Facebook Event Invitations: Ur Doing it WRONG.
I had some time to relax this Sunday, so I took my laptop to my balcony, cracked a Diet Pepsi, and took care of some of the mundane tasks we as people on the Internet have to deal with from time to time. I went through my SPAM folder, (the extent to which Gmail’s system keeps improving amazes me) responded to some tag-photo requests, and of course, went through the over 75 Facebook Event Invitations I’ve gotten in the past two weeks.
And wow – We’re pretty much clueless as to how to use them.
I suppose when Facebook was first starting out, the event invitations made a lot of sense. You’d invite everyone in your dorm to your room for a kegger. Was an easy way to do that. Logical.
Unfortunately, we no longer live in the same dorm. Sadly, we also rarely get invited to keggers anymore. And finally, since Facebook is now global in reach, and more importantly, encompasses the personal and professional realm within your “friends,” simply scrolling down and clicking on everyone’s name for your next invite doesn’t cut it anymore.
It would seem that a lot of people, though, are still doing that. And to them, I tell you: “UR DOING IT WRONG.”
So: Top five ways to screw up a Facebook Invite, and probably make yourself look stupid in the process:
5) The “I have no clue as to what you’re doing with your life” Mistake: Real Invite I got last week: “Come join the “How to get your life back in order after a divorce” Conference call! Join in from any phone! We’ll show you how, for only $29.95, you can start your life again, taught by two life coaches who just added the term “life coach” to their business card because it sounded cool!”
Really? You know the longest relationship I’ve ever had has been both my cats, right? I’ve never been married, so I sure as hell haven’t been divorced yet. DO YOUR HOMEWORK, don’t just scroll down the list and check off every name you find.
4) The “It looked a lot closer on Google Maps” Mistake “YOU’RE INVITED TO JOE’S 35th BIRTHDAY PARTY, THIS FRIDAY, AT BILLY’S PUB. Address: 108 Blackfriars Rd London, SE1 8HW, United Kingdom. Easily accessible from all Tube lines!
I’m sure it is accessible from all Tube lines. Except, to reach those Tube lines, I’d have to FLY ACROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN, BECAUSE I LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY. Know your audience. While it’s nice to invite me, the chances of my hopping a plane to London for a party for someone I haven’t seen in… ever, is… not that great. Not 100% unheard of, but not that great.
3) The super-broad definition of “Event” mistake: You’re invited to “HELP FIND MY DAD A SUBLET, RUNNING FROM NOVEMBER 1 TO MARCH 15th.”
Here’s a tip: Finding your father a sublet, or joining a petition, or anything that requires me to do something but doesn’t require me to go anywhere at a specific time, IS NOT AN EVENT. IT’S A REQUEST. Want to ask me to help you? EMAIL ME.
2) The “Wow, you’re clueless and now just sad” mistake: You’re invited to “LEARN THE BASICS OF BLOGGING AND TWEETING!”
Again – Know your audience. I actually remove people as friends for this one. I’m glad you’re trying to make a few extra pennies, and hey,
you’re on Facebook, (sarcasm: ON) of course you’re a social media expert and can teach people how to do what you do, right? (sarcasm: OFF) but seriously – KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. Unless you’re Chris Brogan, I’m not coming to you to learn how to Blog. And if you ARE Chris Brogan, we’re probably presenting this together.
1) The “And the last time we talked was?” mistake (I.e., #s 5 and 3 together mistake): “Please Join me for this fundraiser for my favorite charity,” you can donate from this website.”
The last time we talked was eight months ago, when I wrote “Hello there!” on your wall after you added me as a friend. Then, randomly, I get this warm and fuzzy invite, except when I read it, it’s nothing more than a mass email to everyone in your friend list, asking them all to donate money to your favorite charity, cause, 100-mile walk for whatever. While it’s nice that you’re doing it, if that’s the only time I’m going to hear from you, I’d rather donate from the charity’s home page, lest I reinforce your bad behavior.
What other bad Facebook invite behavior have you seen? Leave it in the comments.
November 9th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Peter Shankman and prblogs, NicoleN. NicoleN said: Will read later –> RT @skydiver: Facebook Event Invitations: UR DOING IT WRONG! http://is.gd/4RbZD [...]
November 9th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by prblogs: Shankman: Facebook Event Invitations: Ur Doing it WRONG.: I had some time to relax this Sunday, so I took my laptop … http://bit.ly/3hO2pN…
November 9th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Peter, I here you on this one. These types of invites are about as useful as all the pokes and free fish I have received. Sadly, I’ve bucketed all my facebook emails into one place – the trash can. They just haven’t proved to be of much value at all.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I couldn’t agree with you more on this. Drives me nuts and worse yet that it creates so much noise that I sometimes miss the events that ARE relevant and right for me.
