PETER SHANKMAN

I Know More About You Than You Think…

This is a post in the continuing series of How to be Taken Seriously. In this post, we’re going to discuss how the littlest things can tell people so much about you, before you’re even aware they are.

Nathan Muir: You just gave her four pieces of personal information for one dubious impersonal fact. 1) You’re straight, 2) You’re engaged, 3) Tomorrow’s your girls birthday, and 4) You have terrible taste in women’s clothing.
Tom Bishop: Just trying to find out where she got that dress.
Nathan Muir: What if she were an asset? You told her four lies that now have to be true.
Spy Game, (Robert Redford, Brad Pitt) 2001

This afternoon finds me on an Amtrak train, headed from NYC to Philly, to keynote the National Council for Marketing and Public Relations’ National Conference.

As I sit down, I’m joined across one of those Amtrak-tables by a young woman, who drops her stuff on the seat next to her, and puts her ticket on the table while taking off her coat.

Of course, I notice the ticket, which clearly displays her name and destination city. It was seven inches in front of me. Stevie Wonder could have read it.

What did I do? Of course, I Googled her name off my Blackberry. Within fifteen seconds, I found her Facebook page, her Twitter page, and a blog post she wrote on luggage.

Her Twitter page, although protected, says she’s studying law, but also looking for a PR job. OK – Lawyer to PR? Stranger things have happened, I suppose.

Knowing she’d written a blog post on luggage, I started a casual conversation about her purse. She started talking about it, and that led to pretty standard conversation – The usual “what do you do, where are you from,” etc.

“I work at a PR firm,” she said. This contradicted her Twitter bio, which said she was in law school, but looking for a PR job when she graduated in May of 11.

“Oh really? I’m in PR,” I said. “Which firm?”

She hesitated a second, and said “Oh, I’d rather not say.”

*Blink.*

“You’d rather not say at what PR firm you work? Don’t you call reporters and write press releases with your name on them?”

“Yeah, I just don’t like to talk about it.”

Hmm…

On one hand, she could truly not want to share her information with people she just met on the train. That makes sense, I guess. But on the flip side, something didn’t seem right. Unless she was an Air-Marshall, (Train-Marshall?) something wasn’t adding up.

I didn’t press her on it, and I opened my laptop to let the conversation die. But it started me thinking…

We live in a world that is easily accessible. Call it “unknown brand awareness.” The second you say anything, anyone who hears it has the ability to start looking around for more information. For me, it was simple – her ticket was right there. But in other conversations, it’s just as easy.

Back in the 80s, top-level computer hackers like Kevin Mitnick used to call it “social engineering.” Asking seemingly innocuous questions to get you to reveal as much or as little information as they needed to complete their hack. Something as simple as “do you have any pets” could more than likely tell them your computer password.

Real spies meet on roofs.

While we’ve “grown up” a little bit since the 80s in terms of computer security, we haven’t really done so in other ways. We put massive amounts of information out in the open – not just on Amtrak-tables, but in tons of other ways. I’m not even talking about the weird people who wear their passports and airline tickets in a wallet around our neck for the world to see our most personal information.

How many of us have a sticker of the company we work for or our website on our laptops? How many of us wear t-shirts to the gym with our logo on it? In the age of everyone having an avatar, it’s not hard. The girl sitting next to me has the same profile photo on Twitter and Facebook, and one look tells me that it is in fact her.

So what can we do to be taken seriously in this new world of easily identifiable information?

1) Get your background story straight. If you have anything to hide, make sure you don’t give me the most basic information to prove you wrong before we even have our first full conversation. Spies are amazing at this. They can tell you hours of information, and when you sit down and analyze it, you realize they’ve told you absolutely nothing of any value whatsoever.

2) Post information, but be careful about what information you post. This girl at least had the basic security enabled on her FB and Twitter accounts. What if she didn’t? I could have engaged her for over an hour about anything, and made the conversation seem so very innocent, yet by talking about specific items, I’d get her to tell me tons.

