I Have Seen the Douchebag. And He is (some of) Us.

PETER SHANKMAN

POSTED ON March 17th, 2010

56 COMMENTS

I woke up this morning, my first night home after a very successful South by Southwest, to a hungry cat at 5:30am. I was exhausted, and pushed her away. Turns out, she wasn’t so much hungry, as she was trying to inform me of a shitstorm brewing in the comments section of a well-written blog post, about how there were way too many douchebags at an otherwise excellent conference. She’s a very smart cat.

The short story – A blog post was posted about someone at a party who yelled at a volunteer. It wasn’t me. However, under the influence of too much tequila, I posted a comment on Twitter inside the TechKaraoke party that was taken totally out of context. I was talking about Karaoke, and from the comment, it was inferred that I was slinging some power to be let into a party. People put two and two together, and assumed it was me. For the record: It wasn’t. I have countless people (both old friends and new friends) who were there and have already set the record straight. I’ve also talked via telephone to the party organizer, Jen Wojcik, and we’ve resolved the case of mistaken identity. I’m a huge fan of her events, but more importantly, I don’t talk down to ANYONE, regardless of where I am or what I’m doing, be it at a party, or the local bodega. That’s simply not me. This paragraph had to be written to give this blog post some context, but this blog post isn’t about me, or what I did or didn’t do.

Please note: Any suggestions I offer in this blog post are directed to anyone who feels they’re worth adopting, INCLUDING ME. I’m calling myself out here too.

Here’s the deal guys. At the end of the day, life comes down to RESPECT. That’s it. Life comes down to respect. I don’t care how big you think you are, or how many “Successes” you’ve had. If you’re not respectful, you won’t be long for this world.

My mom and dad were teachers all their lives, in the working class of New York City. And they taught me respect. They taught me, most importantly, to never forget where I came from. And I hope that I’ve shown them respect by trying to live by that creed. Do I fail occasionally? Hells to the yes. We all do. But it’s bigger than that.

NONE OF US ARE EVER SO IMPORTANT THAT WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO TALK DOWN TO THOSE WHO WE FEEL ARE NOT.

The gist of Thomas Myerman’s blog post was thus: This small event, South by Southwest, has, in a way, become the victim of its own success. When people like Ashton Kutcher show up and ride the Zappos happiness bus, it’s no surprise that the douchebags of the industry will show up, also. Not calling Ashton a douchebag by any means, just making a point.

Myerman simply stated that way too many people showed up at South by Southwest, believing their own hype. As such, this year’s event had several “bad moments,” far more than any other SXSW in previous years.

And he’s right.

Ladies and Gentlemen of my industry: I propose a credo: “WE ARE NOT AS IMPORTANT AS WE THINK WE ARE.”

Say it with me.

There is NEVER any excuse for talking down to a volunteer, raising your voice, or putting on airs about how great you are – EVER. Let’s fact it – Doing it at the door of a party won’t help you anyway, because chances are, the person working the door is a volunteer who has never heard of your ego-inflated ass. And yes, your ass looks fat in that ego. There. I said it.

If we want to continue to be taken seriously as an industry, we need to remember that we’re not rock stars. We’re not playing sold out stadiums, and we’re most certainly not curing diseases, or helping mal-nourished kids get food or get healthy by writing a fucking treastise on how you can market your brand better by using FourSquare.

We need to step back and realize this. All of us, some to more of an extent than others. And yes, from time to time, that includes me. And chances are, from time to time, that includes you.

I, for one, don’t want to see South by Southwest turn into a conference no one wants to attend because all the assholes attend it. I saw this happen in 2000 at another massive conference that started out small, at a little hotel in mid-town Manhattan in the mid-90s. By the time it took over the entire LA Convention Center in 2001, it was painful to attend. We can’t let this happen. I for one, will go on record and attempt to do my part to MAKE SURE this doesn’t happen.

I built HARO on a foundation of helping people. In the process, it turned into a good company, a solid company that generates decent revenue. But the core has stayed intact – We, as leaders in the social media space, or hell, even as just users of the tools, need to take a more proactive approach to helping people, and a less active approach to making sure people know who we are.

Because if we continue with the latter, everyone will know who we are – And they’ll go out of our way to avoid us. We can’t let that happen because we our egos have clouded our vision. Our actions, and how they serve other people, are a billion times more important than how we come across. Because if our actions don’t help to serve the greater good, we’ll come across like assholes. We need to remember this.

