed on another project, will have ideas for you by mid-week.”

I’m sure my simple shower redesign isn’t his biggest project, but by this point, I felt lower than low on his to-do list, and when I finally got his email the following Wednesday (which wasn’t complete, but was just two ideas, and 13 days after we first met,) I just let it go.

The third person had a similar story, which I won’t bore you with. Suffice it to say, it’s a over a month since I got the keys to my new place, and the shower is still more akin to a yard sprinkler than a closed-in shower with a door.

But this isn’t about my bathroom-turned-swampland. It’s bigger than that.

It’s almost 2012. By now, it should be obvious to us that our job is no longer to do our own PR. The days of telling other people how amazing we are and hoping they believe us are long dead and gone, and they’re never coming back. Today, where asking for a recommendation is as easy as typing 140 characters from whatever device we happen to be using at the time, our job is to “wow” our current customers (fans, followers, audience, etc.) so hard, that they go out of their way to do our PR for us – I.e., they recommend us to their friends. AND THEN TO DO THE SAME MOVING FORWARD.

The problem is, once we get recommended, if we then fail their friends, we’ve not only lost one potential new client (1), and we’ve not only lost the current client who recommended us in the first place (2), but we’ve lost any potential future recommendations from anyone within both circles. (10? 1000? 25,000? 500,000?) That’s the kind of formula that can bankrupt your business, big or small, end of story.

If we’re going to rely on our reputation to get us new clients, our reputation has to be AS GOOD, if not BETTER, than our most recent job, EVERY SINGLE TIME. And here’s why: I trust the people who recommended their contractors to me. If their recommendation fails, whether it be for a friend/employee/consultant of theirs, or (and this is where it hurts) a person within their own company, I doubt I’ll trust any future recommendation from them again. In other words, the initial recommendation someone gives pays it forward, for good or bad. If the recommendation turns out to be bad, it reflects on the recommender as well as the recommended. In this day and age, when we’re all connected in our digital villages, one bad recommendation is enough to ruin your reputation, your business, and even the value of your word.

My speaking and consulting gigs are probably 90% by recommendation from current and previous clients, and it’s a continuing pattern. If I suddenly stop caring, that cycle stops, and so does my income. Not good. Remember: This isn’t just about the person you recommended: This is about YOU, because it was your recommendation to begin with. In other words, we are who we recommend. And, as it usually does, it all comes down to customer service. Whether you’ve been recommended by someone’s trusted soul-mate, or through a recommendation engine like Yelp or Angie’s List, the end result is the same: We have to strive to impress, every single time, whether a 50-time repeat customer, or a new lead, with the hope that you’ll fulfill what they want.

That being said, I could really use a trusted recommendation for someone to install a new shower door.

Thoughts? Let me hear them below.

Before you read this post, read this one first. Chances are, if you’re gonna leave a snarky comment, it’s already been left there. Now then:

I’m writing this blog post on a flight back from Frankfurt, a connection to end a trip that started four days ago at Newark Airport, led me to Cape Town, South Africa, to be someone’s date to a birthday party of someone I’d never met, and included hundreds of moments I’ll remember forever. I did it without ever being out of contact with my clients, and as I fly home, I’ll arrive at 2pm on Monday afternoon, get a good night’s sleep in my own bed, and be fresh for an 8am Keynote tomorrow morning.

Yes, it was an AWESOME trip. No doubt at all. It was amazing, I saw things I’d only dreamed about, I ate fish and chips on a beach, drank wine more expensive than my apartment, and even met another random friend at the airline lounge in Frankfurt on the way back. So no, there’s no question that the past four days have been freaking AWESOME.

BUT – Here’s the thing – While I was on the trip, I got a bunch of tweet responses to my photos and posts with the hashtag #jealous. No one meant it in a snarky way, it was all good, and that hashtag inspired this post.

I talked to a few people who tweeted, and asked what in fact were they jealous of. They were jealous that I took the trip. As if they couldn’t. Of course they could! They just didn’t know it. And that part slays me.