Fact is, people feel comfortable when someone else brings up something about which they know a bit. It breaks down social barriers faster than a tab of ecstasy. Think about it – If you own a dog, and someone talks to you about dogs, you want to engage, you want to keep the conversation going – You share photos, tell your dog’s name, at the very least. From that, I can get a lot more information, simply by listening.

3) On the flip-side, it’s amazing how much information people put out there that we can use to our advantage, if we’d simply LISTEN once in a while, and not just wait for a break in the conversation so we can talk again. The most basic things can lead to full-on interaction. Don’t believe me? Listen the next time the idiot next to you somewhere is on his cell phone. People talk about personal information all the time, like they were the only one in the room. They’re not. Fortunately for them, most people don’t listen either, so it’s a null/loss situation. But get someone like me in the room, someone who actually does listen because it’s fun, and it’s a whole different ballgame.

4) Finally, be aware that your brand, something I talk about all the time, is open for perusal twenty-four hours a day. The age of lying is over – This is the age of “you gonna get caught.” That means if you post one thing, and say another, it’s not a question of “if” you’re going to get caught, it’s a question of “when.” And perhaps it won’t be by someone like me, a bored traveler on a train to Philadelphia. Perhaps it’ll be by a hiring manager. Or a spouse. Or a reporter.

Want to be taken seriously? Start by being smarter. That goes for all of us.

Oh – And keep your damn Amtrak ticket in your POCKET.

March 14th, 2011 07:25 AM
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Thanks for sharing this post. I recently did a search for two employee applicants and found nothing online except the usual people finder stuff and it makes me wonder. I haven’t decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing, or maybe neutral. I guess I’ll have to interview them to see. Thanks again for the post.

March 14th, 2011 07:53 AM
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Boy, I’d love to shadow you for a day and take notes!

Another great post (right up this sleuthy girl’s alley) enjoyed over my first cup of coffee this morning.

It is incredible to me how many folks out there have not reached the “oh, I get it” stage of how quickly someone can fact check you these days. I think it is also important to note that not everyone is as attentive or resourceful as you were that day. As a lover of people and people watching, I am fascinated by all of this. Listening ‘for’ a person is something I personally work on everyday- and it’s not always easy, because as human beings, I think we are generally excited to talk about ourselves.

To me, the most fascinating aspect of your encounter with this woman is the missed opportunity to connect with one of the best in the business!

I wake up every day excited about who I might meet — You just never know!

Have a great day Peter… did my package arrive?

March 14th, 2011 08:32 AM
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Very interesting post! It used to be only famous people had all of their information out there for the world to see. Short of hiring a private investigator, if you wanted to find something out about anyone not famous you just had to ask around and hope somebody could tell you.
Whether we like it or not, we have all become open books…

March 14th, 2011 08:46 AM
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Great food for thought!

March 14th, 2011 08:09 AM
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First, Hey Peter! Second, that is one of my favorite films! I still go back to it for many great lessons. Third, why do you think she lied? I am amazed that people think they need to lie to get someplace. How different would the conversation had been if she had told the truth (like you said maybe she was)? But really, sitting next to you on a train. She says she is on law school but wants to get into PR law or something like that. You introduce yourself and she has just now made probably one of the best connections in the industry she will ever had. But no she lies. Ugh. I am still scratching my head on that one.

March 14th, 2011 09:56 AM
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Why in the world are you chastising her for not telling you her PR firm?

She obviously sized YOU up as a person who shamelessly roots around for information which is none of their business. I give her every bit of credit for shutting you down and keeping her privacy intact.

March 14th, 2011 09:02 AM
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While I agree with the basic points you make re. identifiable information, I cringe at your example.

As adults, there are certain social mores that should be respected. Among them: There are times in public where we don’t have the privacy we normally expect to have, and we can hope that those around us will give us the illusion of privacy.
* If you’re in the gym locker room and someone walks past naked, you avert your gaze–or look at their face or toes.
* Is someone’s showing you something on their computer and needs to log into a site, you don’t stare while they enter their password.
* If you’re spending time with someone who must take a personal phone call, you pretend not to listen.