I’m not going to censor any comments left here. I’ll approve them all, good or bad. Want to say something? Say it below.

PS: Heather Whaling wrote a similar piece yesterday – Worth the read.

Dave Nadkarni

I hope people from every industry will always remember my favorite quote from this, ““WE ARE NOT AS IMPORTANT AS WE THINK WE ARE.”

Thanks Peter!
http://www.susanstrayer.com Susan Strayer

This is so true…but for every industry. In a world where some of us stay corporate and big company and others can spend 24/7 on themselves as a brand, it’s a sentiment bound to emerge. It’s why I don’t tweet every waking hour, or blog every second, or profess to know everything about my industry. Here’s my lesson: the people who proclaim to know it all never do and silence is really golden. Sit in session or panel like at SXSW and the one person who doesn’t speak up, or does so only when he/she has something really profound to say, is the one to listen to. And we can ALL learn from that.
Greg Surber

I’ve long thought humility needs to be the underlying value of public relations. Here here Peter.
http://brian.shaler.name Brian

I was tentative about this year’s sxsw, but I was relieved to see almost all of the awesome people I was looking forward to seeing (not sure if our 2 seconds in passing was enough to count..) and fewer social media douchebags than expected. I probably see a completely different set of people, because the awesome people know me from years ago, and the douchebags only know who’s relevant today. I became a has-been just in the nick of time! ;-)
miriam zapata

i thought the point of sxsw was for people to find out who you are. so if theres ever a place to say it.., this is it. of course, if you dont care, well then volunteers can just do their job and expect this. at the end of the day, the volunteer will have a good blog/extra story to tell. plus its not like they’re arent already assholes in austin before sxsw. austin is awesome, i dont care how douchey sxsw gets, someone new may be discovering it. its a party, with alcohol, dress accordingly and then go home. thanks.
tricia keating

Peter, clearly someone forgot their “Top Gun” quotes, the best being…’Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash’. Most, if not ALL of us would never assume you were the unkind person. Thanks for the SXSW reports. Tricia
Jen

As a person who is often asked to work the door at many high profile events, I can tell you one very important thing…the douchebags don’t get in and don’t get invited back. I don’t care if you are a rock star selling out arenas! (and it’s been my experience with the rock stars, that they are actually gracious and kind, it’s their agents, publicists and managers that are douches).

Great points you make, Peter, and I would add that we cannot afford to make assumptions as to who anyone is, their level of education, expertise or whatever…think any of the people who try to push past me at a door that I’m working know I’m a pretty well regarded psychologist who does this for “fun?” Probably not…but they do talk to me like I am an idiot with nothing to offer…little to they know.

So, as one of the “bouncers” (as I have been called)…take a step back, reevaluate…we are all important. Respect, kindness and patience will get you everywhere.
Pattie Roberts

Well, Peter, I can say that when I met you in NY last summer at a HARO cocktail party, you were darn decent to me and I am quite sure you didn’t know who I am, so I for one can vouch for you. I heartily endorse the adoption of WE ARE NOT AS IMPORTANT AS WE THINK WE ARE, and not just in the PR or events industry. It ought to be engraved on every ID badge of every employee in every company, and that goes double for those in customer-facing positions. In addition to those who badger and berate “the little people” (i.e., anyone who isn’t them) at events, I would include anyone, anywhere, anytime. To quote Olympia Dukakis in “Moonstruck”: “No matter what you do, you’re still gonna die.” Try getting past that little velvet rope with an ego…

Cheers, and keep up the good work!
http://www.prtini.com Heather Whaling

Peter, you rock. I wasn’t at SXSW, but I’ve noticed — and heard from a number of people — that social media is becoming very “clique-ish.” No one liked cliques in high school, so why would they want to join a space where the “cool kids” (i.e., the ones with the inflated egos that you mention here) only talk to other cool kids? I despise cliques and people who think they’re better than other people. That’s actually what led me to my blog post today (which was inspired by Chris Brogan’s post about needing to do more). I’m setting aside 20 mins a day for two weeks to Skype with new people. (New meaning people I’m somehow connected to online, but have never met IRL or barely tweeted/emailed with.) Clearly, talking to me isn’t nearly as exciting as talking to you, or Chris or others like yourselves, but that’s ok. My goal is to break out of my “online comfort zone” and get to know some new people. Maybe we can help each other … maybe not. The point is that I want to do my little part to eradicate the notion that Twitter/social media is just for certain cliques of people. In reality, I’ve met lots of incredibly kind, generous people, some of whom I’m happy to call my friends now.

