I’m always looking people in the eye. I even touch people to get out of my way, if I need to. But I am also six four and 235. I never get approached. Knock on wood.

Great post (as always), Peter. I grew up in Philly – down the street from the Liberty Bell – and hearing you use the term “city kid” brought me back to growing up in the 80′s, too. Here are some of my tips:

1. While walking to your car or door with your keys, have one of the keys wedged between your middle finders as you form a fist against the bottom. If you have to punch or go for the eyes, do it. It’s your life on the line. And believe me, if someone sees you walking with your keys that way, they know you will!

2. Get you and your kids buckled up and settled into your car with your garage door down. Same goes for when you pull into your garage and unload. Close the garage door quickly. Predators can easily sneak up on you when your distracted loading and unloading in your garage.

3. FIRE! I’m just pointing this one out again because it is so important. Nobody turns around when someone says ‘help’, but fire makes them look. I’ve been teaching my three year old that one, too.

4. Prepare your kids. Without scaring the bejesus out of them, let them know that there are bad people in the world that don’t always look “bad”. They also need to know that if you are mugged or hurt, what they should do to stay safe. I’d love to hear your tips tips on that one!

Thanks again for another awesome post! Stay safe.

Great message! Thanks Peter!

One thing I want to add, is while you absolutely have to be vigilant when you’re out in the city, or coming home at night, etc., keep in mind, the majority of the time acts of physical violence and sexual assault are committed by people you know and trust.

I think society believes that the rapist is going to like, jump out of the bushes when you’re running – which we all know is a possibility – but it’s more likely you’ll be attacked by someone who knows you, when you’re vulnerable, and in a situation where you would never expect anything bad to happen.

So my advice is to never let your guard down. I don’t care how cute he is, if you didn’t see where the drink came from, don’t touch it. Always let someone know where you are, and who you’re with – funny how Facebook places can actually come back and SAVE you in a sexual assault trial. And yes, always listen to your gut.

One in four women will be sexually assaulted before they even graduate college. And in most cases, it’s not the guy in the dark alley, it’s the guy who’s cute and offers to walk you home so you get there safely.

Lock your car doors as soon as you get in your vehicle. Always. Although the chance seems small, it would be easy for someone waiting at a bus stop or on the street corner to open your door, grab your purse or try to steal your car when you’re stopped at a red light.

Excellent advice Peter. I am thinking of couple of further things: 1) if someone stops to ask for directions (esp. if they are in a vehicle, I think) approach cautiously, if you decide to approach at all. Nothing has ever happened to me in this situatIon, but it HAS happened to others resulting in dire consequences. (There was a husband/wife team in St. Catherines, Ontario, a number of years ago who lured a couple of young women this way, resulting in a horrific death of these young people, What could look more innocent than a young husband and wife. You never know who the people are in that vehicle.) Added note: The husband is in jail for life as a dangerous offender; the wife served 12 years & got out on a plea deal. Lots of controversy over that. As you likely know, there is no death penalty in Canada. So, life in jail is as bad as it gets.

Number 2) Be aware of animals, specifically dogs. Are they on a leash? If not, is the owner at least nearby? If the dog appears to be wandering about on it’s own, take appropriate precautions.

That’s all I can think of right now. I walk a lot, especially around my neighbourhood, which I consider pretty safe. But I try to keep my wits about me at all times and constantly travel different routes. Never have headphones on as i like to be aware of whats going on around me.

i will post your great advice to FB and twitter.

Thanks,

Karin

(BTW, I live in Moncton, New Brunswick, *a small city about, 125.000 pop.* which comprises part of the Maritime provinces on the east coast of Canada. I really enjoy your ‘stuff’ and the opportunity to comment like this. ) :)

If you’re in a new city – DO NOT pull out a map on the street! That says, “Hey, LOOK AT ME, I have no freaking clue where I am!” We got of the subway somewhere in Boston…. and it wasn’t our intended stop, as we soon realized by the graffiti. My hubby nearly pulled out the Boston map; I suggested instead we casually wander to the little store on the corner, wait until there were no other customers and ask what stop we should have gotten off to get to our destination. Now, of course, you could wander into a store or restaurant and use your phone for a map without calling attention to your tourist status.

