Am I the only weirdo who thinks this way? What “weird” things can you do in your company that might seem insane, but can cut costs, improve revenues, and give customers another road to happy? Brainstorm below.

I used to have this totally insane, very loud friend, who’d call me up on random weekdays and be all like, “I don’t want to go to work today. Let’s go to a spa.” I usually turned her down, but the one time I went, I remember the spa having a sign that’s stuck with me to this day. It said simply…

“Embrace the Silence.”

The concept was simple. You were in a spa. You were waiting for your treatment, or just got out of one. You were relaxed. It was quiet. There was no need to talk, or jump on your mobile, or pull out your laptop. It was peaceful.

Silence reigned.

With each of us having more and more ways to communicate, perhaps it’s time we went back to that sign’s true meaning. Below are four times when you might want to just embrace the silence. Or, to put it more directly, here’s a list of times when you should just shut the hell up.

Four Times It’s Totally Appropriate To Shut the Hell Up

1) When meeting someone for the first time: It’s no secret that we all live to impress: We like to let people know how great we are the moment we see them. The thing is, if you play all your greatest hits too soon, you don’t have anything left over to pull out when you really need it. My suggestion? When you meet someone for the first time, shut up. Let THEM talk. You can learn so much about a person if you just stop talking and start listening. You learn all the things you can use – anything you have in common with them, for instance, that you can pull out whenever you need a quick boost. It’s simple: If you meet someone, let them talk ninety words to your every ten.

2) When your boss’s boss is congratulating you. It’s nice to get recognition, but it’s also a wonderful time to make yourself even more beloved than you already are. When your boss’s boss is talking to you, congratulating you, or the like, say thank you, but then, mention the real hero of the day – Your boss. By congratulating your boss and letting his (or her) boss think that he (or she) is the real hero, you’re cementing your loyalty to your boss. When your boss moves up (and he (or she) will,) you’ll be coming along for the ride.

3) While you’re not necessarily shutting up completely in this example, comparatively, you’re like a mouse, when you’re behind the moron who’s screaming and pulling his “Don’t you know who I am” routine at the airport check-in counter, or the club, or the restaurant, etc. Essentially, here’s how it goes: You wait for him to finish (and most probably get denied.) Then you walk up, smile at the gate agent/bouncer, maitre ‘d, etc. and pull the soft-voice “I can’t imagine how you do your job as well as you do,surrounded by such mean people.” End result: You wind up with the upgrade the moron in front of you so badly wanted.

4) When someone else is being ridiculously loud on their mobile phone in a public place. You’re probably thinking I’m crazy with this one – Why would you shut up, as opposed to telling them off? In some cases, you can tell them off – It depends on what they’re saying. Listen to them first. Is it a business or personal call? If person, what kind? Boring stuff? Stuff about their nail salon appointment? By all means, go over and smack them silly. But… If it’s a business call, or a personal call or some importance, don’t tell them to stop talking, do what I do: Turn on the voice recorder (or better, the video recorder) of your phone or laptop. Start taking notes. Business call? Are they mentioning names? Remember – Google is your friend. With nothing more than Google, a few key names, and their own stupidity, you can probably gain a lot of information that could be quite valuable, if you know what to do with it. Or, I guess you could just tell them to shut up.

What other times are appropriate to just shut up? Let me know in the comments.

The fun part about grabbing someone else’s ID (other than the fact that I can ask them what they think of the keynote they’re about to hear and they don’t realize that they’re talking to him) is that I get to hear unfiltered information about what scares these people – what these small business owners think about social media – and more often than not, why they believe social media to be complete bullshit, and not worth their time.

Why is that important ? It’s important because I can tailor my speech to those specific people who don’t believe that they’re going to get anything out of what I’m saying. The ones who’ve gone to countless speeches like these in the past – Those radio-sponsored “business breakfasts” where they listen to some full-of-it “social media guru” talk about the coolness of social media and how it can save them.