Excellent post!

Heather
@prTini
Wendy A

Nice, helpful response to an unfortunate case of mistaken identity.
http://www.michellesblog.net Michelle Greer

We are important. We have the obligation to teach people who are very confused in a bad economy how the web can help them and we are failing.
http://uber.la John McElhenney

Well put Peter. The douches were out in force this year. And perhaps I was one as well. I try to stay on the positive side of things these days, believing that you get what you give. BUT… And that’s a big BUT… There were some aggegious moments this year. The top of the bad form being the Evan Williams Twitter keynote. What a miss. You’d think someone of his stature would see past the lame questions his pseudo-interviewer came up with, amidst his own self-revelations, but then what did we really expect?

I for one was hoping that Twitter was going to reveal something uber-cool. Instead we got an internet luminary talking about open doors, open windows and doing good for the world. WHAT?

So it’s no wonder that the crowds that packed in to see @ev were streaming just as fast to get out at about 00:31 on the clock. I don’t like the term douchebag, myself, but the arrogance was in force. And the blinders of the two men on stage could not have been more apparent.

Next year, let’s all do better! I’ll do my part and complain less. Or try to, anyway.

@jmacofearth
Pingback: SXSW Wrap Up for 2010: Pumpin the High 5s and Droppin the Lows #sxsw final update | uber.la
http://schiffandschiff.com/blog JenniferS

Great cat. Great post. Though with that attitude you’ll never get a job on Wall Street. ;-)

Btw, if you all have not seen “5 Signs You’re Talking to a Social Media Douchebag,” be sure to check it out; ditto “5 Steps to Becoming a Social Media Douchebag.”
Frederick

I’m asking this as objectively and neutrally as possibly Peter, as I have no personal reason to doubt you, but the circumstantial evidence of the blog comments versus what your twitter post was have a very high correlation.

They’re claiming you flaunted your way into a party, and your tweet read:
“Because I’m Peter H….. Shankman,” that’s why I’m on the list!” And it worked to get us into a capacity party! #amazeditworked

Could you explain, so that naysayers understand, how exactly this was taken out of context and somehow related towards Karaoke? Because it seems directly aimed at “getting into a capacity party”…
Welshwonder

Peter – This is just one of the 1000 reasons why most people do not take anything that’s posted on Twitter seriously or rely on Twitter for actual substantiated news, as actual real news agencies, journalists and reporters for the most part are regulated, qualified and have some kind of higher power to answer to when they mess up! Had someone actually called you (you know, talking with their mouths) and confirmed that you were in fact NOT the person in question) all this would be moot. Maybe its jealousy because you actually make a living from Social Media rather than the 97% of Twitter that don’t, but you know the old adage – Those who can do, those who can’t…talk about people who can!
http://beTMdesign.com brenda be

great article peter. no matter the industry, no matter the context. and the truth is, once you try it, it’s nice to be nice. it Pays Off personally, professionally, and gee whiz, spiritually. the world needs as many reminders in as many contexts as it can get. thanks.
http://www.danrosenbaum.com Dan Rosenbaum

After a couple of decades in print and online publishing about tech, I found myself a few years ago editing a magazine for firefighters and EMTs. In tech, everyone thinks they’re saving lives. In emergency management, they really do — and most of them do it for amounts of money that come to rounding error on a typical options package.

It’s not like the first responders don’t get all, “Hey — I’m saving *lives* here!” every 20 minutes or so. But most of them back it up with levels of personal commitment, responsibility and integrity, and they expect the same the people they come into contact with. Like magazine editors. It’s a way different (and better) world than one that’s focused on Round B funding and exit strategies.

Here’s a flash: no one really cares about your socmed launch because you probably haven’t thought it through and it isn’t going to change the world and frankly, it’s been done before. What makes HARO work is precisely its humility. The first word is “Help,” it grew organically (I know because I was there) and while Shankman is at the center of it, he’s not the focus of it.