My mom swears by having a flashlight and she mentions two specific incidents where it proved helpful. She was working at Alexanders on 59th Street in the mid 60s (before our time but your parents remember) and there was a blackout; fortunately, she & my dad was living on 2nd & 68th at the time so she was in relatively good shape. Then we had the blackout in the 70s (you might remember it) and my parents happened to be at the show in the Theater District; we were living on the 31st floor of an apartment building in Marble Hill and my mom’s trusting flashlight helped them walk all of these damn stairs.

Everything else you said is spot on and I agree with the certain sense folks born & raised in NYC possess.

Peter, Thank you so much for writing a potentially life saving message. A few months ago, my wonderful dentist gave his staff and select clients the amazing gift of a Krav Maga self-defense class. It was a few hours long, covered many of those topics (awareness/gut is key) and was a very physical class that ended with each of us fighting off an “attacker” in a padded suit. I hope I never need to use what I learned, but if I do, at least I’ll have a fighting chance. It’s something I would recommend to ANYONE regardless of how well they think they can handle themselves in a threatening situation.

Excellent post, Peter! I’m always telling my friends and family, ‘Trust your gut!” Our gut instinct is the same as an animal’s instinct to run when they sense trouble. God gave us this for a reason! It’s up to us to trust that instinct, but humans tend to overthink and rationalize. Every time I’ve gone against my gut feelings, I’ve regretted it!

Kimberly’s suggestions are spot on as well! And I agree with her – your posts are always awesome! Thanks!

I agree with many of the comments that this is a great post and covers all very important points.

In truth, most violent crimes in most cities are committed between people who know one another. OR by one person who is familiar with another. A stalker is still familiar with their victim, even if the victim isn’t personally involved with the stalker. When asked, many (if not most) stalkers said they picked their stalking victim by change. An easy view in a window, especially into the window of someone’s home who has a routine (exactly to your point, Peter) can encourage or even invite a stalker who might otherwise walk on.

Finally, to the point about the keys in the fist. This is a very tricky point, especially for women. Many of us do not have practice or experience throwing a punch (I’d bet many men don’t either, frankly). We also don’t know the force a punch can pack on the puncher. The punch will hurt, surprise, and often disarm the person doing the punching, especially when a set of keys is clasped within their hand. Worse, should someone lace their keys between their fingers, punching or swiping at the attacker will actually do more damage to the person holding the keys because the impact of the punch will force the keys between the soft tissue in the hands. We need to be conscientious to swipe or punch in an “unnatural” way ensuring the keys only meet our strong finger bones. I know it all sounds silly, but these facts come straight form the mouth of one of the pre-eminent stalking experts and a Police Officer.

I really appreciate this post because I believe that with the injection of entertaining technology we so often lose site of our surroundings. We inadvertently invite opportunistic criminals into our lives and homes by making simple, preventable mistakes just as you’ve pointed out! Situational awareness is critical! Thanks for a great article!

It doesn’t help in NYC, but in most of the cities (towns, burgs …) I visit I carry my .38 and a tube of pepper spray, either on my person or in my car. Concealed weapons training (required for a carry permit) gives you a lot of tools for being aware of and more confident in your surroundings. And if you’re really in trouble, it’s better to rely on your .38 than on your cell phone dialing 911 (or, as it’s known in CWP circles, “dial-a-prayer”). I hope one day that NYC will catch up with the Second Amendment so that not only the criminals have weapons.

Peter this is the most important and life changing post you will write all year. The suggestions you made and that we’re made in the comments were outstanding.

My father was a Boston Police Officer and the three suggestions that he taught all of us that stand out are:

Yell FIRE. It works every time.

Carry your keys with the key between your second and middle finger. Almost anywhere you hit an attacker with a key with force will hurt them. If attacked hit with force where they dont expect – catch then off guard and run.

Trust your gut and don’t worry about hurting someone’s feeling by not getting on the elevator alone with someone who makes you uncomfortable.

A few more ideas…

If you think you are being followed by foot or by car, turn around and walk back past who you think is following you. If they are following you and you abruptly turn around and walk past them you will know quickly if you have a problem if they turn too.

Never put your handbag on the back of your chair at a restaurant or movie theater. Hold it in your lap if you can. Put the strap around the leg of the chair of you put it on the floor.

Put the strap around your shift in the car or on the floor.