To that, I’d add…if someone doesn’t tell you their name, it’s inappropriate to take and use that information before you even talk to them.

Perhaps this girl has accept a job and just hasn’t updated her online profiles because it hasn’t yet been announced. Maybe she’s working in a PR firm’s legal department & doesn’t know their policy of whether, as a lawyer, she’s allowed to identify herself. Maybe she’s replacing someone who hasn’t been notified yet of their pending departure. Sure, it’s possible she’s just lying, but maybe she’s not. And, frankly, it’s really none of our business.

Interestingly, some of the most interesting strangers I’ve met have (I’ve later learned) not been entirely truthful. Years ago I was on a trans-Atlantic flight and found myself sitting next to a fascinating guy. Normally I don’t talk to the person next to me, but we started chatting before the plane took off and talked for the next 8 hours. We had some personal and professional interests in common, both liked to travel, etc. One of our topics of discussion was dating – we were both single, etc. – and shared some of our experiences. We exchanged names & business cards, and a few days after the flight I Googled him because he was heading to Kentucky for thoroughbred auctions and I’m a former equestrian…I was curious to see what he bought. Interestingly, I saw that *he and his wife* made several purchases. Why did he lie to me about being single? Who the heck knows (he wasn’t hitting on me), but it certainly made a memorable encounter that much more interesting.

March 14th, 2011 09:38 AM
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Or, as a very wise man who is now serving time in a federal pen for fraud once told me, ‘Always tell the truth. There’s less to remember.’

March 14th, 2011 09:49 AM
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Great post. Having one’s story straight at the personal level is important for gaining trust with people. it follows that corporate communications and PR need to have the same (or higher) level of fidelity. How often do we as consumers hear a claim by a company and then immediately reference the claim on Twitter to see what contradictory information we can find before we give them our money?

March 14th, 2011 09:00 AM
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YEARS ago for both incidents …

In the CB days, we were driving along when a soap-opera started between a man and woman and I don’t remember the details, but they were soap-opera-worthy. Theoretically, they were in separate vehicles except we noticed they never talked over each other and we decided they were providing an afternoon’s entertainment. Nevertheless, it illustrated how vulnerable we are when talking in public.

About 10-12 years ago, I answered a single’s ad and received a two-page letter in response. He told me about my entire life, from when I wrote about the planetarium at Rock Creek Park forward. I had no knowledge of Lexis/Nexis so I couldn’t image how he obtained all that information. He ended the letter by saying I was too old for him (yes, his loss) but didn’t explain why he bothered to write the two-page letter. Now, we don’t even need Nexis to obtain that information.

Happy Philly — remember, it’s Pi day.

March 14th, 2011 09:53 AM
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I agree with @Jen in that there are certain things we need to do to protect ourselves and respect others. But also on Peter’s “side” – his altruism would still be “respectful” in that he wasn’t misusing the information he was finding. He protected her to the extent that he didn’t share, but others probably wouldn’t be so well-intentioned.

March 14th, 2011 09:51 AM
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@Steve: In a mood today much? :)

You missed the entire point of the post. She didn’t “shut down.” She had no idea I knew ANYTHING about her. (I have no clue as to what post you were reading.)

My point is, she obviously didn’t expect her lie “I work at a PR firm” to come back to bite her in the ass, and when it did, she didn’t know how to handle it.

Besides – I gave her a copy of my book (for free) when I got off the train, so for all I know, she’s reading this post now. But I doubt it.

Damn – Have some coffee, Steve!

@Jen: You really, really believe that “right to privacy” still exists? OK – I’m not going to debate it with you. It doesn’t. If you want to delude yourself into thinking you still have privacy left in this world, feel free. Fact is, 99% of all identity theft comes NOT from the online world, but from people looking at your license, seeing your trash, and yes, looking at your ticket name. I was nice and wrote a post about it. The person on your next train ride? Perhaps not so much. Good luck with that.