*That*’s the lesson.
http://shankman.com Peter Shankman

@Frederick: I certainly can. I’d had waay too much to drink, and was using the “I got bumped up the list” thought re Karaoke as to what I thought would be a funny Tweet. Had I been sober, it wouldn’t have been. No doubt whatsoever that the evidence on Twitter isn’t in my favor – What is, though, are the multiple people (@jakrose, @tfln, @nikkisnotes, @mwalker117) who walked in with me, and saw that nothing of the kind happened.

Yes – It was a stupid, drunken tweet, and I was trying to boast about something. It was far from a smart thing to do – but the coincidence of the two things were just that – coincidence. I guarantee you, somewhere on that street, there’s a surveillance camera that caught us walking in without a problem.

If I said or did anything to the woman working the door, I was far from aware of it, and I’d be happy to discuss with her, as well – The drinks came after I got into the party – so it’s not like I don’t remember what I did.

Thanks for commenting, Frederick – Hope this answers your question.
Frederick

Disregard.

I just dug a little deeper on the comments of the original blog section and found your explanation. Makes sense now, sorry.
http://www.tylerjorgenson.com Tyler Jorgenson

Peter, thank you for the post. There is a little Douche Bag in all of us, and we have to fight it. I’m reminded of the Bill & Ted quote, ‘Be Excellent To Each Other’

Cheers,

Tyler
Frederick

And on a related note, +1 to the entire anti-douche philosophy. I absolutely dread going to GDC, E3 and several other annual conferences now for this exact douchey reason… the conferences quickly become more about who can flaunt their proverbial cock around to get on lists to parties versus the actual expos or lectures. And what’s worse is it is currently ENCOURAGED, because that’s where “the real business is”…

Good read, thanks for sharing and putting yourself out there like that Peter… maybe conferences should hire anti-douche police.
http://www.relaxedpolitics.com TexBetsy

Thanks for posting this. As a transplanted New Yorker now in Austin, I wonder if there’s a huge miscommunication between the way that people raised in NY react in these situations and the manners expected in Texas. Here, it’s much more quiet and reserved, but everyone knows it’s legal for you to be carrying a concealed gun.
http://tjcnyc.wordpress.com Tom Cunniff

IMHO, a big part of the problem is the emphasis on “building a personal brand”.

What some of us are missing is the fact that just as it is with companies, personal brands are built on what we DO, not what we say.

Real businesses (and HARO is a good example) are built on serving an unmet need.

Service, not self-aggrandizement, is how good stuff happens.
http://twitter.com/riverbyte Tanya Hilleary

Disclaimer: I’ve never attended SXSW, but it seems to be a bit of a convergence of media and entertainment, techies and indy bands. It seems…random… to me. Ashton Kutcher on the @Zappos happy bus is a PR stunt, not some social movement made real. I’m just saying…

Yeah, this happens. It happens at every trade show “after hours” event everywhere. It happened at COMDEX, it happened at Internet World, E3, CES… all those “it” events of the past. It will happen wherever industry leaders gather. People of influence want access to people of influence.

What’s so ironic about this in the Social Media realm is…we already have that access. Hello, Twitter, blogs, facebook, you name it next-big-thing.

One can go direct, and while no doubt it could be interesting to chat up Peter at a party while drinking sponsored drinks to find out what makes him tick and determine how we can do business together, it is no longer as necessary as it once was. The channels of communications have broadened considerably.

I remember PR colleagues – quite literally- waiting for the tech celeb du jour outside of the restroom so they could “casually” connect and do a product pitch. Seriously. It was scary-sad back in the day.

Now, we need to convince someone you’re worth talking to in 140 characters or less, because they’ll get your Tweet. And then maybe, you can have coffee at some reasonable place with no music, lights, sounds, and distractions. Ultimately, what we want, is attention. But is a loud crushing party really the way to get it? As I’ve gotten older, wiser, and far more experienced in my field, I’m doubting that.

So yes to all of the above – treat people with respect, the same way you would want to be treated. And if you *don’t* get into that capacity party, don’t sweat it. Like @prTini points out, this isn’t about the clique. There are plenty of other things to do in the conference town, and events where one can play/be social and meet other great contacts. You never know where that next lead can come from, after all.
Claudia D’Avanzo

Amen!
http://pinqued.com Jen Wojcik

Peter,

Thank you for this post. As one of the event organizers for TechKaraoke, I was astonished and frankly taken aback by the number of giant heads walking the streets of my hometown over the weekend.

No…Most of us DON’T know “Who you are” (You in the royal sense). Furthermore…we really don’t care.