Wrap the strap multiple times around the hook in the ladies room.

At the grocery store, wrap the strap around the handle of the carriage.

You get the idea – make it hard to grab and go.

If you are attending a funeral of a family member, be sure to have someone watch the home. The bad guys read the obits and know no one will be home. It just happened to a friend in NH while she was at her Dad’s memorial.

Do not post on social media that you and your family are going say for two weeks – that is too risky.

Thank you Peter for giving this important issue a voice. Once again, you are the voice of reason and common sense. Thank you – it is truly an honor to know you and learn from you.

Sorry for the typos – typing this from my iPhone without my glasses. First one I saw was we’re vs. were. Sorry I know you hate typos.

Exellent article – I just read to my teenage daughters.

Great advice. Best thing I’ve ever read relating to this is Gavin De Becker’s book, the ‘Gift of Fear.’ Directly addresses the ‘trust your gut’ aspect of what you suspect and how to use it to keep yourself safe.

Sometimes, when I look around and see all the oblivious people who would be so easy to rip off, I sort of wish I was a crook. Great post, Peter!

Don’t forget Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality…S.I.N.G. If attacked from behind, go for the Solar plexus with your elbow, Instep with your heel, Nose with the back of your head and Groin with your fist. Stay Safe, Thank Your Peter!

Good suggestions! As someone who has experienced a violent crime at the hands of a stranger, one vital piece of insight I would add is to banish stereotypes of when and where crimes occur. My attack happened in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday in an affluent neighborhood by a man who just looked like a guy— he did not look “creepy.” He was significantly larger than my petite 5’2 frame, but I was able to fight back, outsmart him and survive because I stayed present in the moment and was flexible in my approach. I knew my life depended on it. This link tells the story: http://www.girlsfightback.com/.....d-my-life/ Perhaps, it can be of use to someone! Be safe, everyone.

as someone who’s been stalked and other nasty things i would like to add, especially to women:
* stop being NICE. dont worry about offending someone by not getting on the elevator or crossing the street to walk or turning around and going back down/up the stairs. what’s important is YOUR own personal safety. not the feelings of a stranger! you may look like a nut job but who cares? as long as youre safe, right

we women are trained from birth to be nice and considerate of other people’s feelings. it’s time we stop.

i have even walked down the middle of the road if i needed to walk alone at night.

Great post, Peter. Thanks so much for sharing and spreading such valuable, life saving information. One book that really changed my perspective on trusting my “gut” was The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. A must read, particularly females who have the habit of being “nice” for being thought of as rude. I read that book about 16 years ago and to this day, I feel no pressure to be friendly. Thanks again!

This post is fantastic, Peter! As a pedestrian in a not-so-safe town (Sacramento), who came from an uber-safe area and was mugged within the 1st 6 months of moving here, I wish I’d had this information sooner. I’m now WAY more aware, carry a flashlight, and have stopped listening to music on my headphones when I’m on the train or walking anywhere. Still, these tips are excellent reminders, because after awhile of feeling relatively “safe”, one can get a bit complacent about that sort of thing. I’m definitely going to pass this on to all my Facebook friends and my family & friends who aren’t on there. This is must-read info for anyone, and I’m so grateful to you for posting it! Thanks, Peter!

Great post. Having been a victim of a skilled and highly persuasive criminal, I know now that predators actively seek victims. We generally don’t even conceive of ourselves that way, but we are, and they do.

I also **highly** recommend The Gift of Fear. It’s super-smart, practical and counter-intuitive for almost any woman socialized to “be nice” when our smartest move is to be safe.

Krav maga. Knowing how to defend myself has changed the way would be attackers view me. Twice my confidence has diffused situations without any violence.

Excellent article and terrific follow up comments. Thank you Peter (and gang) for posting this. The only thing I can add to these great tips is IF someone attacks you from the front and you can ‘distract’ them enough to get your hand to the
back of your neck (as if you were checking the label in your shirt) bring your elbow down as hard as you can on your attacker. Your elbow is going to hurt someone a hellava lot more than your hand. You can also hit them again on the
way back up. (say… in their face/nose/eye area). Also, pushing the palm of your hand as hard as you can up into someone’s nose will hurt like hell and distract them for a few seconds so you can run in the other direction. **These are tips my brother taught me, he is a SWAT/K9/Police Officer of 30 years** We are both born and raised in NY so I believe we have that “city kid’ awareness, but it is imperative that I now teach this stuff to my 6 yo without scaring him to death.
Well done Peter! (p.s. My brother’s name is Peter too! *smile)

Everyone has made such great points, I am going to have my children read this and I am sending to my friends.
I would like to add something that my father taught me. Something I try to teach my children, and do try to live by: have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

I spent 23 years working in the subway and I can’t tell you how many times people let their guard down. I can usually sense trouble before it starts.

