How NOT to use HelpAReporter.com

This was sent in as a joke, but sadly, it’s dead on. Publicists: THIS IS WHAT NOT TO DO. Understand? Read this. Commit it to memory. THEN DON’T DO ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE IT ON MY LIST.

Thanks to AL for the great farce.

1. QUERY
I am looking for Long Islanders 50 and older who are in debt or have been in debt, to interview for a Newsday article.

My client is a 30-year-old bank executive who can talk about how Americans no longer face debt, given today’s booming economy. Please call me.

2. QUERY
As the number of people “pimping their rides,” has increased, so have questions about what is covered in car insurance. I have spoken to many insurers, but now need the other side of the equation.

My client is the leading used car sales company in Edgewater, New Jersey. Used cars are the wave of the future, given today’s sinking economy. Please call me.

3. QUERY
I’m working on a piece for MSN.com about things to look for in a school system when taking a teaching job.

My client owns an arts-and-crafts store that caters to teachers. We have exceptional end-of-year sales in March, which your readers may want to take advantage of, given today’s booming economy. Please call me.

4. QUERY
I need someone who can discuss credit card basics, such as choosing a card and managing debt.

My client is the leading manufacturer of ATMs sold to mom-and-pop grocery stores. Did you know that cash is the wave of the future and consumers are opting out of using their credit cards, given today’s sinking economy? Please call me.

5. QUERY
I need two experts who can advise parents of tweens and teens about money dilemmas.

My client owns a baby clothes boutique nestled in the heart of Soho.
Parents love her charming designs for infant boys and girls, particularly in today’s booming economy. Please call me.

6. QUERY
Is there anyone out there who has had a 401(k) since the 1980s? I’d like to hear from 1-2 people who can talk about they’re glad (or
unhappy?) that they’ve been investing in their 401(k) all this time.

My client runs the largest 80’s-only karaoke club in all of Bayside, Queens. Karaoke is making a comeback, as it is an inexpensive way to spend a fun evening in today’s sinking economy. Please call me.

7. QUERY
I am looking for individuals to talk about their experience with government jobs versus “civilian” jobs.

My client is the President. He’d like to talk to you about today’s booming economy. Please call me.

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18 Responses to “How NOT to use HelpAReporter.com”

#1 Elizabeth Potts Weinstein on 25, Mar, 2008 at 1:29 pm

Those are hilarious!

Getting press is really not that hard if you just give journalists what they need & want. I’m so amazed that when I respond to a press request how happy journalists are to hear from me — when all I do is answer the question and help them out. They just want answers to their questions & help to write a good article that will get approved by their editor. Why don’t people get it? Make a journalist’s job and life easy, and they will quote you and give you free publicity. And, it’s actually fun!

~ Elizabeth

#2 Lior Ciobotaru on 25, Mar, 2008 at 1:54 pm

I don’t see what’s wrong with the last one :)

#3 Eric on 25, Mar, 2008 at 2:32 pm

I know it’s identified as “farce,” but I’ll bet you’ve seen actual responses that were even worse.

#4 Paul Furiga on 25, Mar, 2008 at 4:59 pm

Peter, great post, great site, sad but true responses. No different than during the 20 years I spent in journalism before going into PR. What do journalists really want from PR people? See my answer to that question here:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Forg.....amp;id=694

#5 Marsha on 25, Mar, 2008 at 6:20 pm

Like I say to execs, “Answer the question - their question, not the one you’d like it to be.”

#6 Bobbie Carlton on 25, Mar, 2008 at 6:54 pm

This reminds me of a great story I read many years ago — if someone remembers more details than I do, help me out. It was a story written in a business publication that ONLY wrote on public companies. The reporter was pitched by a PR person who represented the family-owned gum company (Wrigley’s???) On a whim, the reporter called back the “flack” (I can say “flack” because I R 1.) The reporter told her he only wrote about public companies and asked what information his readers might gain from a story about her privately-held, closely-held, ultra-secretive about their financials client. Without missing a beat, the flack says, “Well, they chew gum, don’t they?”

But there is more to this story, for me anyway — I immediately thought about all the answers I would have given — how my client competes against a specific public company, or maybe the advantages of being private versus public companies. I can see a number of ways this reporters’ readers would have benefited from a story on this firm if the reporter would have thought outside the box. Does this make me a bad person or a good PR person?

#7 Shel Horowitz on 26, Mar, 2008 at 4:04 am

Wow, it reminds me of an old song, “Clueless, incredibly clueless…dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb” (don’t remember the artist, sorry).

I like Bobbie Carlton’s response; there are lots of ways to connect a not-exactly-what-they’re-looking-for client with a reporter query that definitely would work.