I do want your readers to understand that we LOVE hosting SXSW. We LOVE hosting you. We LOVE entertaining you. We WANT YOU ALL HERE.

All we ask is for a little patience, a little courtesy and respect. We work incredibly hard to prepare for SXSW so that everyone will have a great time.

It’s good for the conference, It’s good for our city & it’s good for our community as a whole.

For my part…I will say this: If you want to come here, be nice & party with us…come on..we will welcome you with open arms. If you are going to be rude, pushy & obnoxious…take it elsewhere.

Thanks again for being willing to step up & talk about it.

We appreciate it.

Jen Wojcik
Pinqued
http://www.convinceandconvert.com Jay Baer

Peter – I applaud you for writing this post, as I applaud Tom for writing his. As I said in my SXSW wrap-up post, there’s definitely a heightened level of “look at me” in the broad, social media arena. Why? Because some people are actually having success (real or imagined). For some, it’s the first time they’ve ever really been noticed on a larger scale, and that comes with great responsibility. Also, the very nature of SXSW and its size makes having things like “VIP” etc, more common, which does not help in the least.

I had an experience similar to Tom’s at one point at SXSW, denied entrance by a well-known social media type to whom I’ve actually sent thousands of dollars of business referrals. Needless to say, I’m updating my holiday card list accordingly.

But, your core premise is 1000% right. I would argue that there is only one person in the whole social media game that can rightly cop an attitude because he’s jumped to mainstream notoriety, and that’s Gary Vaynerchuk. Ironically, he may be the best person of us all.

I wrote a post quite some time ago called “My Mom Thinks Chris Brogan is a Hockey Player.” It was true then, and it’s still true. Fewer people know you, me and everyone else in the social media space than know guys making squirrel videos on YouTube. We need a reality check and some manners.

We need to spend more time thanking our lucky friggin’ stars that we get paid to travel around the country telling people how important social media is, and writing books.

We need to spend less time creating our own mental pecking orders.
http://www.nannymama.com Barbara

Can I ask you a question? So if we are not important, then who does deserve respect… I agree with you Peter. But I also agree that we are important and that is why many of us are passionate about helping others like you are. Which makes it all the much MORE important to be respectful, and kind,….. and use the old adage, Do Unto others as you would have them do unto you. We are all ordinary people that are capable of extraordinary things. More of us should practice that. I say keep building a business of integrity and stay true to yourself.
Gordon

It happens in all of the online world these days – because the industry is online, some get more attention by default because they have a big blog and suddenly they get attention from strangers and think that makes them a “cool cat”.

It happens at affiliate conferences, seo conferences, domain conferences – but I bet it doesn’t happen nearly as much at furniture conferences and office supply conferences….
Pingback: Storytelling Social Media Marketing PR Technology & Business Curated Stories Mar. 17, 2010
josh

Can we “face” it as well as “fact” it?
http://www.techguerilla.com Matt Ridings @techguerilla

I must say, it was a sigh of relief knowing that the guy I’d just related so closely to (re: Lion post) wasn’t the same douche I was hearing about.

Keep on keeping on
http://bwoj.com Brian Wojcik

Thank you, Peter for stepping forward and speaking out on this topic.

For my part, I got added to the VIP list for a party earlier in the week because of the work I and others did for the organizers. And it turns out there’s nothing glamorous to it… it’s not like getting the key to the penthouse suite. We got in an hour earlier than everyone else and then things were awkward with our friends because we were now getting “special” treatment.

So anyone that demands VIP treatment really doesn’t have any perspective on the “importance” in the greater scheme of the work that goes on in social media.
http://yourvoa.webs.com/ Desiree

This doesn’t apply to any specific industry. It should apply to mankind. Do unto others people. I don’t care who you think you are.
John Williams

Thanks for this wonderful reminder, Peter!

I’ve grown amazed at the knowledge and capabilities that reside in all of us, each a different mix. During the (thankfully) few times I’ve found myself thinking I was becoming something of a “guru” in my field, some unlikely person has passed through and left me looking like an idiot. Indeed, we are NOT as important as we think we are.

That homeless guy begging for change? He knows tons of stuff you never will. Give him a quarter.
Lori @PokerVixen

I have the wonderful luxury of using Social Media entirely for the Social aspect of it, without Media applications. I’ve made some wonderful friends via Twitter and reading blogs that are now a key part of my social life.