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. NO CEO THINKS THAT “COOL” TRUMPS “REVENUE,” AND YOU SHOULDN’T EITHER. The speakers who get on stage and tell you how “cool” social media is and how is good for only “your brand” are full of it. Below, I’m going to give you seven ways that your small business can use social media TO GENERATE REVENUE, TODAY. Retweet this. Repost this. Link to it. Feel free. Why? Because I’m simply sick to death of these snake oil salesmen posing as “social media gurus,” charging you thousands of dollars to listen to them tell you how they can save you. BULLSHIT.

Remember HARO? I started HARO. It was a social media company that generated over a million dollars a year in actual revenue, and when I sold it, I sold it on the merits of what it DID, not some “I make my money by talking about social media” crap.

TWEET THIS: The biggest problem with Social Media is that too many people talk about it and not enough people ACTUALLY USE IT TO GENERATE REVENUE.

So let’s use it. The following are tips for small to mid-size businesses – They’re the kind of stuff companies ask me for all the time. I charge for this stuff. But rather than do that today, I’m giving it away below. Enjoy it. Use it Call it your own if you want. I won’t know. (But Karma will.) The main reason I’m doing it is because I’m sick of these charlatans saying they have all the answers, and they’ve never done one bit of real social media in their lives. That goes for those heads of PR and marketing firms who’ve told their clients that they can handle their “social media for them” and don’t have the first clue as to how to do it.

Marketing in the form of social media, to drive sales and generate revenue, makes you skilled in social media. “Having a Facebook Account” does not. “Speaking about Twitter” does not. Saying you have “Influence” does not. Having “guru,” “expert” or “rock star” in your name, ID, or business card, most certainly does not. Stop believing the charlatans who show you 100 twitter followers and expect you to believe that they can cure cancer. They’re angering the universe. Trust me. The universe will kill them soon. Believe in what works, and nothing else.

IF YOU’RE A RESTAURANT: Get to know tools like Foursquare and Facebook Places. Teach each server who works for you to recognize the signs of someone who uses Foursquare, Places, or the like: They keep their device on the table, they talk about “checking in.” Have those servers ask their customers if they use those location based games. If they do, have the servers offer a free drink or appetizer. Explain what it means to be a “mayor,” and why that’s beneficial to your establishment. Explain to them why they should help your customers use these technologies. Most importantly, explain to your servers that THEY represent your establishment, and without them, your restaurant is history, as is their job. The goal is to get customers to come back, bring friends, and spend more money. IT’S NOT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, IT’S ABOUT GROWING YOUR RESTAURANT.

IF YOU’RE A LANDSCAPING BUSINESS: Photos and videos are your friends. Why do people hire you? They hire you because they have EGOS. Lets face it – EGOS SELL. If I want my property to look better than the Kleinman’s property, I hire the best landscaper. That’s YOU. Want to use social media to GET MORE CLIENTS and make more money? Go out and buy a good digital camera/video camera. Check out the Canon G11 – I use it and love it. Then learn to use it, and shoot what you’ve done! So many social media hucksters have NOTHING to back up what they’ve done – YOU DO! You have your clients and your work! Made an amazing lawn? Shoot it! Made some kind of waterfall, the type that I can only imagine because I live on the 30th floor of a high-rise in NYC? Video it! Post it on Vimeo.com, and let people see it! That’s REAL social media because you’ve done it and are sharing it! That’s truth. Go forth and spread it, most awesome landscaper! IT’S NOT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, IT’S ABOUT SHOWING THINGS YOU’VE DONE THAT WILL BRING NEW PAYING CLIENTS.