See, I don’t care what you do, I don’t care how much money you make. If you’re reading this blog, you have access to the Internet, and you have enough money to own a computer or mobile device. That said, YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING I DO.You can pack it all up and start somewhere else, you can work from amazing places, you can do whatever you want to do, without worrying about being different. Here’s how. In the blog below, I’m going to debunk the top six reasons that people use when they don’t do something they really want to do. My hope is that you’ll read this and do something totally outside your comfort zone, get addicted, do it again, and make it part of your life.

Top six reasons you think you can’t jailbreak your life, and the rebuttals to prove you can:

1) I can’t do what you do. I don’t have the money.

Bull to the shit. You think people who have money know how to live? Please. They’re even more clueless than we are. And let’s understand: “Money is only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” –Martin Sheen in Wall Street. (Martin – not Charlie – the one who hasn’t imploded.)

The system is so screwed up right now, we can go anywhere for virtually nothing and live for even less. You can head to countless countries where the Internet is fast, and live in a gorgeous apartment for less than four hundred American per month. Want more? A thousand US a month will get you a three-bedroom in over 50 different countries where the governments are stable and a beach is close. Want to stay in America? For what you’re paying for your shitbox studio in NYC, Chicago, or LA, you could have a mortgage on a four-bedroom house in Iowa, Georgia, or Washington State, and still have money left over for a nice digital media room. If you’re really all about breaking free, the location shouldn’t matter. The end of the story is thus: ARE YOU HAPPY? Can you come to your home, sigh, and go “I belong here” If so, then screw what anyone else says, and live your freaking life. What do you care what other people think? Who cares where you are? One of the most successful clothing CEOs I know lives in freaking IDAHO. IDAHO! He lives there with his wife and multiple poodles, and while I’m bitching about the 1 train being delayed because of track work, he’s skiing down a mountain to his freaking office.

You don’t need money! Do you have any idea how many economy class “back of the bus” flights I’ve taken in my life? Enough to circle the globe and back. It’s not all about BusinessFirst and Champagne! I hate Champagne, anyway. It’s about getting from point A to point B to continue living your life. How you get here is bullshit, and doesn’t matter. The richest people I know have no problem whatsoever with flying in coach to get where they’re going. This is the one time where it’s not about the journey, it actually IS about the destination. Get there however you get there. Economy class. Hitchhiking – A damn floating car door from Cuba. It doesn’t matter. Just get there, and live your life once you arrive.

To take it a step further, think about it – Want to take a week and work from somewhere else, just to prove it can be done? What’s a flight to the other side of the country? A few hundred bucks? Give up Starbucks and dinners out for two weeks – Boom. There’s your few hundred bucks. Do it for two months, and you’ve got enough to head to Phuket, Thailand for a month. Check out Daily Worth for tons more tips like that, and soon, you’re on your way. Couchsurf or hang with friends once you get there, and spend the week working from the beach, or the woods, or the mountains. There. Simple enough for you? It’s really not harder than that! I have a few good friends who have made careers out of doing it.

2) I can’t do what you do because I have a 9-5 job where people pay me to be at an office.

This is hands down, the number one reason those who’ve tweeted “#jealous” give me when I ask them why they aren’t doing this. And I get it. You have a job. I understand. I have a job too. I’m not sitting here being a douche and saying “Well, just quit.” The majority of us can’t just quit their jobs. We have bills, we have families, we have lives that we can’t just uproot for the hell of it. Or at least, that’s how it seems. We might not just able to flat out “quit” – But we can make changes. Significant changes. Let’s break that down:

What’s the purpose of your job to you?