It frustrates me to see people who put the emphasis on the media part of Social Media. Who try tweet things they think will get a response and censor themselves to never offer an opinion. That work to become the mayor of the entire city because they think that shows how influential they are and who try to use their ‘clout’ to get free stuff from brands. That’s how they ‘make a living’

I live in Las Vegas and those that tweet the loudest, or with most repetition are definitely the ones that provide no value. I worry about how they make our tech and SM scene look actually. Too many Vegas brands are still fooled by their crap. Can’t wait until they see past the gold plating and see there is no substance.

For Gordon, I will say, I use to consult with service contractors (Plumbers, Electricians, HVAC guys) There is rockstars in every industry and their are the douchebags that try hard to be in the spotlight but you come to find they really aren’t successful. In the exact same way we see them in SM. It’s rather fascinating actually.
Bob Snitchler

Well said. Everyone is entitled to respect and follower counts or subscriber counts don’t make you any more, or less, deserving of respect than the next person.
@MrMomWorld
http://www.twitter.com/stiennon Stiennon

Just what “industry” are you all talking about? A whole lot of people contributing to a whole lot of talking, tweeting, posting, blogging, and video does not an industry make. Sure there is money changing hands. Sure there is a *lot* of activity. But that is not an industry. A community maybe.
Dan G

I am wondering what the DB conference of 2001 was. Sounds like a particular conference for people in the gaming industry that became a festival of loud, truly obnoxious people aching to try the latest games and see the eye candy in the booths. It was so loud on the show floor that Tylenol set up a booth distributing samples and earplugs. (Really — you can’t make that up.) I was not sad to see said conference collapse under its own weight — I dealt with the organizers and they were… um… well… let’s just say they believed they were more important to the world than they apparently were.

Life is short… yours and everyone else’s. Respect that. If you act like a DB, you infringe on someone else’s short time on the planet. What if your life were shortened by the amount of time you made that other person feel belittled? If that did not make you think twice, then you truly are a bag o’ douche.
http://twitter.com/luannsaid LuAnn Glowacz (@luannsaid)

Well done. You and Tom are both class acts.
http://www.katemorris.com Kate Morris

Best line ever. “And yes, your ass looks fat in that ego. There. I said it.”

Peter, thank you for being an adult about the whole situation and helping identify who the douche was for real. I am an Austinite who knows and loves everyone involved and I am so happy this got resolved between those parties.

But you are so right and so is Thomas. We all do need to take a step back and take the credit we are given by others and give it back out again. We are all here due to many other people’s influence, advice, or other goodwill. We have had teachers, parents, friends, mentors, and colleagues who have made us who we are. So I say in response to Barbara’s question, we give credit to those that inspire us, who have been our muses, talked to us until 3 am about a seemingly impossible idea, who stood by us as we tried and failed, and tried again. It is these people that deserve respect. We are merely a part of a bigger world.
http://www.bensmithee.com Ben Smithee (@SpychResearch)

This year’s SXSWi was the first time I had the opportunity to meet Peter in person. I, for one, will tell you that I am no celebrity or Twitteratti. I will also say, Peter was one of the nicest folks I met down in ATX this year. Not only did he invite us to take a ridiculously awesome skydiving trip (#SXSkydiving) on Sat, gave people ride out, and took the plunge for a Whataburger trip, but also took the time to say hi and chat every time we ran into each other at parties, on the streets, or at the ACC etc. He even took the time in his own presentation to give a shoutout and thank my friend @Johnfilm for helping him out with some video.

None of the above was necessary, and none felt forced or insincere. Glad the situation seems to be resolved and put in its true light, but honestly….everyone has a lapse in judgment, tact or otherwise, and there is no point in replicating the Hollywood celebrity model of hanging upon every single word, action and fashion choice of A-listers and then flaming them as soon as they are less than perfect.

People who live in glass houses……shouldn’t walk around naked! ;)

Thanks for hanging this week Peter! Had a great time!
http://www.DavideBenjamin.com David Benjamin

I found it interesting today to read so many blog posts about negative experiences at south by. One after another complained about the panels, the egos, the long lines, etc. I get it, it wasn’t perfect but with that many people…what do you expect. In the end, I think the people complaining need to look in the mirror.

No matter what the surroundings may be, we all have control of our enjoyment. If you choose to sulk instead of be proactive in seeking someone out you want to connect with, shame on you. There were a ton of opportunities to speak with or say hi to a well known web celebrity if that’s your thing. I found folks like yourself extremely cordial and fun to be around.