Example: when Peter sent a query from the AP about Elliot Spitzer that was looking for something very specific, this response got a positive reply in less tha an hour and a half:

“If you’d consider a sidebar on why people who build a career on high ethics standards fall so hard when they fall, I’d be glad to be a source. I blog regularly on the intersections of ethics, politics, media, and marketing, and wrote an award-winning book on ethics: Principled Profit: Marketing That Puts People First. I’ve posted a press release on this at http://www.principledprofit.com/spitzer.html” (I didn’t keep the original query)

#8 David Menzies on 26, Mar, 2008 at 4:19 am

To chime-in on Bobbie’s post about being a bad/good PR person, as a former newspaper editor who is now on the other side of the fence, I can appreciate thinking about the different angles that a reporter may have missed; there’s nothing wrong with mentioning these to the reporter as long as you can fully answer his or her original question in the first place. There are a kazillion reasons why a reporter may be searching for a specific answer or angle, and they very well may have already considered those other options but for some other reason — many times beyond their control — they are looking for a certain thing and by bringing up all the other angles in your initial contact you may be eating up their precious time or feeding their existing frustration over not being able to pursue the other angles. Providing a specific answer to their query first is still the way to go; after they bite, then pitching the other angles in a two-way conversation is totally appropriate, in my opinion, and for me at least as a reporter would be much appreciated.

#9 Andy on 26, Mar, 2008 at 5:24 am

Wow! Not ONLY has Peter ripped off ProfNet, but now he’s ripping off The Bad Pitch Blog too!
. I would expect a phone call from the Bad Pitch peeps too! ;-)

I’m kidding about the Bad Pitch People calling. They usually strick in the middle of the night with the stealth of a parapalegic ninja.

On a serious note, I have become amazed at the pitifully high amount of bullsh*t we PR people as a whole force reporters to deal with. Recently, I’ve responded to ProfNets and to Shankman’s queries, and received back notes from reporters telling me that 1) thanks but no thanks, I have what I need and, 2) thank you for actually reading my query and repying on-topic.

Is it SO bad that reporters now feel like they have to compliment us when we do our jobs correctly?

#10 Sally Whittle on 26, Mar, 2008 at 7:58 am

Peter

With the exception of number 7, all of these have the ring of truth about them. I suspect sometimes that PR execs have little forms they tick when responding to pitches which they then use to justify their bills at the end of the month.

A bad pitch isn’t the end of the world - but it wastes time. So, when I discuss these issues with PR colleagues, I like to tell them about an occasionally used feature of email called “auto delete”. Get yourself or your agency a name for sending these pitches, and you’ll quickly join the list of People Whose Emails I Will Never Read Again.

#11 Caroline on 26, Mar, 2008 at 8:20 am

Since when did “wave of the future” become the must-have phrase to include in a pitch!? LOL. I missed that memo.

#12 BSC on 26, Mar, 2008 at 9:42 am

I used to have a few clients that, for whatever reason, had their own ProfNet subscriptions. It chills me to the bone to think about what kind of tripe they pitched out on a daily basis.

#13 Kathleen Lisson on 26, Mar, 2008 at 1:42 pm

Too rich.
Kathleen Lisson

#14 Cynthie on 26, Mar, 2008 at 7:51 pm

Not-so-funny JOKE:
Query: Looking to speak to estimators or project managers experienced in residential construction.

Software Training facility hiring out of work super-indendents to train estimating software.

#15 Greg on 26, Mar, 2008 at 9:05 pm

Too funny! I love the way the absurdity grows in the examples but the point is the same.

If you’re totally free with time, my quotes on FaceBook id=772309580 follow a similar format. My favorite quotes organized to make a story/point/series… what the helll? They link up in some way….

BTW - Amazon is selling Peter’s book for like 11 bucks. The wit and jokes alone are worth more than that…

#16 Josh on 27, Mar, 2008 at 9:03 am

>Wow! Not ONLY has Peter ripped off ProfNet, but now he’s ripping off The Bad Pitch Blog too!

Andy: The Bad Pitch Blog, while wonderful, was launched in 2006. Peter has been writing about bad pitching for the entirety of his blog’s existence (inception: May 2005).

One such post:
http://shankman.com/rule-1-don.....e-clients/

#17 Linda Sherman on 27, Mar, 2008 at 11:13 pm

Off Topic: Regarding today’s e-mail about rental cars
Peter, you were complaining about Avis upgrading you to a Cadillac. I understand it’s difficult to switch when you’ve built up status with one vendor. I just wanted to let you know we have had a great experience with elite status on National. The beauty with National is that you get both the upgrade and the ability to choose your car by walking the Executive section of the lot. Even with no elite status, you get to choose your car from the central selection on the lot.

#18 Meryl.net » 77+ PR and Blogging Wars Articles and Resources on 14, May, 2008 at 1:20 pm

[…] How Not To Help a Reporter: Yeah, go right ahead. I dare you. […]

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