Just because someone is given a tool like this doesn’t mean they have to act like a tool when using it.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Well said Peter!
Then there are those who use the event function correctly, but incessantly. Invite me to your event only once please, I know how to RSVP (even know what it stands for AND how to spell it!). There are days when my wall looks like nothing but a charity register. Then again, I woirk in PR, what do I expect?!
Thanks!
November 9th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
In other words, don’t spam people!
November 9th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Right on! Thanks for addressing this. I have ‘un-friended’ people who only converse with me via event invites that don’t interest me. A huge waste of time and attention.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
EXACTLY… bottom line it shows how little some one cares. Most are just to lazy to filter.. sad!
November 9th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Amen. I have to do another purge soon because they are backed up again. Like Adam above, most emails that come in to my Facebook account end up going in the trash without me even seeing them. It sucks for the occasional event that IS relevant to me.
Interestingly, despite the fact that MySpace events suffered the same issue (too many that were not relevant), I believe they forced you to invite people one at a time, which in theory would cut down on the irrelevant invites. Oh right, that would require people to actually think before blasting everyone in sight. Sigh…
November 9th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Peter – GREAT post! I have to admit, the “invite everyone on my friend list” tactic is one of my biggest Facebook pet peeves so far. I wrote about it a bit ago, aptly titled “Using a Facebook Friend List Means You Care”.
I love my friends, I really do. However, I’ve come seriously close to unfriending a few of them due to the spam they send to my event inbox. No, I’m not going to get on a plane and fly to the UK to go to your event. Especially when your event is tomorrow.
Even worse? The mass messages to people invited to events.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
People are lazy. That’s the bottom line. It really doesn’t take that much time to do it right, but it’s easier not to.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Spot on. Facebook events may be the most obvious and egregious, but the fundamental premise applies universally: relevance is required, not optional. Tweets, blog comments, photo tags, reviews. The entirety of the social Web only works if the majority of the people DON’T communicate with you unless it’s relevant and appropriate.
(good to see you in Chicago. great job on the panel)
November 9th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Excellent points, Peter!
Like with all things, you must know your audience. Being generic in your communications only serves to alienate people. As a communications professional, I frequently have to draft many different versions of the same message–all for different audiences. People need to take the time to make their communications targeted and relevant. Otherwise, they are just noise. Or worse yet, spam.
Amber @wordsdonewrite
November 9th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Please don’t forget the “notifications” that aren’t really “notifications.” My biggest Facebook pet peeve is when I log on and it says I have 4 notifications to check, and 3 of them say “take your friends quiz” and/or “fill out your friend’s honesty box.” That’s not a notification! I only want to see when someone writes on my wall, adds a link, or comments on a photo/wall post.
I know I can go in and change this, but every time I update these settings Facebook finds more “notifications” to send me that I have to manually opt-out of.
Sigh. Stepping off soap box.
Great post, Peter! I hear you loud and clear!
November 9th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I can’t say I’ve ever been invited to an event on Facebook that I would actually want to attend. I’d say 90% of them are fundraisers for people I don’t know. I still get my real event invitations through Evite, since at least people on there don’t just invite everyone on their list to everything.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Peter
Very funny but also very true. It is sometimes hard to find humor when each invite is spam. As CC Chapman indicated, it is easy to overlook events that are relevant and right.
Knowing your audience takes a minute to think and research and why would a spammer bother to do that? Only a few call then out on it (a lot more on twitter) so hit the button and not care that it is not reaching your target.
Humorous post that is addressing an issue that affects many as a huge annoyance.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Clearly you’re more popular than I, what with all the event invitations to respond to, but I’m happy for you! Thanks for the tutorial – duly noted. It seems that when Peter Shankman talks, people listen, so with luck a few “inviters” will refine their methods of inviting.
My pet peeve on FB is all of the silly applications that continue to crop up: people want to know my birthday, and I want to be nice about that and respond, but then I have to permit the application and then choose 20 friends to invite, and so on and so on. CANCEL CANCEL! Whew. And every so often I’d like to play Word Twist by myself, but that seems not to be an option. I feel better – thanks again, Peter.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
There is a woman who — every day, without fail — invites me to be a Fan of various medical services and free clinics in her hometown.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Peter,
I don’t disagree, but I gotta admit, there are still some things out there I want to be invited to! For example, Ingrid Michaelson, played at our local Barnes & Noble last week and I didn’t get a FB invite for that. Last March, an entire city block of our beautiful main street was lost in an explosion. Today, I got an invite on Facebook about the grand re-opening. I’m thrilled!