Is it to make money? Unless your job requires physical daily movement of things from point A to point B, you can make money from anywhere. Think about it – What do you do? PR? Marketing? Advertising? Banking? Consulting? Do you work for someone else? An agency? Chances are, where you work is at a company started by someone else. And chances are, you could do the same thing your boss does, perhaps on a smaller level at first. But you can. So what are you waiting for? Want to do it? Then do it. Stop complaining about it, and just do it! Hell, talk to your boss and see if you can open the new Phuket, Thailand office. When I started my first agency out of my apartment with one computer and one cat, I did so with the following tagline: If this fails, I’ll just go and get another job. And it’s still true. If this doesn’t work, I’ll simply go and do something else.

I'm king of the world! And thinner!

I mention “daily” above because part of my job (speaking) requires me being physically present for speeches and keynotes several times a month, if not a week. OK, great – That’s what airplanes are for. As I fly back to New York today, I know I have a keynote speech tomorrow morning. I’ll make it without a problem. Flight schedules are such nowadays that geography is a secondary concern. Could I live in South Africa and keep my schedule of speaking, which is 80% in the US? Probably, but it’d be a true pain in the ass. But it’s a big world. Who says you only have to do what you do in the US? Who says that over the course of two years, I couldn’t shift my focus to the EU, or South America, or even Asia, like my friend Jesse has done? He’s been in Asia for years, and thanks to the Internet, is one of the most PR/Marketing savvy people I’ve ever met. He’s at the forefront of PR and Internet Marketing and PR in Asia, and he hasn’t been to the US in years. Just because you live in the US now, doesn’t mean the US is the end all and be all of civilization.

I know people who live one place, usually a warm, tropical place, and come to NYC once a month for three days chock-full of face-to-face meetings. Then they go back to their paradise. What are they really giving up by doing that? No random Wednesday night networking events? Bummer. Life goes on. Nothing usually gets done with a martini in your hand at those events anyway. Networking is something you do 24/7 in your life. It’s not tied to one city or another.

I’ve said this tons of times: IT’S NOT ABOUT GEOGRAPHY ANYMORE.

Is your job to help people and make the world a better place? Great. Get a MacBook Air and an unlimited wireless plan. Then go continue to do that from anywhere. EMBRACE THE TECHNOLOGY! Go volunteer somewhere while servicing your clients for a few hours before you go to bed at night, which is their AM anyway. BTW – mobile communication works so much better overseas than it does in the states.

Everyone wins.

Is your job to be somewhere in a physical place, five out of seven days a week? If you love your job, I mean truly love your job, love the people with whom you work, love your office, love your commute, then hey, you know what? RESPECT. You’ve got it. Enjoy it, baby. You’re done with this blog post, and I give you mad, mad props. For real.

3) My friends would never understand.

Are you kidding me? That’s a reason? I’ll say what an old skydiver told me when I told him my friends didn’t understand why I skydived. He said simply “If you can’t change the people around you, it’s time to change the people around you.” End of story. If you’re being hindered from living the life you want because you’re afraid of what other people are going to say if you do, then you’ve got much bigger problems than achieving your goals.

4) I have a wife and kids.

So do lots of people who travel all around the world and change their lives. My good friend Leigh spent the past five years traveling around the world with her husband and newborn. Now that the kid is six or something, they’ve settled down in Salta, Argentina, where they’re buying a house. The kid goes to public school, and guess what – is already bilingual! How many of our kids are bilingual by six years old? In Europe, almost everyone you meet is bi or trilingual! The problem here is that English is spoken in all of America, and America is a damn big country. Overseas, you move thirty miles and it’s a different base language. And that’s cool.

5) I’m scared. I have direct deposit, and even though I hate my job, at least that’s something.

This is actually a valid reason. I will never, ever begrudge someone their fear. If what you’re doing works for you, that’s fine, but if you’re jealous, then you got a problem. See, being happy and being jealous don’t mesh. So it usually comes down to you being angry about your fear. But here’s the thing: Fear keeps us healthy. Fear keeps us alive. It’s what got us through the age of mountain lions and other big-ass animals that could have us for tea. But here’s the thing – Fear is built-in because we used to have no other options. Wanted to eat? You had to face your fear and kill something. Back in the age of the stone, Dean and Deluca didn’t exist. Fear now exists primarily to hold us back. There are still a few moments when fear is useful – “don’t walk down that dark alley, something doesn’t seem right.” Those are instincts we have for a reason. But nowadays, we confuse those life-saving instincts with the lack of fire under our ass all the time.