@John: Awesome freaking movie – Totally underrated. :)

March 14th, 2011 09:43 AM
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Great article. I am impressed by your stalking abilities. This reminds me of a story I read online– this guy talked about how this girl was in front of him on the bus and was on FB the entire time, so he saw her name and found her on his facebook. He added her as a friend with a note that said, “Doesn’t this bus smell like crap?” and he said she was FREAKING out and trying to figure out who it was.

It’s amazing what people notice about you just by what you are doing. I’ve also googled people’s names based on their nametags at conferences. Creepy, I know.

March 14th, 2011 09:41 AM
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I agree with Jim; just be truthful about who you are, with the discretion to keep your password clues private, and life is much less complicated. The same holds true for what you post on social media; keep in mind that everybody can see what you put there, so if you would be embarrassed to show it to your grandmother, keep it off your Facebook & Twitter pages!

March 14th, 2011 10:10 AM
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Peter,

I think you’re misinterpreting my words.

In the post-Google world, we have a lot less privacy than we ever had before, and those of us who are concerned about it have to take steps to protect our privacy. I’m self-employed, so I need to have a public presence, but I’ve also been stalked and had my identity stolen, so there are other areas where I’ve taken deliberate steps to restrict the visibility of my online identity.

From a personal perspective, I’m fortunate to have a very common name, so if you Google me based on the email address I used to post this comment, you would not find me in the first two pages of search results. (And I’m very diligent about shredding everything, etc., so my trash is very boring.) On the other hand, that level of privacy can be to my detriment from a professional perspective (particularly since there’s someone with the same name who’s loosely in the same industry, but a very different position, in my city). Given the personal vs. professional issues, I give a lot of though to managing my online identify.

All of that said, in my initial comment I was just focusing on the issue of whether you should have ignored her name when you saw her boarding pass–not whether she lied, etc. My immediate gut reaction is, “Ignore it,” because, as you say, you’re a nice person. Just because you can Google someone doesn’t mean you should Google them.

But as I ponder this some more, part of me says, “So what that you Googled her.” You could have just as easily seen one of her tweets, checked out her Twitter profile and then Googled her. The fact that you were sitting across from her on a train is almost irrelevant from a privacy perspective. (The lying about the job is a different issue.)

Re. privacy: I have friends who freak out because their phone number might be visible to strangers on Facebook, or a store clerk asked them to provide their name & address before picking up an order. Pick and choose your battles, I tell them, and be consistent. If you don’t want your phone number to be public knowledge, lock down your privacy settings on FB and take other steps to protect it. But if you freak out because 3 people at the pharmacy hear you give your name & address, yet you allow that same info to be published in the phone book & freely available on FB? That’s an irrational reaction re. privacy.

Interesting discussion and good food for thought on a Monday morning!

March 14th, 2011 10:30 AM
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You forgot to check her LinkedIn profile. Last time I was at a hockey game the people next to me had VIP badges with their company name. The guy next to me checked his email on his blackberry and I saw his last name. A quick search found him, the company, and quite a bit of professional information.

March 14th, 2011 10:39 AM
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Wow – so what is the point here? As a chronic ‘over-sharer’ I struggle to remember not everyone is a nice as you, Peter, and that I should curb my honesty with strangers once in a while and be more discreet about what I share. At the same time I run a business and try to be honest, transparent and true to my personality because I know opportunity can be anywhere (or anyone). I understand that if you decide to share, you need to be honest but is the moral here to share…..or not to share? Seems it can hurt you either way.

March 14th, 2011 10:52 AM
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Thank you for sharing this story! A little story about being able to find out anything about anyone nowadays… I have an old co-worker that did a simple Google search (This was this past December) about his HR Specialist and he quickly saw that he was also a HR Consultant and had his own website and company. Well, my friend politely asked him about his consulting business and the guy was completely offended & wanted to know HOW he could know such information?! The HR Specialist tried to take it to his boss, but she was like “All he did was Google your name and it came up. Relax. It’s your own fault.” I think that probably completely changed that guy’s thinking of the power of the INTERNET! ;)

March 14th, 2011 11:18 AM
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Thanks for sharing this story… I think there are way too many of us that simply forget the power of Google, the Internet and that everything is out there for absolutely anyone and everyone to find.