Thoughts from the subway: Don’t look at the map on the train or the platform for 5 minutes,. It shows the bad guys that you don’t know where you are going. Never stand on the edge of the platform looking for the train to come. It isn’t going to get you there any faster. Very easy to get pushed in front of a train since it is only steps away from the edge.

Great reminder, thanks! I grew up a city girl in a less than friendly part of the world, so I developed this kind of situational awareness early on. Then I moved to Ottawa, Canada, and let me tell you: few things dull your reflexes like the sense of security of a sleepy government town in a friendly and civilized part of the world. Even basic common sense things like keeping your bag zipped up and close to you seem borderline paranoid when you live in a place where returning a lost cash-filled wallet is the norm rather than the exception.

Great stuff! But as a former police officer I’m not comfortable with Janet Powers’ suggestion to turn around and walk past a potential follower. It’s liable to trigger them into doing something they may not have had the chance to do if you simply cross the street.

Thanks Peter. I live in a super small town (pop 3500) where I like to believe that I’m safe. Last spring I was talking with a friend who lives in a large urban area and she told me that she frequently carries a gun with her, especially when she’s going to the bank to make deposits for her company. At the time I told her that I don’t live in the same world, that it isn’t like that in my town. The very next day there was a terribly violent crime committed that took advantage of the pattern of a business owner in town, and was almost certainly committed by people who know the woman who was assaulted. The criminals have not been caught; nearly a year later we don’t know if they are still walking the streets with us. On that day my world changed. My sense of vulnerability was extreme and uncomfortable. I learned how to fire the gun my husband keeps in the house. But more importantly it really made me rethink how I go about my day and the lack of awareness that I have. Your post has been a good reminder. And let me say that a sense of safety in a small town is misplaced. Lock your doors. Be safe.

Yes—trust your gut. Trust yourself and your intuition. Practice trusting your intuition in all the situations in your life–during the decision-making process, in relationships, at work. If you practice acting on your gut, then it will come more naturally if a dangerous situation occurs.

I always have acted like I know where I’m going on my trips out of the country. Act like you live right around the corner. Don’t look like an American tourist. Be street smart in and out of The Big Apple. Don’t look like a scared fragile bird. Look like a determined bird or an angry bird.

I like the zest in your writing Peter and the spirit in which you wrote this is to help others. Keep up the good work. Kudos to you. Cheers.

Oh btw–this should be taken to the major broadcast news sources. Pitch it to CNN, MSNBC, Fox News—I can see you talking about it behind a big desk. Great practical info.

These tips come from personal experience. I was 18, driving home from an 18+ nightclub at 2am (didn’t notice a car following me). ALWAYS CHECK YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR. When I parked in front of my parent’s house, a gangbanger pulled up, jumped out, pointed a gun in my face and told me to get into his car. I turned and RAN SCREAMING, JUMPED A FENCE and got away. Ladies, IF SOMEONE ATTEMPTS TO KIDNAP YOU AT GUNPOINT, DO NOT GET IN THEIR CAR! Your best chance of survival is to get away immediately. Otherwise, IF you survive whatever they do to you, you’ll have to find your way back to safety from wherever they take you. FIGHT OR FLIGHT—DON’T GO QUIETLY.

Tom. Thank you for the feedback. Turning around was something I read a long time ago but I would trust your opinion as a police officer first. Should I remove the comment and repost?