Fear is good. But never let it hold you back. Thrive on it. Worried that you won’t make as much money? Work harder. The fact that you’re doing it from a beach next to your home that costs 1/4th of what you were paying in the city should be helpful in getting over that initial fear.

6) I don’t have the time.

Yes you do. No matter from where you work, you have the time. Lots of presentations to give? Write them on the plane. Lots of emails to answer? Answer them on the plane. Gotta be on a call? Skype from your hotel room. Meetings to attend? Attend them virtually, from the beach.

Countless studies have shown that people are actually more productive when they’re allowed to work from where they want, as opposed to having to work in a confined space.

If you really want to make more time to do the things you “have” to do, thus allowing you to do more of the things you “want” to do, you need to do a few things differently. One of them has to be getting up earlier, but that’s a different post entirely, because in the end, if you want to change your life, you’re going to find the time.

End result: We all need to work. We all need to make money. With the exception of trust fund babies, we all gotta find a way to make some cash and live our lives. Some people just choose to do it a different way than others. Some of us choose to work for a living, and some people choose to incorporate work into living. For the past 16 years, I’ve worked harder than almost every person I know, yet I’ve never felt like I’ve worked a day in my life.

Thoughts? Comments? Agree? Disagree? I want to hear it below. And if you like what you read, or think I’m completely full of shit, click the FB and Twitter buttons below and let the world know.

We don’t want to overcharge, lest we don’t get the client/gig/project, but then, we don’t want to undercharge, hating ourselves while we’re doing it, knowing that the client would have easily paid more. I used to err on the side of undercharging, and I hated myself for it. I still do, sometimes.

It’s frustrating. I’ve seen it happen out of business situations, as well – Paying six dollars for that trinket in Thailand, knowing that I probably could have negotiated my way down to four. It’s really a pain in the ass, huh?

So how do you make sure to get the right price, whether you’re selling your services, or buying a trinket in some exotic foreign land?

Here are my suggestions for making sure you get paid (or pay) what you’re (it’s) worth:

1) First and foremost: You can always come down in price. You can NEVER go up. If the client wants you, they’ll counter with their offer. In many cultures, the first offer is the opening to let you know that they’re interested – If you accept it, you’re looked way, way down upon. You can always come down from your initial price quote – but I don’t remember the last time you could go up: “OK, We accept your $15,000 keynote fee.” “Yeah, well, I’d now like to charge you $20,000.” Not gonna happen. You can always come down. You can never go back up.

2) How much is your time worth? I’m not going to get into my rant of a few months ago as to why free is not the same as being taken advantage of, but I’ll just say this: How much is your time worth? Sit down and figure it out. Come up with your budget, and if you want to find out how much your time is worth, simply divide your budget by the number of hours you want to work. That’s your starting/break-even point. From then, simply figure out how much more you want to make to decide your profit-level. This takes constant re-jiggering, and changes client by client. But it’s a good start.

3) Sometimes, taking a job for a little less will actually net you a lot more. If I’m keynoting a conference that has tons of other people who choose keynotes for conferences, you know that I’m going to charge a bit less. Why? Because I want to guarantee I get the gig, and then wow 300/500/1000 potential other gig-hiring people with my greatness on stage. This has worked for me countless times – It’s an awesome way to make sure you get the gig – But don’t undercharge by too much. Ten percent will usually do it. And the calculation is easy: If you make enough money on the gigs you pick up from discounting by 10%, there’s your calculation. It’s a win.