This past December I was speaking with an old coworker and he was telling me about his HR Specialist and how he was coming for a visit. He Googled his name and was quickly able to learn that he had his own HR Consulting company and did that on the side for a couple other companies. So he decided to bring it up one day and the HR Specialist was completely offended! He couldn’t believe that he knew so much information about him and felt like he was being spied on. My old coworker was like “Whoa!!! I found your website by doing a quick Google search. I knew you were coming to visit today and wanted to be able to strike up conversation.” Mr. HR Specialist had nothing more to say.

I have a feeling this particular “HR Specialist” immediately thought “HOLY (you know what)!” ;)

I laughed and laughed and still get a good giggle out of it!

March 14th, 2011 11:23 AM
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Yes, everyone’s a PI these days. You don’t even realize what information you are putting out there. Be careful what you post. Somewhat scary. On the flip side it sure helps prepare for meetings.

March 14th, 2011 11:36 AM
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This is why we concentrate on promoting the brand HappyDental on Facebook/Twitter et al. You need to focus on who you want to be on the internet and stick with the format. So many people want to be everything to everyone to try and make a sale/connection/lead.
Its all about FOCUS – FOCUS on who you are on the WWW and stick with the FOCUS. This Amtrak girl is a silly little wannabee who will probably be a neverbee.
I read Peters blog regularly and it helps me see someon who maintains FOCUS on who they are/what they are/what they do and we do our best every day to follow this theme.

March 14th, 2011 11:18 AM
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Had my coffee … better now.

But you know, it is possible she may have recognized you and didn’t want to talk shop with the big cheese.

I mean if I was an aspiring actor and had just booked my first commercial and say, Tom Hanks asked me about myself, I’d be a bit sheepish about saying “I’m an actor. I just did my first hemorrhoid commercial!”

March 14th, 2011 12:07 PM
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I agree with Kelsey, I am in awe of your stalking abilities. I vote you get at least a supporting role in Spy Game 2 Peter!

–Mark

March 14th, 2011 12:14 PM
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@steve regarding talking to the big Cheese, I have learned that being ourselves and sticking our necks out there when we meet someone that is an expert in our fields is crucial today. I treat them with respect but like I would anyone else in my field. They also appreciate it. I met the publisher of one of the blogs I write for recently. She was thrilled to get to meet me and even asked my input on how to make the site better for bloggers. One of the things I have learned from Peter is that we need to be good self promoters. There is nothing wrong with it as long as we continue to promote others as well.

March 14th, 2011 01:29 PM
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I see what you’re saying Peter. This post reminds me of my pageant coaching days. I judge a LOT of pageants, and it’s amazing how many of these young women put “Attorney” as their life ambition on their paperwork, but when you ask them about it in interview, they can’t elaborate on anything. They can’t explain why they want to be a lawyer, or tell you who inspired them to be a lawyer, or recall a landmark case, or name the type of law they want to practice. Hell, in most cases, when you ask them what classes they’re taking, most of them will be in the theater. It’s amazing to me. They just list “attorney” because they think it will look good.

For the love of god, at least be honest!

So, a fun trick I LOVED to use (and I only call it a trick because the contestants refuse to recognize that this happens) was to Google the contestants. I wanted to see if a girl really DID volunteer weekly at said homeless shelter, or if she was a total hypocrite. It’s also incredible how many 19 year olds promote a platform of being against drunk driving, yet have photos of themselves doing a keg-stand, underage – and in their sorority letters – all over Facebook. That usually prompted me to ask something to the effect of “So, Miss So and So, what are your opinions on college students posting inappropriate photos on Facebook in an age when so many potential employers are looking?” Usually their answers were angelic, which was absolutely hysterical to me because they were clueless that I knew otherwise.

So for seven years, I turned my bullshit detector into a coaching business. And I taught contestants to be honest about themselves and their goals, and it was pretty effective for most of my girls. Let’s face it, it’s a lot more interesting to talk to a perspective Miss America who wants to own her own cupcakery than listening to a musical theater major make a case for how she’s really going to become a Supreme Court Justice.