Great suggestions. Here are a few more. 1-Don’t feel obligated to open your front door every time someone knocks on it. I am constantly amazed by the reported stories of older women, living by themselves, who open the door late at night, 10 or 11, because someone knocked on the door. 2-For men and women, especially women, don’t leave anything in your car — purse, package — when you stop at a gas station or just run in a store or a friend’s home “for a minute”. On that same note, ALWAYS lock your car when you go into a gas station, or you may come out and find it isn’t there. THAT quick. 3-At the risk of sounding paranoid, KNOW YOUR NEIGHBORS. I am still amazed about interviews with “neighbors” after a multi-family homicide next door, or the arrest of a child-molestor, or the police closing of a drug house or marijuana-growing house, or a house of prostitution, next door, and the neighbors say “they were such a lovely couple, such beautiful children, or he was such a happy-go-lucky guy with a nice car, or she always was so beautifully dressed”, whatever. Duh. 4-DO have the courage to come forward and report to authorities, police or social services, suspicious people who may be a danger to others or you, and DON’T say, “It’s not my business, I don’t want to get involved” or “I don’t want to be a nosy neighbor”. The life you save may be your own. 4-STOP buying “stuff” on Craig’s List. IMMEDIATELY. All of the rules — meet in a public place, don’t give them your last name or address, etc. are out the window. The bad guys know you have something (to sell) and they are going to get it from you, somehow, by overpowering you, beating you, shooting you or following you (in your car, to your home), whatever it takes. Your life is worth more than a monetary value — the savings (if you are buying) or profit (if you are selling) an item. 5-If you are going to ride the bus or the subway wearing a gold chair or Rolex or send your five year old child to school with a gold chain on his or her neck, don’t expect to own it for long. 6-LOSE THE PURSES, LADIES. Put your ID, money, credit cards and/or passport and airline ticket in your Fanny Pack, especially in another city or country. Put makeup, hair brush, etc., in a shopping bag or get small samples to put in your pockets. 6-Yes, grocery stores are open until all hours, some 24/7, but if you need to shop at night, park close to the store, and ask a store employee to carry your package to your car or accompany you to your car at night. 7-If accosed, male or female, put up a fight as best you can, no matter that you have had no training or experience in fighting; an attacker want an “easy” target with no confrontation. 8- Don’t worry about sounding “nice” or being “polite” – the best answers to someone attempting to delay you by asking questions or directions is a very firm and angry “NO” or “I DON’T KNOW”, and walk away fast. You are not walking down the street to make friends or to supplement the local Chamber of Commerce.

Great tips, thank you and also a good reminder not to get complacent. My contribution is to think of ways your mobile phone – something you pretty much always have with you – can be used to improve your safety, from the built-in flashlight to personal safety apps like sirens or panic buttons. But first and foremost, make sure your phone is always charged, especially if you are going to a new area or traveling alone or late at night.

Great post, as always Peter. I’m also a student of Krav Maga and I’d like to share something our instructor taught us on the first day. If you do miss out on the signs and get stopped by a thug:

1. If they want property, give it to them. 90% of the time they will take the property and leave you alone. Your life is worth much more than your wallet, your phone, or your watch.

2. If they want to move you someplace else, get you into a car, into an alley, a room, etc – fight like hell with everything you have. 90% of the time if a victim is moved into another place they end up raped or dead.

And if things do deteriorate to the point where things become physical remember that there is no honor in fighting. Go for the groin, eyes, whatever. Get yourself out of there alive above all else.

As a New Yorker now living in the San Francisco Bay Area, I want to say thanks to Peter and everyone else for their excellent tips. One more tip…if you are followed while walking down the street, get down and roll under a parked car. Then, start yelling fire.

Peter, thanks for this great post. I highly recommend a book called “The Gift of Fear” that essentially expounds on most of the elements of your message — situational awareness, noticing differences, trusting your gut and not looking like a victim, for a few examples. The author is a security expert who has consulted with celebrities who were being stalked, but his advice, like yours, is universal. It’s a great book that really opened my eyes to things I’d never thought about before.

Great post from Peter and I appreciate all the additional tips from others. I’m presently reading a book called “The Gift: Keeping Children Safe and Parents Sane.” A friend recenly recommended it and it’s been the topic of many dinnertime discussions at our house. I highly recommend it to all parents!

I was so happy to see this Peter! Although our emphasis is safety during crisis and disaster, we preach this message and the like over and over. You reach so many people – it is a generous use of your time. Your readers may feel free to download our ebook here to continue to evolve their safety practices “Disaster Ready People for a Disaster Ready America http://www.firestorm.com/book/ . It is used in major companies, colleges, universities and other organizations and institutions.

