Knowing I wanted to work all five hours of my flight, I got to sleep super-early last night, sure that a solid eight hours would guarantee my alertness for the entire fight, allowing me to be super-work-like, and get a ton of stuff done.

Sadly, as you can see from below, this won’t be the case.

Sigh. Have a good day, everyone.

However, I grew up in the 80s, when New York City didn’t have the same “Sex and the City” siren’s call that it has now. In the past ten years, I’ve seen more people come to NYC without a clue in their heads – Doing the most irresponsible stuff known to man (or woman.) Taking the subway home at 2am, drunk off their ass. Pulling out their $600 iPhone on the A train at midnight. Lost in their iPad, reading away, completely oblivious to their surroundings, and the dangers that exist.

I’ve wanted to write this post for a long, long time. If it helps one person, or prevents one mugging, (or something worse) it’s been totally worth it. I encourage you to Tweet it out, Facebook it, and pass it along to friends, family, and coworkers. There’s nothing worse than being a victim in a situation where you totally and completely didn’t have to. Sharing buttons are at the bottom for your convenience.

I want to thank Ty Francis (if you think a 6’1″ former head of security for some of Southampton’s toughest clubs doesn’t have any good safety tips, think again) as well as retired Law Enforcement Officer Clement Tang for their most valuable tips that have made this article as helpful as it is.

I’m breaking this article down into different sections, but know this – There’s not one section in here that can’t help you. Read it. Please. If we can prevent one more NY Post Headline that screams about how a young woman left a bar at 3am and wound up dead, we couldn’t ask for anything better from this article below.

General Safety Tips you should always follow, whether you live in a big city or a small town.

Don’t develop a pattern of behavior.

• A pattern is what allows bad guys to plan an attack or ambush. It allows them to track your comings and goings. So they can plan when they can safely break into your apartment.
• Vary the times you come and go.
• Vary your routes to work, school, gym and coffeehouse
• Ever notice that when President Obama goes for a run, or even travels anywhere, he never goes the same route twice? There’s a very logical reason for that. Patterns can get you in trouble. Don’t have them.

Know your surroundings

• Beware of what is normal in your neighborhood…or anyplace you frequent.
• Is that a new car on the street?
• Have those guys always hung out on that corner?
• Knowing what is normal allows you to notice the changes.  Noticing changes makes you more aware of potential dangers.  Those changes will cue you as to when something unexpected might be about to happen

We have a “gut” for a reason. 99.9% of the time, going against it is bad form.

The number one clue that something isn’t right will more than likely come from inside of you. Your gut – That “something doesn’t seem ok here” feeling you get in your stomach. Don’t ignore it! There’s a reason we have those feelings. They’re ingrained from primal instincts, from millions of years ago, when we’d turn around and find a Tyrannosaurus Rex walking behind us, sizing us up for lunch.  DO NOT IGNORE YOUR GUT. If something doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t. Trust your gut. You have it for a reason.

Situational Awareness is your best friend. Not using it turns your surroundings into your worst enemy.

• Yes, it’s fun to play Angry Birds on the subway. But don’t you think people are looking for those who are doing exactly that? If you’re busy throwing birds at pigs, or landing planes, or even reading a book on your device, the following things are happening:
• You’re focused almost entirely on whatever you’re doing, and not on your surroundings.
• You’re not holding onto your device with any level of strength – Rather, you’re just resting it on your hands. You can’t fling birds or turn pages if you’re grasping onto a device, so you don’t do it. Instead, you just rest it there, just waiting for someone to grab it and run off the train at the next open stop.
• This isn’t limited to transportation. Using your phone while walking down the street is just as bad – It’s so easy for someone going the other way to focus on your device, grab it, and be in a running start while you’re still like “What the hell just happened?” The thief is already ten feet away and running by the time you turn around and even realize what’s going on. Good luck catching up and getting your device back.
• In the end, I know we’re not going to stop using our devices in public places. That would defeat the entire purpose of the device. What we can do, though, is at least be more aware of our surroundings when we do it. Can we look up for a second after every level and just assess our situation? That’s not that hard to do.