Yes, I get invited to a lot of stuff I have no intention of attending, but along with the bad, there’s a lot of good. Maybe Facebook needs to give us better event filters, ways to bring things we like to our attention and bury the rest.
That’s my $.02
November 9th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Bravo. I HATE getting invitations like those, especially the ones that aren’t regionally applicable. Is it so hard to filter?
November 9th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Thanks for sharing this. I loved #3. Classic case of mis-using the leverage that social networks provide.
I see this not just in Facebook but also on LinkedIn where the company announcements and product pitches are disguised as Questions. Sort of trying to get free advertisements.
What people forget is that the reader makes assumptions about the sender whenever a message is sent. In all these cases, the one conclusion that the reader will easily make is that the sender is “desperate” or “clueless.”
Best,
Rajesh
November 9th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
My biggest pet peeve of late has been people saying “oh, I invited you on facebook, didn’t you get it?” And then getting upset that I didn’t come. If people really want me to come, I figure at least I’ll get an evite. An email, a text message, something direct! Between the spam invites and the mafia wars, I don’t have time to look at who’s sending what.
My friend sent my bridal shower invitations out over facebook. So embarrassing — she wasn’t friends with many of the people on my invite list, so they got an email, having to friend her first before seeing the invite, or people who weren’t invited saw the event listing.
I have rarely seen it done right.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
My favorite (recent) Facebook connection request was received after I had completed an online webinar and it came from one of the attendees. She sent her request along with “by the way, the proper format for this sentence is X, not Y and since your information is out there you’ll probably want to make sure this is correct.” Which by the way, had me rolling as all I could think of was “wow, one error in 50+ slides, my editor will be so proud!”
November 9th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I feel your pain, Peter!
November 9th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Hi Peter, this is great and oh-so-timely. A friend recently sent a FB email to, I believe, every single connection on Facebook. Granted, this friend is looking for work and has been for quite some time, but I found this method of asking for help to be pretty tacky.
November 9th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Amen, amen! It only takes one lazy click to ’select all’ and then make yourself look like a horse’s rear when the all RELEVANCY disappears for the reasons listed above. The basics of marketing is all about refining (and knowing) the target audience and then addressing it appropriately. We are inundated with junk and irrelevant information day in and day out; if you want your message (and your reputation) to arrive intact, focus and be laser precise with the appropriate message.
As a side note: Admittedly, I ‘un-friended’ one gal that was posting countless times daily with irrelevant information. Then, I finally got the phone call from her, “I’ve been trying to reach you; why aren’t you my FB friend anymore?” Ahem….
Well, at least I was honest with her!
November 9th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
I was just invited to join a “secret” focus group, group, for the opportunity to be paid for my opinions….in South Africa (I’m in California)…and I’m in market research, so I would be disqualified.
November 9th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Peter, I love you because you make me laugh. Yes, I have received every dumb Facebook Fan Page, Invite, Cause, etc. that you have highlighted above. But the best was sent out AFTER the event actually happened. Nice.
November 9th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
The most insane part of that post for me was in example #5:”We’ll show you how, for only $29.95, you can start your life again, taught by two life coaches who just added the term “life coach” to their business card because it sounded cool!”
So, not only are you not part of the target market, but you are being asked to shell out 30 bucks to two people who have no life coaching experience, but think it “sounds cool”! A great idea if I have ever heard one. I think being a magician’s assistant sounds cool- want to come to my become a magician’s assistant seminar next week?!
November 9th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
By far the worst use of Facebook invites is the night club promotion. Several reasons.
1) I hate night clubs. The places I like to go I probably didn’t hear about from two-a-day Facebook invites for events called “Scorpio Week @ Infamous Industry Tuesdays” (Yes, that’s a real one)
2) People who promote night clubs and bars should be banned from using tools that allow you to mass mail. The messages are hard to understand, ten pages long, and IN ALL CAPS.
3) I hate night clubs.
November 9th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Unfortunately this is true and the result is the “girl/boy that cried wolf” dilemma because I no longer even read the events as a result of the massive amount of SPAM invites. I am sure I am not the only person who thinks this way and I also believe that people are missing events that actually mean something because of all the events that they receive which mean absolutely nothing. There have been MANY times that I have received events in other languages and could not even read the words on the page. All I have to say is KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE and use FACEBOOK the same way that you would use your cell phone…by communicating ONLY with the people you know!