A lot of great suggestions here. I was born and raised in Las Vegas and have encountered my fair share of weirdos and scary situations. My dad enrolled me in karate at 12, and I’ve been taking it for almost 16 years. I would recommend it to anyone — it increases confidence, automatically provides that sense of awareness, and is also great for staying in shape. If you have martial arts training, you won’t carry yourself like a victim. While not everyone will want to go all the way to black belt, having self defense training is beneficial for all.

Ditto on locking the car doors — immediately. Years ago, my dad had someone try to get into his truck while at a light.

Don’t make yourself vulnerable (drunk) around strangers. One or two drinks should be more than enough when you’re not among people you know well.

Don’t wear a scarf. It’s gives an attacker an easy way to choke you.

A few things I learned from the Metro Toronto cops who put on a self-defense course for women after assaults had occurred in our office building.

1. Don’t hold your keys between your fingers. Instead, keep them clenched in your fist with keys protruding. You can jab with a full set of keys and punch with your fist without breaking your own fingers.

2. Always check who’s in an elevator before you get in. And DO take the elevator, not the stairs unless they’re completely open and public. Get your step fitness elsewhere.

3. Your objective should always be to get away from your attacker. Apparently, men will flee as soon as an attacker is temporarily neutralized but women will stand their ground and beat the guy to a bloody pulp before they’ll run away! Makes sense to me. It’s because we want to make absolute certain he can’t get up and come after us again. But that’s the wrong thing to do.

4. Kicking a man in the groin just makes him angry. If he’s on drugs, he may not even feel it. Much better to poke his eyes, Adam’s apple, use your palm to push his nose up hard or smack both his ears at the same time. There’s also a spot on the outside of the upper thigh, about 4″ above the knee. It doesn’t take much force at all to knock a man to the ground just by punching, kicking or just applying steady pressure to that tender spot. Locate it on yourself by applying pressure with your thumb and running it along that thigh muscle – you’ll know when you’ve found it.

With sincere apologies to all the good men out there, including Peter for posting these tips.. :)

Peter – thank you for taking the time to put this together. I’ve had only a bit of physical defense training but at the time I took the class, we were given the opportunity to pound the crap out of a man all suited up in protective gear. It was a completely freaky, but empowering experience. Freaky because we’re taught NOT to do this and it was difficult to take it seriously…at first. And then it sort of became a bit more real because it was the guy’s job to be kind of an aggressive jerk. It felt good to defend myself, even if I knew I’d have some difficulty ever fighting anyone off, being a 110lb, 5’2″ woman with advanced Rheumatoid Arthritis. I can’t even make a fist.

A few nights ago I was walking out to my car after an evening meeting. It was in a well-lit parkade and there was quite a bit of foot traffic, but I was thinking about what I would do if I was attacked. It’s one of my greatest fears — because of my Arthritis I stiffen up if I sit for long, and here I was, walking very stiffly and slowly to my car, laden down with a heavy laptop bag. I did NOT feel safe or in control, and if the light was dim or I was alone, I would not have wanted to be there.

This is great information, and a post I’ll be passing along to ask many people as I can.

EVERY WOMAN should take a self defense class, a workshop is better than nothing but studying some form of martial arts for at least a year, is not only great exercise, but may end of saving your life one day. Krav Maga is probably the best for self defense, but anything is better than nothing. Just do it… it is a great stress reliever, you’ll meet new friends, get a great workout and learn how to defend yourself and if you feel intimidated, step out of your comfort zone. You will be surprised!

Thank you for this post, Peter. In concert with what others have already mentioned, “The Gift of Fear” is a great read — certainly the one I think of most when I’m out by myself.

It bears repeating that your instincts are there for a reason. It’s also important to remember *NOT* to be afraid of hurting people’s feelings when your personal safety is on the line. If you don’t want to get into an elevator with someone, or sit on the train next to someone, there is no need to explain to them why.

It has been done well here, what I found interesting for me how second hand this all is to me, but I had a Dad who was on the reserves with the Sheriffs department and as a Texas gal I learned to shoot at an early age. Yup we really do just shot em in Texas!

I love this post. You hit the nail on the head, as usual. I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY and spent my teenage years in the projects in East New York so I know a lot about the need to be well aware of your surroundings at all times.