The Internet and social networking weren’t created so you could short cut your way to success. Building long lasting relationships takes time. Being interesting, relevant, and consistent are keys to success.
http://www.philipsonphotography.com Joe Philipson

I totally agree with you, this years sxsw seemed drastically different from prior years. However, the most notable was the way people were treating each other. What we need to remember is that we are all geeks, and we all have a code, or at least I like to think so. Some geeks are successful and some are still trying to be. Just because you made it doesn’t make you better then the rest of us. Geeks have always been about helping each other, and others. WE ARE THE NICE GUYS in this world. We are supposed to be the opposite of all those Chad’s out there.
http://www.Pet-Peeves.org Cherie Miller

Hey Karma & Nasa, my Kitty (we were too lazy to even come up with a cool name) got me up at 4:22 a.m. this morning. Mostly to feed him. Good thing you’re watching Peter’s back for him – he’s your bread and butter.

Cherie K. Miller
http://www.pet-peeves.org
http://www.jonathan-hull.com Jonathan Hull

not going to be lengthy, because honestly my mind is still booting up. i’ll simply confirm what doubtless others have said, that your session was great for reminding us not only of good professional practices, but of universally good practices (which is why they’re so applicable for work). got to link back to your site and spread the love.
http://terripease@gmail.com Terri Pease

Wow!
I know almost nothing about SxSW- I’m a HARO lurker and occasional source.
But I do know that in the world where I work (where we help people who’ve experienced real trauma to recover and reclaim their lives) I remind my trainees and clients about the difference between taking your work seriously (which is critical) and taking yourself seriously (which is just wrong and, in this context, the essence of D-baggery).
http://www.thecoachingeducator.com Rebecca Carroll

I just have to chuckle about the blog. Whenever I am working and someone calls someone a “douche bag” I launch into what exactly a douche bag is and for what purpose it was used. Sometimes I even draw a picture on the board. It is the word that seems to come out the most when someone is in a heated debate… Of course I work mainly with college students. But I try to encourage them to say what they mean with the best argument for the most impact.
Calling the person a “douche bag” and writing a blog about respecting all..mmmhhhh. Say what you mean and mean what you say…..
Just a thought…
Just a thought!
http://socialmediaforsmartpeople.com/the-good-bad-ugly-sxsw-south-by-southwest-2010/ Michele Price

Peter,

I loved SXSW and also had twinges of disappointment. Then I remembered folks are human and most need networking skills.

Funny how the most successful usually are gracious and extend themselves while a few stand around waiting for people to flock to them like rock stars.

I always make a point of extending myself and introducing myself and asking about them and listening FIRST.

Once in a while I will purposely wait to see if someone will extend themselves and I do wonder why many maintain that circle around them offline that they have online. I thought the point was to meet new people and connect-like we tell our clients to do ;)

BTW you were nice when we were introduced and there were so many people there who can blame us if we forget a face or two.
http://23kazoos.com Wendy Kenney

I just attended Craig Duswalt’s Rockstar Marketing Bootcamp http://www.craigduswalt.com/rockstar.html where there were some real rockstars in attendance. And I have to say they were the most gracious people that I have met. Here’s one of them.. http://www.facebook.com/photo......8368874343

If social media has taught us anything, I hope that it has taught us that we are all on a level playing field. Grow up people, playing big shot doesn’t work anymore. Playing nice guy does.
http://billcammack.com/ Bill Cammack

Good points, Peter. Useful, as well. :)

One thing we have to recognize about Social Media in general and Twitter in particular is that there are lots of people experiencing what they perceive to be popularity, which is actually fame, which is actually fishbowl microfame for the very first time in their lives. Actually, it’s more important for the now microfamous to recognize it because it can easily go to your head and you start drinking your own kool-aid and believing your own hype.

I’ve tried to explain this in my series about Fame, Popularity & Star Power. I’ve been popular since my first recorded memories and will continue to be until I either lose my mind or croak. Internet Microfame is a game that I play but it doesn’t mean anything to me. If my 2,000 Facebook Friends disappeared, I’d have another thousand by the end of 2010. \o/

The people that are new to this are just now starting to enjoy the perks of people knowing their names or wanting to take pictures with them or buy them drinks or hang out with them. As they’re rising (and I wasn’t @ SXSW either, so I don’t know what the incidents were), people that remind them of the bad-old-days when they “weren’t anybody” are going to receive the evil eye and/or a tongue-lashing, because they REEEEEEEALLY don’t want to go back to being “just someone in the crowd”.