4) Finally, you’re worth as much as you believe yourself to be worth. Many friends have asked me how I made the leap from speaking for free to getting paid to do it. Simple: I asked to be paid. Granted, I started out at a very small percentage of what I make now, but you’ve gotta start somewhere. Simply ask. You’d be amazed what comes from asking. Just starting to make that leap? Try this:

“Hey, can you speak at our seminar next month? You’d be perfect for us!”
“Thanks so much for asking, I’d love to! My speaking fee is $1,000. Since it’s in town, there’s no need to include travel or any other costs, so it’d be a flat $1k.”
“Well, I don’t know if we can afford that, I’d have to ask the board.”
“OK, you ask them – I’ll be here – Hope we can make this work. Thanks again for thinking of me!”

Yes, it’s scary to do. But it’s necessary, and more often than not, they’re going to come back to you with a “Yes.”

Look at it this way: Chances are, someone is making money from the conference at which you’ve been asked to speak. If that’s the case, doesn’t it seem a bit unfair that it’s not you, since you’re the one people are paying to see?

Any other tips for getting paid what you’re worth? Leave them in the comments for all to see!

Written on a Macbook Air on the MTA N Downtown local train, between 57th Street and 8th Street. Written in Ommwriter, and copied to WordPress.

Here are five easy ways to help increase that hustle.

1) Talk to three people you haven’t spoken to in a while – Hint – Facebook makes it super easy. Simply look to the right of any page, and you’ll see this:

Simply say hi to three people in your network. Doing this every day guarantees that you’re talking to your entire network, and not wasting those connections. It also promotes top of mind presence, which makes people think of you when they need something – which leads to more work for you, which translates into more revenue – i.e., upping your game.

2) Get off your ass. Get up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow and go outside. Run around the block. Walk if you’ve never run. Go grab your bike out of the garage, dust it off, and ride it for 30 minutes. I don’t need to go into the obvious health benefits of doing this, but here’s something you may not know – A 30 minute workout can boost your endorphins and dopamine levels (the happy chemicals in your body) for up to six hours. That’s six hours of happy-you at work. Result? You do more, manage your time better, and are in a better mood. People respond to that – It ups your game.

3) Go drop some money on something cool. Yes, we’re all taught to save. But never underestimate the game-upping power the hot new phone, or camera, or laptop has for you and your business. Just the simple act of owning it helps – You know how good you felt when you got your new laptop? Same thing. You want to use it more. So you will. More work = game upped.

4) Change the scenery. Work from somewhere else tomorrow. A different block, a different city, a different country. Do what’s 1% out of your comfort zone. If you’re comfortable working from Starbucks, head to the park. My favorite? Go find an airport, and park as close to it as you can without getting arrested – so you’re just outside the runway and in the flight path. Then sit on the hood of your car and work wirelessly on your laptop, making sure to look up every three minutes and watch these multi-ton behemoths fly overhead, just inches from your skull. Loud engines up your game.

5) Take on a pro-bono client. Nothing like doing some good to up your game. Not only will you feel good, but people notice people who volunteer for good things. You’ll wind up helping a ton of people, and as important, your name will get out there to people who matter even more so. Game: Upped.

There are tons of other ways to up your hustle, thereby upping your game. What’s your favorite? Leave it in the comments.

Welcome to Help A Reporter: The Sequel. Help A Reporter, at www.helpareporter.com is live, and already making waves. Check out the NY Times from this morning, Marketing Sherpa from this morning, and the tons of blogs and Tweets about it.

When we do it right, I REALLY love this industry.

Two quick photos: First one from my arrival at the Island Hotel in Newport Beach a few days ago. I love it when hotels take the time to figure out what your addictions are, then make sure they’re taken care of. (And my addictions are chips and salsa and guac, not Tequila. (although Tequila is probably a close second…)

Finally, I’m of the belief that you can find beauty everywhere, if you just take a second and look for it. This photo was from my hotel last night, as I was walking out of my room to head to a dinner.

I’m beginning to think that it’s really just about noticing it’s there. Beauty exists everywhere.

Happy Friday.