An important point you make is to have you keys in your hand. I have first hand experience with this need which is why I invented Charming KEYper. I was in a mall parking lot (the #2 most dangerous places for women) with my young children and I was approach by an “unsavory” character. Fighting with a stroller, diaper bag, children, etc. I was struggling to get to my keys and secure my children. Charming KEYper allows women to quickly and easily retrieve their keys from their purse. You can attach so many things to KEYper like a whistle and flashlight. We hold the patent on Charming KEYper and manufacture in North Carolina.

As we like to say, Charming KEYper keeps your keys, keeps your phone and keeps you safe. I would love to offer your readers and an opportunity to try our Charming KEYper. You just can’t believe the positive impact this little invention has on your life. Please drop me a line back and let me know how you would like to arrange this.

Thanks for the opportunity. Keep the blogs coming. I always enjoy reading them. I love that I can usually take something from them and incorporate into my life immediately.

Best regards,
Kim Mack
kmack@CharmingKEYper.com

Great post—too many people are busy with extraneous items and are not thinking that they could be the next victim. You mentioned having your keys available–We have a wonderful product for women, Finders Key Purse, that allows you to find your keys in an instant rather than “do the dig” that you talked about. Every woman should own one of these for the reasons you discussed with your keys.
Thanks for the tips.

If you sense something / someone out of place while walking on the sidewalk, and your gut tells you the situation / person is bad, move off the sidewalk and safely walk in the street. The chances of them following you into traffic is slim.

Aw, if only common sense was common. Good tips which, I’m happy to say, I was taught growing up outside of Boston. Along the lines of having your keys out in advance, have the longest key between two fingers sticking out – a surprise weapon if you need one.

You have a lot of stuff for the public-transportation set. Here’s something to note for the drivers: Gas stations are one of the top-three places for being the victim of a crime. (Mall parking lot and ATM are the other two.)
1 – PAY ATTENTION while you’re pumping your gas. Is someone coming towards you? Is there something weird going on inside the station?
2 – LOCK YOUR DOORS. I know you’re right next to your car, but your purse/briefcase/computer is likely on the passenger seat and it is a matter of seconds for someone to open the door, grab it, and run (or jump in a getaway car)
Also – the three easiest ways to make yourself a victim:
1 – Be on your phone. Hang up and pay attention! Call the person back when you’re somewhere you know is safe.
2 – Run out of gas. Hello people!!! My dad used to say: “It’s just as easy to fill up at a quarter-tank as it is when you’re on “E”. Running out of gas makes you a sitting duck.
2 – Be alone. This is more difficult – sometimes it’s unavoidable. But, think about it and see if you can’t have somene tag along with you as much as possible. According to experts, even having a baby or small child with you can deter crimminals. It’s just too much of a wild-card to have more than one person to deal with. You have some great advice here for when you do have to be on your own.
Thanks for starting this. As they used to say on Hill St. Blues: “Let’s all be careful out there.”

I’d add something about being followed: if you think you are being followed, the worst thing you can do is go to your destination. It may be that the attack is imminent, but it may also be that the bad guys are tracking your routine in order to attack at some other time. Instead, continue as you are going and try to go to as crowded a place as possible. If you know where it is, diverting to your local police station is a good choice. Wherever you were actually going, it’s OK if you’re late. Really.

By the way, the same advice applies when you are driving, especially if you suspect road rage in the person that’s following you. Drive on. Drive past wherever you were going and go around the block to see if they are still following you. Or just drive to the police station.

Notice the small things that don’t matter thus even be dangerous, from now on we must be vigilant at the start of ourselves

Know where your assets are if something happens. Near a corporate building? Do they have a security guard? Are there still any public phones around? Where’s the nearest hospital or “doc in the box,” and what are their hours? Bus station or location where you can get a cab? How about emergency call boxes? Or a grocery store if you need first aid items? Good situational awareness is as much about recognizing your assets as it is about knowing the dangers.