Anyway, this girl clearly doesn’t work in PR. Any self-proclaimed public relations practitioner would know who you are. And furthermore, they’d be prepared with a better elevator speech. But for all we know, maybe she’s one of the only pageant contestants in America who really is hell-bent on being an attorney.

March 14th, 2011 01:08 PM
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Maybe this is a less considered benefit of social media and the web – can it make us more honest? One would hope.

March 14th, 2011 03:24 PM
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I applaud you for utilizing technology that is literally at our fingertips to cull information and learn more about your “seatmate.” However, I’m with @Steve and think that she shut you down because she had a legitimate reason to not share anything with you in a seemingly innocuous conversation.

Or, maybe she knew who YOU were and chose not to engage because she didn’t want to be blogged about while on her way to D.C. for a PR interview.

Her FB status was recently updated: On the Acela and Peter Shankman just small talked to me about my purse. Seriously?

March 14th, 2011 03:24 PM
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As a frequent Amtrak traveler, I’ve often thought that traveling Amtrak is the perfect place for corporate espionage. I’ve overheard conversations about contracts, people being recruited by a competitor and bad mouthing their current company, people talking about deal size and revenue…way too much confidential information. At the same time, I bill by the hour and need to get work done so I do hope that people aren’t going out of their way to be too nosy or I’ll have to stick with reading a book. As it is, I stay off the phone and try to get the inside seat and keep the screen pointed toward me. This is definitely a good lesson for all. We think we control what information we put out in public but we forget that some information may be out there that we didn’t intend.

March 14th, 2011 04:07 PM
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Good Afternoon. Yes, the internet is a great source for information! I am the girl from the train, and it was rather easy to find myself upon this blog post – written about me!

I feel the need to explain. As many of you know, Penn Station requires that you show your ticket as you board. Having rushed, as I always do, to find a seat, I still had my ticket in hand. As I found my seat (across from you!) I set my ticket on the table as I put my belongings down, knowing that I would need to show my ticket once more before putting it away. So, that is why my ticket was out (and not “in my pocket’)

Secondly, in an age where you need to be very careful about what information you tell to strangers (the police, FBI, etc. will tell you that), it was no wonder I did not want to reveal everything about me. I guess as a young woman alone on a train I did not feel comfortable. That being said, it does make you think about what kind of (and how much) information you put on the internet. This blog post certainly has me thinking. When I sat down, I had no idea who you were. I had no idea you were in PR. I had no clue if you were bored, nice, a weirdo, or a criminal. Looking back on it, I probably shouldn’t have given you any information at all considering the circumstances. I had no idea who you were. And, as you might recall, you said it was odd that I wouldn’t reveal the information – and I replied simply by saying truly how I felt – that I did not want to give my employment information to a man I did not know (I even used the word “stranger”). I have always tried to be careful, especially when I am alone.

That being said, this post is very interesting. It is true that we live in an age where our information is everywhere. Perhaps I did not expect a person to take my name off my ticket and research me on the internet as I was arranging my things on the seat next to me. If anything, I have learned to be a lot more careful. Maybe next time it will be a less safe situation – I certainly hope not. But at least now the readers of this blog will see where I am coming from.

Regardless, I am glad that the situation you found yourself in prompted you to write this post. Had I known off the bat who you were, I would have gladly engaged in a long conversation about public relations with you (and am sure I would have learned a lot). It is a fascinating profession, and one which you seem extremely passionate about. Thank you for the book – it is most interesting and at the very least informative.

Best.

March 14th, 2011 08:00 PM
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@Steve. The first thing I thought of, when I read your comment was: “Uh-oh, does Steve not know you never argue with anyone who buys their ink in big drums?” Especially now, when ink is free and travels at the speed of light?

Peter patiently explained how easily we can self exploit. I had never thought about it, so, it was fascinating and a little scary. Gotta go and cut those tags off of my luggage I bought after reading a post on luggage.

Peter, maybe all the Iron-man workouts have muscled you to the point you are scary to a lady alone on a train :) Or she, like me, watches too much Law and Order… At a certain point, that makes even SuprerMan paranoid!