Have your keys in your hands

Whether going to your car, work or apartment, have your keys in your hand before you approach the door. This allows you quicker access through the door and avoids the major distraction of fumbling for keys as you reach the door. An attack is most likely to occur when you stop at a door and try to find your keys.  Your head will be down and you will neither be looking around or listen for unusual sounds (like steps coming your way).  Attacking a victim at this time also has the advantage of gaining access to whatever you were about to enter. Also, being hit with a large set of keys can often discourage an attack and holding the keys between your fingers and punching someone with them can make them very unhappy.

Small things we should all do, but rarely do.

• Wherever you are, a small powerful flashlight is one of the most important things you can have.  Even with something as innocent as a power outage, think of all the places you’ll be on any given day that have no outside windows to let in light…hallways, stairs, elevators.  A flashlight will always allow you to find your way to a safer place.
• In that same vein, don’t fall into the movie plot setup of investigating noises in the dark…that is why you have a cell phone and know how to call 911 (or just walk away)
• A whistle or other noisemaker is your friend. Attach a small whistle onto your keychain. There. Now it’s always there. Do NOT be afraid to use it to attract attention.
• Instead of yelling “HELP” when something goes wrong, yell “FIRE!” People are more likely to respond to “Fire” than to “help.”

Have a buddy system

This doesn’t mean you always have to take a buddy when you go somewhere.  It means letting someone know when you are doing something different or going someplace you haven’t been before… Also, when you plan to return.  It doesn’t mean where to start looking for the body when you are kidnapped (although it does help), but it can be very useful if should you be stranded or injured in an area that doesn’t have cell coverage. You think it’s an exaggeration? Some very logical examples that could easily happen to you

• You leave work late one night, and get stuck in the elevator, long after everyone else has gone home.
• You fall asleep on the subway and wake up lost (or worse, in the yards. I’ve seen it happen.)
• You get in a car wreck and skid off the road, down a 200 foot hill into a ravine, hidden from sight of the road.
• You get sick. Your appendix bursts. You hit your head. You name it.

Know the people in your neighborhood. When I’m walking to the gym in the dark at 5am, there’s a homeless man on the corner of 46th Street. I bring him a cup of coffee each morning. In turn, he keeps an eye on me in the dark. It’s a good trade. Do you know the people in your neighborhood? Can you call for them if you’re running away from trouble?

Don’t look like a Victim

• Victims of violent crimes like a mugging or robbery call attention to themselves by either being oblivious to their surroundings (defenseless) or by looking helpless (unable to defend themselves).
• Walk down a street with your head up and looking around.  Don’t hug either side of the sidewalk…especially not the inside where you have to pass close to doorways. For God’s sake, don’t text and walk at the same time. You’re screaming out “ROB ME!”
• Don’t stare (it can be taken as a challenge) but don’t be afraid to look at people (it isn’t an elevator).  You can nod or smile if you’d like, but beware of offering an unintended invitation.

At the end of the day, personal security and situational awareness comes down to not being clueless. I encourage you all to not be clueless.

Don’t be clueless

• Yes, it is a wonderful new world out there to explore.  But try to pay attention to the unusual when out walking.
• Has that person been behind you for a while?
• Do they stop when you stop and continue when you do?
• Do they look away when you turn to look at them?
• The easiest thing to do is go into a public place, like a coffee shop or an eatery, and have a seat…if they stop too, you might consider calling 911 and have them check out your stalker.
• The worst thing to do is continue on your way is it takes you to a less traveled area…if you can’t stop; take a longer but busier route.

I’d love to hear your tips, as well. Please post them in the comments below.

Stay sharp, stay aware, and stay safe, my friends.

I spent last weekend in Florida, jumping out of airplanes. When I had some downtime (no pun intended,) I was doing some quick homework as to my expenses last year. I came up with ten reasons we waste money, and how to prevent them. A ton of them I’d already been doing, but I thought of a few new ones, as well. Hope they help you, too.

Why you’re always broke:

10) You’re broke because you mistakenly believe that coffee served by a person in a green apron tastes better than coffee you make yourself at home. $4 a day, $20 a week, $80 a month, $960 a year on the cup of coffee you get at Starbucks. Buy a good coffee machine. Even if it costs you $300, plus $100 in beans for the year, you’re looking at a savings of $560 if you make coffee at home and take it with you in a reusable mug.