Once you get used to fame or notoriety, it’s no big deal. The party’s where YOU are, anyway. I had a situation where I found out about a party here in NYC on the day OF the party and the tickets were already sold out. I responded to the thread that I would meet up with my friends after the party and one of the hosts DMed me and not only comped me but hooked up a +1 for me to bring along someone I was planning to hang out with that evening. That’s not a credit to *ME*.. That’s a credit to THE HOST. I thanked him, showed up AND pubbed their party via SM.

Yelling about not being able to get into a party that I didn’t pay for AND that was already sold out, a) wouldn’t have done me any good, b) would have made me look like a jerk and c) would have been disrespectful to my friends who were throwing the party. Losses all around.

It’s a system. It’s like you said. It’s all about respect. You offer it to people, people offer it to you. Some people don’t want to be involved, and that’s cool. More power to them. It’s also cool for the microfamous to feel happy that people recognize their names now and give them preferential treatment, however, letting it go to your head and akkin’ a FOOL just lets people know that you’re new money, not old money when it comes to the fame game.
http://www.conferenceplus.com Jessica Simpson (And no I am not joking)

I thought the whole idea of social media is to bring humanity, conversation and personality to a brand. What I want from social media is to see the person behind the PR, and unfortunately I find that I dont always like what is hiding behind the curtain. I will probably never be a pillar in the social media industry but if I ever become important, I refuse to treat people like they dont matter, because everyone is someones wife, or son or friend and just on a personal level dont deserve to be undermined or berated.

My name would imply I am a pretty big deal :) but I am really not haha. In any event, I am a little more novice then most in the social media space, and what i find so interesting, is I myself had an “experience” with a top social media blogger who was beyond rude to me because I didnt “discuss” pricing in a manner he was used to, which I apologized for and took his advice to heart. I thought, here I am trying to learn more and educate my customers, and here you are making me afraid to approach anyone like you moving forward (granted I probably made mistakes).

Makes me kinda sad actually. Thanks for allowing us to rant!
http://billcammack.com/ Bill Cammack

One thing we have to recognize about Social Media in general and Twitter in particular is that there are lots of people experiencing what they perceive to be popularity, which is actually fame, which is actually fishbowl microfame for the very first time in their lives. Actually, it’s more important for the now microfamous to recognize it because it can easily go to your head and you start drinking your own kool-aid and believing your own hype.

I’ve tried to explain this in my series about Fame, Popularity & Star Power. I’ve been popular since my first recorded memories and will continue to be until I either lose my mind or croak. Internet Microfame is a game that I play but it doesn’t mean anything to me. If my 2,000 Facebook Friends disappeared, I’d have another thousand by the end of 2010. \o/

The people that are new to this are just now starting to enjoy the perks of people knowing their names or wanting to take pictures with them or buy them drinks or hang out with them. As they’re rising (and I wasn’t @ SXSW either, so I don’t know what the incidents were), people that remind them of the bad-old-days when they “weren’t anybody” are going to receive the evil eye and/or a tongue-lashing, because they REEEEEEEALLY don’t want to go back to being “just someone in the crowd”.

Once you get used to fame or notoriety, it’s no big deal. The party’s where YOU are, anyway. I had a situation where I found out about a party here in NYC on the day OF the party and the tickets were already sold out. I responded to the thread that I would meet up with my friends after the party and one of the hosts DMed me and not only comped me but hooked up a +1 for me to bring along someone I was planning to hang out with that evening. That’s not a credit to *ME*.. That’s a credit to THE HOST. I thanked him, showed up AND pubbed their party via SM.

Yelling about not being able to get into a party that I didn’t pay for AND that was already sold out, a) wouldn’t have done me any good, b) would have made me look like a jerk and c) would have been disrespectful to my friends who were throwing the party. Losses all around.

It’s a system. It’s like you said. It’s all about respect. You offer it to people, people offer it to you. Some people don’t want to be involved, and that’s cool. More power to them. It’s also cool for the microfamous to feel happy that people recognize their names now and give them preferential treatment, however, letting it go to your head and akkin’ a FOOL just lets people know that you’re new money, not old money when it comes to the fame game.
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