November 9th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Peter, I hate to tell you this but re: reason 5), I saw Nasa filing papers at a divorce lawyer’s office last week….
JUST KIDDING!!! We have cats, too. :^)
November 9th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Two words: Mafia Wars. Oh, and another : Zooville. Hate both with the passion of 100 nuns.
November 9th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
I especially like when female FB’ers post statuses like “such bad cramps today” or “need a hysterectomy.” No one wants to know about Aunt Flo, and I’m a woman! I also don’t want to know about the diarrhea you are experiencing from your over indulgence the night before!
November 9th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
I must be fortunate or not high on the radar screen as I only found one event in my event box. Didn’t even know there was an event section on Facebook.
This is good to know about though. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
I joined FB at the recommendation of another member of our artist group. At first I thought it might be a way to market my art, but I get so annoyed with all the requests and silly drama of some people that I rarely go there anymore. I’ve taken to hiding the ones with foul language, or “oh what would you do if you found out your spouse cheated on you?”. Or the open ended posts such as “I’m so sad.” and then fifty people have to ask before you get the real answer. And yes, I would love to just unfriend some folks and will start doing that this week. I’ve noticed that most of the artists groups I’ve seen are dwindling in postings as well so it’s not such a great place for marketing. Just entertainment.
November 9th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
I am sick of seeing all the farm stuff on there. Who cares if you need some one to milk your cow.
I get invites all the time for events in South Africa, UK, Italy.
You are right, be a bit more discerning about your invites.
November 9th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Hello person married-to-someone-I-used-to-be-friends-with.
What? You have a business? What you want me to be a fan? Well, OK, I guess.
Now I receive a minimum of 4 events PER WEEK to your local charity events! Filter by networks. It’s not that hard.
November 9th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I’d like to add one more the list: Be VERY careful about potential “merging” issues into face book from GMAIL…ugh…nasty…spammers, beware….
November 9th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Reminds me of the same advice about mini skirts: “Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you should!”
November 9th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Great post and SO true! Thanks!
November 9th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
My pet peeve: people who friend you only to then spam you with invites to become their fans, buy their services/products, and subscribe to their posts. And when you don’t, because you don’t even know them, they are offended.
November 9th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I think the answer is obvious: we just need to have a whole lot more keggers!
November 9th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
All true, HOWEVER…
Maybe there wouldn’t be nearly as much of this if hordes of us weren’t out hyping social networking and promising unlimited potential and riches. While the spamming is inexcusable, maybe we should each take a look at how we’ve contributed to the perception that social networking creates instant unimaginable success.
November 10th, 2009 at 12:11 am
Great advice! It is a bit time-consuming to go through that list and invite only the people who would have genuine interest in your events, but the time invested is worth it.
Bravo, also, on the comment about not wanting to hear about people’s bodily functions. Ew, ew, ew!
Oh, and for you folks who don’t like certain things like Mafia Wars or Farmville, you can hide those from your news feed so you don’t ever see them again. Works like a charm.
November 10th, 2009 at 12:36 am
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Alan Gee, Natalya Dewi. Natalya Dewi said: Facebook Event Invitations: Ur Doing it WRONG. | The Home of Peter …: Between the spam invites and the mafia .. http://bit.ly/ONcj6 [...]
November 10th, 2009 at 12:39 am
Yes, the event invites are the main piece of Facebook that I’m forced to ignore. There are too many invites and even if I wanted to attend them, I just don’t have enough time.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:06 am
My current FB pet peeve – Women who post updates about the ailments of being women. For some reason, men rarely fall prey to this temptation. However, I have learned some very disturbing facts about women I went to college with, or used to work with, or were neighbors with ten years ago – simply from their status updates. Trust me, you DON’T want to know what I’ve learned. Heck , *I* don’t even want to know some of the things I’ve learned. Makes you see people you hung out with (until yesterday, after reading about what they planned to do with their afterbirth, which is apparently very trendy but very very gross) in a whole new light. And very grateful that they exist now in your life only virtually. Until you de-friend and block them, that is!
November 10th, 2009 at 6:42 am
For the most part, I try to be tolerant of stuff like this because I know, for the most part, my friends don’t use Facebook for anything more than just fun. I try to keep my “friends” list limited to people that I actually KNOW; I don’t have thousands of people hitting me up for stuff every day.
That said, when I got an invite to a happy hour that lasted for TWO MONTHS (the hostess was trying to find a time that’d be good for everyone she’d invited ), I wanted to punch myself in the face. Schedule your event FIRST. THEN post an invite. Schedule your event for the actual period during which it’s to take place. Is that so hard?