IF YOU’RE AN ACCOUNTANT/FINANCIAL PLANNER: OMG, how boring! Right? That’s what most people say when they hear that you work as an account or financial planner. OK, that may be true for some of you. But if you’re an accountant or financial planner who has the most basic knowledge of social media and how it relates to your industry, then not so much. How about starting a basic twitter feed that you populate every day with the top two stories about your industry? “What will this five minutes out of my day possibly do,” you ask! Well, if you’re an accountant/financial planner trying to grow your business and get new customers, check this out: You post one or two stories per day about your industry – perhaps they’re the stories you find interesting and think others might find interesting – you post them, and what happens – people find them, and retweet them – repost them on Facebook – All of sudden, you’re a CURATOR! You’re one of those people who knows about the trends before they become trends! What happens then? The media starts following you, and you get called on by them, get quoted in the paper, on TV, on the radio, and online on a regular basis, and how about that, new people start calling you out of the blue, asking if they can be your clients – Where do you think they came from? From the media! And where did the media come from? From your brilliant use of social media. To quote the chief of police from the movie Casablanca, “I’m shocked, shocked to find that there’s gambling going on in here!” Face it – This isn’t rocket science!! You’re simply employing common sense –something the charlatans won’t tell you actually works – because it takes away from their revenue. Screw them. Make their revenue yours. IT’S NOT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA: IT’S ABOUT USING THESE TOOLS TO PROVE YOU KNOW MORE THAN YOUR COMPETITORS AND ARE BETTER THAN THEM AND DESERVE NEW CLIENT BUSINESS.

IF YOU’RE A REALTOR: As someone who’s currently in contract for an apartment in New York City, this really hits close to home. If you’re a realtor, social media is SCREAMING for you to pay attention. What are you selling? Location, image, and the like. Come on! You should have a digital camera with video inserted under your skin! Your industry was BORN for social media! A new property comes on the market? Get video of the best parts of it – But not from the traditional boring “front of property,” “back of property,” kitchen view” way. Figure out cool ways to do it! Current family got a swingset in the back? Shoot video of the house from the swingset – It’s different, and anyone with kids will appreciate it. Selling mostly to families with school-age kids? Take the flipcam, duct-tape it to the grill of your car, and SHOW, IN REAL TIME, how close the best school in the district is to the house! Why? Because no one else is doing it, and that’s something different! And let’s face it, realtor – if you’re using social media, you’re doing it to make a good commission. So take these ideas and build on them. Why? Because they’ll sell properties. And in the end, those properties will make you a commission. And I gonna go old school here – What are you gonna do with your commission? “I was going to take my commission, and buy Ferris a car.” Use social media, do it in a new and exciting way, make a commission from it, and buy Ferris a car! IT’S NOT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, IT’S ABOUT SHOWING THROUGH THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY THAT YOU’RE GOING TO HELP SELL OR BUY A HOME FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS IT.

IF YOU’RE A MOVING COMPANY: If you’re a moving company, then welcome to social media. Last time I moved, I went online to ask for recommendations for good moving companies. You know what I got? Companies who didn’t screw my friends, and that was it. Forget about GOOD moving companies, I got moving companies similar to cell-phone companies – recommendations to the companies who sucked the LEAST. Really? Is that how you want to help grow your industry? By being thought of as the company that sucks the least? Please. How about this: You offer your next client 15% off the cost of their move if they allow you to film the entire move. How do you do that? You go to Amazon and buy three GoPro helmet cams, the same kind I use when I fall from perfectly good airplanes. Then you ask a few of your best movers to wear them the next move they do. They put them on their heads, and everything they do, the gopro films. Because you’re an awesome moving company, the gopro films your best movers being oh-so-careful with the client’s property. When the move is done, you’ve got what, two hours of video of stuff being moved. OK. Great. That’s boring as hell. BUT – What if you take that film, speed it up so that the entire video is sixty seconds in length, then you add a fun soundtrack to it (Think the Benny Hill TV Show theme) and that becomes the first thing people see when they hit your website? They get funny yet real video of a real person’s belongings being taken care of, and you get… wait for it…. Wait for it…. A new client. How about that? You’ve just used social media to land countless new clients. Cost: About $150 for the GoPro. (And you thought GoPros were just for skydivers and mountain bikers.) IT’S NOT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, IT’S ABOUT PROVING THAT WHEN A POTENTIAL CLIENT NEEDS YOU, YOU CAN BACK UP YOUR CLAIMS WITH REAL-WORLD EXAMPLES THAT WIL TURN POTENTIAL CLIENTS INTO REAL CLIENTS.