Great post — the one thing I’d add is that you shouldn’t think it can’t happen to you. In 2007, I was going to jury duty, running a few minutes late, and I parked on the lower level of a brand new country parking garage where the lighting was iffy. I slipped and fell, catching the toe of my shoe on a bolt sticking up from the floor, and I fell between two giant SUV’s. My purse — with my cell phone in it — was out of reach under one of the cars, and my pelvis was broken in three places. I fell between 7:45 and 8 a.m. — and wasn’t found until after 11 a.m. Having my phone in my pocket, or my purse firmly under my arm on a short shoulder bag, a whistle, or even a flashlight might have gotten me to the hospital hours sooner. I was lucky…a county security officer making his rounds finally found me. But what if I’d gotten a head injury, or as you said, had a ruptured appendix? Being aware — and taking precautions — is something I’ll never forget again.

I have two children and from the time they could understand me I took them to the mall (because it was a busy place) and explained to them about the dangers of strangers. Being there made it more real. More importantly, We rehearsed what would happen if they got lost — where to go and what to do. How to locate a security guard, go into a store and ask for a clerk, etc. Most important of all, I taught them that if they were ever in a situation where someone grabbed them they were to SCREAM BLOODY MURDER, and don’t stop — because a child abductor doesn’t want to be noticed. They are grown now and both safe and sound. Thanks Peter for a phenomenal article!

There have been a lot of problems with “grab and run” on the Chicago L. During the winter, my parka has an inside, zip pocket. That’s where my wallet goes. My phone stays in my front pants pocket. During warmer months, both phone and wallet are in my laptop case, which is heavy. The case is slung over my neck and under arm, instead of just over one shoulder.

Hi Peter,

Glad I found your blog. And this post is really helpful. It’s really important to be aware of what’s going on around us. Robbers usually target people of all ages who seem unaware and distracted. That means people who are loading bags into their cars, holding their gadgets while walking, or people talking on their cellphones are more likely to become a victim. So for us to tell if someone is looking to rob or attack us is to be keenly aware of our surroundings, there are signs, so we need to be aware tp pick up on them.

Thanks.

Nadine

Thanks for sharing :-)

Two tips that I would add are 1) if someone’s following you consider jumping on a bus if one’s passing by, and 2) Add an ICE (In Case Of Emergency) # to your cell phone contact list – I learned that the hard way when I was hit by a drunk driver and it took my friends over an hour to track down my family because they didn’t know their first names.

Great post, Peter. This is an area I hear quite a bit about as you can appreciate. As the creator of patented PortaPocket strap-onto-the-body carrying cases….my team often get contacted by those who have had a scary experience along these lines which has prompted their efforts to seek us out. My tip is to never keep your valuables in your purse or bag….but rather always wear them discreetly on your person. Although we can’t stop others’ bad behaviors …we can minimize our chances for risk. In these challenging economic times, desperation is often the catalyst. People are more and more likely to know someone who has been victimized or get threatened themselves. we recently had contact from a gal who had sought solutions after having been been held up at gunpoint. She’d looked around and was thrilled to find us. Her words gave me encouragement that we are on the right path. After all, that’s really our true mission and passion — to help people help themselves. For her words…please see EJs statement under Testimonials at http://www.portapocket.com

I just drive a tank around NYC, crushing cars and people in my way while knocking small buildings over. It seems to give people the impression that I am to be left alone.

I’ve been teaching crime prevention skills for more than 18 years. Here’s my Big 10 for Keeping Yourself Safe to add to what’s been said: http://www.fightsafe.com/2011%20pdf/Big10.pdf

Peter this is an awesome article on what really should be common sense. As a black belt who’s taught a few self-defense classes, I have two additional suggestions. First, invest in a self-defense class. It will be worth every penny you spend. Second, buy a kubaton. It is a metal rod with a swivel to attach your keys at one end. Rather than keeping your keys between your fingers, this devise allows you to whip your keys around and the metal rod sticks out from the bottom of your hand which makes any downward striking blow all the more painful. Just be careful, it can kill if you hit that spot behind the ear!

I can handle myself, and unfortunately have had to in the past….but if I’m heading to show property and have a “gut feeling”, I always make sure a colleague knows where I am going, and when to expect to hear a call back from me.

Thanks for the reminders! As a city kid, I was also taught to avoid all parked vans. I still do. Too easy to be grabbed. I usually cross the street before walking by. When being followed, I walk toward lights and crowd, head up and striding forcefully to my destination. If driving and being harassed , same thing or head for the nearest police station.