9) You’re broke because you take cabs to or from the airport, or park at the airport. I get it, if you live in a place with no transportation system. But for everyone else, this is a needless expense. NYC, DC, Boston, San Francisco, and San Francisco are just a few of the places where the transit system is more than good enough to get you to and from the airport. NYC: $15 for the AirTrain to Newark, $2.50 from midtown to LaGuardia, $7.50 to JFK, vs. a minimum of $35 for a cab, average rate $50-70. EACH WAY. Don’t even get me started on parking costs. Use mass transit, not only for airports, but for the majority of your travel.

8) You’re broke because you prefer Seamless.com to FreshDirect.com, EVERY WEEK. In other words, you prefer to order in than to cook. I get it. Cooking is hard. BUT… Cooking just four hours on a Sunday can give you enough meals for the week. Cook half a dozen skinless chicken breasts on a Sunday, keep them in the fridge. On Monday, add a sauteed onion and nuke some spinach. Tuesday, add a small serving of pasta, and a vegetable. Wednesday, unfreeze some frozen pre-cooked shrimp, with a vegetable. Thursday, chicken with hot sauce and rice. Friday, go out. There. One meal out vs. five. Money saved – A lot, or REALLY a lot, depending on where you live.

7) You’re broke because you waste time talking on your mobile phone. The way I see it, we learned to use the mobile phone backwards. We should have started out sending texts, then learned to talk on it. Because we did it the other way, we spend way too much time talking about crap we could totally avoid if we were limited to 160 characters. If you have a low monthly minute plan, you should use your phone for emergencies and when you absolutely can’t text. (When you’re driving, for example.) If you put texting before talking, chances are, you can drop your minutes even more, lowering your bill that much more each month.

6) You might be broke because you still have a land-line. If you work somewhere other than your home, and you still have a land-line, do you have a reason for it? The only reason to still have one is in case of a massive catastrophe, when all the electricity goes out – chances are, your corded phone will still work. But other than that, you could be saving $40, $50, or even more by simply losing the land-line.

5) You’re broke because like your mother probably used to say, you actually DO think you live in a barn. When you leave, are you turning off all your lights? What about your TV? Muting it doesn’t count. Do you shut off your desktop monitor? Screen savers don’t save you that much. Shut off the monitor, if not the entire computer. Electricity doesn’t have to be as expensive as it is. Heat and AC? Same thing. Put on a sweater, or get a thinner comforter for your bed. You’d be AMAZED how much lowering the heat and AC can save you over the course of a year.

4) You’re broke because you wear one outfit, then dry-clean it. Hang a blazer on a hanger, and put it out your window for an hour. Brand new. Buy a lint-roller (all cat owners know this trick) and your blouse is ready for another day. Jeans? I wear them till they can walk on their own. I’m not saying don’t stay clean and neat, but on the same note, the only things that should be washed after each use are socks , underwear, and gym clothes.

3) You’re broke because you prefer a treadmill to that amazing thing called “The outdoors.” Take a run outside. Drop halfway through for pushups. Want more? Do them with your feet on a bench. Last tenth of a mile of the run? Squat to the finish line. Then do some sit-ups on the grass. Boom – $60-150 a month saved.

2) You’re broke because you don’t know your credit score, and aren’t negotiating lower rates. Go to annualcreditreport.com – (The only free one) and download your credit report. Got a good one? Call your credit card companies and ask for a lower rate. Bet you get it. But don’t close your accounts if you pay them off – That can actually hurt your credit report. Keep a hundred bucks on the card, and you’ll always get good interest rates, and make your score even better.

1) The number one reason you’re broke? You just assume fees “have to be.” Guess what – They don’t! Keep $100 in a TD Bank account, and all fees are GONE, including ATM fees for other ATMs. Negotiate EVERYTHING. ASK what the fees are when you rent a car, and ask to have some of them removed. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. And trust me – You CAN get. Ask your utility provider how to lower your monthly bill. Ask your cell phone provider if you’re actually using all your minutes, and if not, drop down. Ask. Trust me. You CAN get.

What am I missing? Tell me your best tips below – The top ones get a prize.

For those of my age, you’ll recognize the subject as a play on that random Harrison Ford movie. For those not as old as me… Well, this is a post about Meagan.

Meagan Walker, for the few who don’t know, is the reason my blog posts go out when they should. She’s the reason I write them in the first place, since they’re almost all written on planes. She’s the reason I’m on time for the flights where I can write the posts.