IF YOU’RE A SEAMSTRESS WHO WORKS WITH FABRIC: This one is awesome. So I get an email out of the blue, from someone who says “Hey, I’ve been following your blog because I get the HARO, and I’m a seamstress who has started an event company that makes events out of fabric – If a company wants to hold an event, we’ll produce it.” (Email me if you want their info.) I was like, “OK, that’s weird, but whatever,” until I noticed they had an attachment to the email. Normally, I hate attachments, but since it was a .jpeg, I was ok with it – I opened it – It was my logo, on a pair of running shorts. Think about this for a second: This company was smart enough to realize that I was an exercise geek, ran all the time, yet was still involved in social media. So they made me running shorts with my blog logo on them. What does that tell you? That this Seamstress/Fabric company went out of their way to identify not only me, but what I’d recognize – Why aren’t you doing this? Why isn’t your company assigning one person to say “hey, this is a way to get noticed and perhaps generate revenue? It is. I can attest to that. I’ve given this company business already. IT’S NOT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, IT’S ABOUT TAKING THE MOST RANDOM, NON-SOCIAL-MEDIA THING (LIKE FABIRC) AND FIGURING OUT A WAY TO TIE IT IN, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WORKS!)

IF YOU’RE A MARKETING/PR FIRM: OK, if you’re a marketing firm, do I really need to make this any clearer? If you’re a company that does any of what I’ve talked about in the past three pages, don’t you think you can figure something out that’s in some way related to what I’ve talked about, and figure out a way to connect what’s here to what you do? I’m sure you can. Because come on, if you can’t, do you really think it’s ok to call yourself a marketing firm? IT’S NOT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA. IT’S ABOUT BEING SMARTER AND REALIZING THAT SOCIAL MEDIA IS SIMPLY ANOTHER MARKETING CHANNEL TO WHICH YOU SHOULD BE LEADING YOUR CLIENTS.

OK. There you go. Seven ways to grow your small business using social media. Didn’t cost you a penny, you didn’t have to go to some BS breakfast, and you didn’t have to waste your time. So the rest of it is up to you. Will you use what I gave you here, or will you just spend your money and hire someone with no reputation because “it’s easier?” It’s your call.

Thanks for reading.

We don’t want to overcharge, lest we don’t get the client/gig/project, but then, we don’t want to undercharge, hating ourselves while we’re doing it, knowing that the client would have easily paid more. I used to err on the side of undercharging, and I hated myself for it. I still do, sometimes.

It’s frustrating. I’ve seen it happen out of business situations, as well – Paying six dollars for that trinket in Thailand, knowing that I probably could have negotiated my way down to four. It’s really a pain in the ass, huh?

So how do you make sure to get the right price, whether you’re selling your services, or buying a trinket in some exotic foreign land?

Here are my suggestions for making sure you get paid (or pay) what you’re (it’s) worth:

1) First and foremost: You can always come down in price. You can NEVER go up. If the client wants you, they’ll counter with their offer. In many cultures, the first offer is the opening to let you know that they’re interested – If you accept it, you’re looked way, way down upon. You can always come down from your initial price quote – but I don’t remember the last time you could go up: “OK, We accept your $15,000 keynote fee.” “Yeah, well, I’d now like to charge you $20,000.” Not gonna happen. You can always come down. You can never go back up.

2) How much is your time worth? I’m not going to get into my rant of a few months ago as to why free is not the same as being taken advantage of, but I’ll just say this: How much is your time worth? Sit down and figure it out. Come up with your budget, and if you want to find out how much your time is worth, simply divide your budget by the number of hours you want to work. That’s your starting/break-even point. From then, simply figure out how much more you want to make to decide your profit-level. This takes constant re-jiggering, and changes client by client. But it’s a good start.

3) Sometimes, taking a job for a little less will actually net you a lot more. If I’m keynoting a conference that has tons of other people who choose keynotes for conferences, you know that I’m going to charge a bit less. Why? Because I want to guarantee I get the gig, and then wow 300/500/1000 potential other gig-hiring people with my greatness on stage. This has worked for me countless times – It’s an awesome way to make sure you get the gig – But don’t undercharge by too much. Ten percent will usually do it. And the calculation is easy: If you make enough money on the gigs you pick up from discounting by 10%, there’s your calculation. It’s a win.