Worse for me are the requests to join groups, fan pages and various and sundry causes. NO, I don’t want to be a fan of “LOLCATS That Chew Gum In The Loo.” Thanks for the offer, though.
November 10th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Priceless and entirely on target. You clearly read your invites, whereas I barely skim before hitting the No or Ignore button. When someone really wants me there they’ll either send me a direct email (and they’ll know that address) or they’ll pick up a phone or DM me on Twitter. Otherwise I see a lot as so much noise. Thanks always for the reminder. HARO is a service I recommend widely and often.
November 10th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Oh so true! Since I get inappropriate FB invites on an almost daily basis, I just disregard most of them. When I click “no”, then I feel rude/compelled to give an explanation.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
I see equally as much time devoted to the WRONG use of social media as to people talking about how everyone gets it wrong. At the start, I did everything wrong and probably, so did you. But you toughed it out and developed some serious insights into how you can use social media more effectively.
We’re all at different stages in learning how to use social media tools (my tip: define your business marketing strategy, then determine the appropriate audience and tools to reach that audience), and social networking/media is changing constantly both the tech offerings and evolving with mass use growth.
A couple of weeks ago I received an invite to a HOUSEWARMING party in Toronto (where I am), for people I had never met and don’t event think I’m FB friends with – it was an open event on the Toronto event board, so it shows up in your home page of events. They were offering “amazing” DJ’s, Halloween costume contests, and it was a kegger (I suppose) charging a door fee. What a dumb idea.
The day after the event the page was updated to say what a success it was with 500+ people attending. They also followed up with a number of emails discussing the TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF STOLEN ITEMS of the hosts and their guests.
Bottom line, predators are out there looking for opportunities to take advantage – if you give them an open door they will walk through it.
November 11th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
And here I was ready to invite people to a kegger, free if they show up wearing their Chris Brogan masks. Damn! One forgotten aspect about this is the “social” aspect of media. Before social media we liked people who are genuinely social because they were personable (have a personality), knew a lot of people and cared about those people…they know about these people and their interests. We would hear from these people, they shared information. Now, this seems to apply to those who we only hear from when they want something. I like the mention about the charity. Oh so true. Good post!
November 16th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Never a truer word spoken on other bad behaviour how about:
If i get one more FARM, PILLOW, Vampyre, poker [insert random FB app that spams everyone in your friends list here] I will scream. i dont even read them i just hit iggy
November 17th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Should I be depressed that I don’t get FB invitations?
(
November 18th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
[...] Peter because I wanted to share this article he wrote on the misuse of Facebook Invitations. http://shankman.com/facebook-e.....-it-wrong/ My feelings exactly. Being FB friends or LinkedIn Connections does not imply you want to be added [...]
November 18th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
*raising glass* Here here!! Well said Peter, well said.
Let’s talk about all the crazy games FB has and people shouldn’t actually buy into them? I don’t have time for games and time-wasters and these “so-in-so needs help with their crime ring or needs help watering their farm” are driving me batty. I thought FB was supposed to be the vehicle which connects people together not a cumbersome “Christine” who haunts you.
Better yet, Peter, what about you starting a REAL social networking site with parameters for the way it should be done and consequences like the HARO list. so people can jump out of the matrix and into real social networking.
Love HARO. Thanks for the insightful post.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Ah, see? This is why I don’t add “business associates” on Facebook. I don’t want those awful invites.
And sure, it’s still a pain in the ass to get the “Lost my phone I need ur #s!” invites, especially when that person never had your phone number (and will never have your phone number) in the first place, but at least no one’s trying to sell me anything.
November 27th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Excellent post and right on target. I try to be understanding that we don’t take a class to get on facebook and some people are still experimenting with the different functions. Including my campaign (I was just running for office) I had an eager volunteer who sent out 39 invites to volunteer events all at the same time to all my contacts without filtering to just the city. I blamed it on an error with facebook and sent my sincere apologizes but I am sure I lost some supporters with that one. It now goes on this list of don’t do this in your campaign, spread them out and filter and be careful of who you give administration duties to!
November 28th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
I guess you can’t stop stupid. People will continue to do this, but we can set up Facebook to ignore of block all of this.
Thanks for the post Peter.
January 23rd, 2010 at 4:35 am
[...] 5. Improper Event Invitations. This is becoming more and more frustrating as events that people want to see are being overshadowed by poorly targeted event invites. No-one says it better than Peter Shankman. [...]