Meagan Walker, for more than three years, has run every facet of my professional life. (And a good chunk of my personal, as well.) Meagan is without question, the brains behind this operation.

I never thought I needed an assistant. Then I booked two dinners, both on the same night. It gets better: They were each on different continents.

And then I found Meagan. And she helped me throughout HARO’s rocket ship growth, and has stuck with me day in and day out. She’s not so much my assistant anymore, as she is my little sister.

And she’s my daily lifesaver.

But… Much like the “if you love something, set it free” poem, I know my little sister needs to grow. And I want her to.

Hence the reason for this post - Meagan will still be my lifesaver – no doubt – But now, she’s going to do so as a consultant to me – Which means her talents, brains, and smarts will be available to those worthy of her – Companies who need a planner, a producer, a magic-creator – You know what I mean.

Looking for someone brilliant to help you out as a consultant? You couldn’t do better than my “little sister.” Reach out to her – She’s meagan – at – shankman – dot – com.

And if I haven’t already said it – She’s awesome.

He mentions that he’s just met someone about eight weeks ago and really likes her. Then he says something that jolts me out of my “casual chat” comfort zone.

“You’re married, and obviously older. Can I ask you some advice?”

*Blink.* I wanted to say “first piece of advice, you little shit, is to not call out the fact that I’m “obviously” older.” But I let it go.

He wanted advice on how to deal with this new girl in his life. It started me thinking – We’re asked for advice almost constantly, and usually, with very little background knowledge on what the problem is. As someone who’s thrilled that a month in on his marriage, he hasn’t done anything to cause Mrs. @petershankman to run away screaming, I’m hardly the best person to ask.

With that, I realized that we should all have five “go-to” pieces of advice that can be used universally, for almost any problem, anytime, anywhere. They’re not BS pieces of advice, as they really work. They’re also not designed to get the other person to go away. They’re designed to help, with limited information, the best you can. So here there are.

5) Advice: Don’t overthink things. Chances are, whatever problem you’re having, if you’re coming to someone else for advice, you’re at the point where you’ve done nothing but think about it for hours, days, maybe even longer. Perhaps that’s a mistake. Perhaps the answer is already there, but you’re so busy thinking about the problem, that you can’t see the answer in front of you. In other words, make sure you see the forest for the trees. Advising people not to overthink things can change their perception of their problem.

4) Advice: Let go of the anger, it’s not helping you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked for advice from someone who’s angry. Whether they feel wronged, neglected, hurt, or ignored, they’re definitely not thinking clearly, because anger is clouding their judgement. Letting go of anger is like Windexing your soul. All of a sudden, you can see more clearly, make more rational decisions, and imagine a better outlook. Advising people to let go of their anger is a universal play.

3) Advice: Take some time away from the problem. Some of the best solutions to problems come when we just shut off our brain, and go do something else. Whether it’s playing golf, building a house of cards, volunteering to help build a home, or even running or skydiving – sometimes, leaving the problem behind for a little while as we do something else can have wonderful effects. We return with a clearer head, a better brain chemistry filled with new dopamine receptors and neural passageways, and a better mind in which to face the problem. And more often than not, that’s probably the only thing we need to get us past the bump that’s preventing us from solving the bigger problem in the first place. Advising people to take some time away for a little bit gives them a new way to see things.

2) Advice: If all things are equal, do that which is more fun. Often, the advice asked for is on which choice to make – say, two different job offers, or two potential places to live. I’m a big believer that without fun in our lives, we wind up old, crotchety, frustrated, and sad. Without fun, there’s no point. If I have two equal choices, and the only difference is which one would offer more fun, I’ll always choose the one with more fun. Advising someone to have more fun is good for them, good for you, and good for the universe.

1) Advice: No matter how dark things seem, there’s always light somewhere. Sometimes, we’re asked for advice on a truly devastating problem, one that there doesn’t appear to be a way out. But every problem has a way out. It might not be the way out they want, but it’s a way out regardless. And those way outs tend to bring some level of comfort at the end. So even if the advice requires descending into darkness for a bit, know that there’s light at the end of every situation. The only job they have to do is to continue to move towards it. Advising someone that it truly will get better (because it always does) is the best thing you can do.

Any other universal pieces of advice? I’d love to hear them below.