4) Finally, you’re worth as much as you believe yourself to be worth. Many friends have asked me how I made the leap from speaking for free to getting paid to do it. Simple: I asked to be paid. Granted, I started out at a very small percentage of what I make now, but you’ve gotta start somewhere. Simply ask. You’d be amazed what comes from asking. Just starting to make that leap? Try this:

“Hey, can you speak at our seminar next month? You’d be perfect for us!”
“Thanks so much for asking, I’d love to! My speaking fee is $1,000. Since it’s in town, there’s no need to include travel or any other costs, so it’d be a flat $1k.”
“Well, I don’t know if we can afford that, I’d have to ask the board.”
“OK, you ask them – I’ll be here – Hope we can make this work. Thanks again for thinking of me!”

Yes, it’s scary to do. But it’s necessary, and more often than not, they’re going to come back to you with a “Yes.”

Look at it this way: Chances are, someone is making money from the conference at which you’ve been asked to speak. If that’s the case, doesn’t it seem a bit unfair that it’s not you, since you’re the one people are paying to see?

Any other tips for getting paid what you’re worth? Leave them in the comments for all to see!

Written on a Macbook Air on the MTA N Downtown local train, between 57th Street and 8th Street. Written in Ommwriter, and copied to WordPress.

On the Sixth Day of Social Christmas, my followers gave to me, six foursquare checkins, FIVE… ANGRY… BIRDS!! Four Pete Cashmore Tweets (sigh), three HARO emails, two Macbook Airs, and a Klout Score of Eighty-Three.

On the Seventh Day of Social Christmas, my followers gave to me, seven “_____ dailies are out,” six foursquare checkins, FIVE… ANGRY… BIRDS!! Four Pete Cashmore Tweets (sigh), three HARO emails, two Macbook Airs, and a Klout Score of Eighty-Three.

On the Eighth Day of Social Christmas, my followers gave to me, eight Facebook Updates, seven “_____ dailies are out,” six foursquare checkins, FIVE… ANGRY… BIRDS!! Four Pete Cashmore Tweets (sigh), three HARO emails, two Macbook Airs, and a Klout Score of Eighty-Three.

On the Ninth Day of Social Christmas, my followers gave to me, nine bloggers blogging, eight Facebook Updates, seven “_____ dailies are out,” six foursquare checkins, FIVE… ANGRY… BIRDS!! Four Pete Cashmore Tweets (sigh), three HARO emails, two Macbook Airs, and a Klout Score of Eighty-Three.

On the Tenth Day of Social Christmas, my followers gave to me, Ten iPhones buzzing, nine bloggers blogging, eight Facebook Updates, seven “_____ dailies are out,” six foursquare checkins, FIVE… ANGRY… BIRDS!! Four Pete Cashmore Tweets (sigh), three HARO emails, two Macbook Airs, and a Klout Score of Eighty-Three.

On the Eleventh Day of Social Christmas, my followers gave to me, Eleven Failing Whales, Ten iPhones buzzing, nine bloggers blogging, eight Facebook Updates, seven “_____ dailies are out,” six foursquare checkins, FIVE… ANGRY… BIRDS!! Four Pete Cashmore Tweets (sigh), three HARO emails, two Macbook Airs, and a Klout Score of Eighty-Three.

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my followers gave to me, Twelve more months to do this all again in 2011, Eleven Failing Whales, Ten iPhones buzzing, nine bloggers blogging, eight Facebook Updates, seven “_____ dailies are out,” six foursquare checkins, FIVE… ANGRY… BIRDS!! Four Pete Cashmore Tweets (sigh), three HARO emails, two Macbook Airs, and a Klout Score of Eighty-Three.

To everyone who has read me, retweeted me, tagged me, blogged me, or simply been my friend in 2010, I say thank you. Happy holidays, and all my truly best wishes for a wonderful, happy, successful, prosperous, and peaceful 2011.

Love,

-Peter Shankman
http://www.shankman.com