Best, to all

March 14th, 2011 10:35 PM
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Today someone said to me, “I’m not on Facebook. Facebook is trouble.”

I said, “Facebook is only trouble if you’re trouble.” I guess I haven’t had any experience where information revealed about me on the internet has directly hurt me.

I’ve heard it a million times, but I just don’t see it.

March 15th, 2011 08:24 AM
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Great advice, Peter! I’m all in favor of fake names for non-essential accounts and logins. Etsy is having a mini-flap over a related privacy issue. Apparently, you can search for a person’s name and find out what they bought. Including sex toys.

Also, people don’t maximize their Facebook privacy settings. The options are there to seriously limit who sees what.

As a former reporter, my favorite trick was reading upside down the papers on someone’s desk. It was fun, but never really read anything good.

March 15th, 2011 08:43 AM
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This reminded me of a recent case in the Uk when a member of the audience was insulted when a comedian at a stand up gig made a joke about kids with down syndrome. Now whether or not you think this is an apporpriate subject for humour is neither here nor there. That audience member signed up for an act knowing fine well how controversial it would be. Don’t complain after the fact just get a life..

If black humour in times of crisis can’t lift the mood there is no hope for anyone, if you lost any followers then hey, their loss.

March 15th, 2011 08:25 AM
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I don’t know, Peter. I just don’t go around googling people’s names. For one, I could care less. For another, I don’t have the time to waste finding out about someone’s life. And lastly, I respect people’s privacy too much. Perhaps I am missing out on meeting some fabulous people. Even though I am in PR as well, I tend to keep to myself – especially when traveling.
Now my dad, on the other hand, will strike up a conversation with anyone he shares space with. He doesn’t have a smart phone and doesn’t even know what the word “google” means. He just does it the old-fashioned way – asking questions and listening.

March 15th, 2011 04:16 PM
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Are you a spy????

The title of your article pulled me in faster than I could snap my fingers ;-) Partly because I was clicking on the link to get here.

Love it when I read an article to the end and stay engaged the entire time. So thanks for that!

And…whoa, I think I should spy on myself and see what others see. Or not. Will you spy on me and engage in a conversation with me? I just wanna hear you in action. Follow me on twitter @melodygranger & let’s chat.

I’ll be careful what I say about my pets, for sure! Or not. Since my passwords have nothing to do with my pet.

Enjoyed this! Knock ‘em dead at the conference.

Melody

March 16th, 2011 01:53 PM
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This comment has nothing really to do with your above posting, although I wanted to stoke your ego.

I actually owe part of how I’ve been meeting people since 2007 to you.

If something you’ve wrote can be applied to my life or work life, I, well, apply it.
I’ve networked the crap out of things and random people for the sheer fact I can introduce them to someone who would benefit them etc..

I’ve made better connects with people on personal and business levels. Never know who will one day know of a posting at your dream job, or know that person who you will marry one day. But like you say, you shouldn’t be nice to people to gain anything. You should be nice for the sake of being nice. (words to live by)

I listen to people in line at the store, on the bus, in restaurants etc and although I’m not as chatty as you are, I’ve been able to learn a lot about people by shutting my mouth and listening.

With the world of technology and being able to connect with people in a few mere seconds on the other side of the world, “small world” has a whole new meaning if you’re going to try and lie or mislead someone about what you do for a living.

Tis is the time to know thy audience and heed the warning if you lie, you will get caught.

March 16th, 2011 01:03 PM
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Wow, very interesting. Gonna google new people I meet, you peaked my curiousity!

March 16th, 2011 01:19 PM
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*stroke your ego.

March 17th, 2011 09:31 AM
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and had she simply been honest, she could have had you see her for what she was capable of, and possible be recommended to the perfect job for her…

There’s an old Jewish saying “the truth is the best possible lie you can say.”

March 17th, 2011 10:24 AM
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Soooooo much truth in this article. Your life & your brand are inseparable. Manage them well.

March 21st, 2011 01:22 AM
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There’s an old Jewish saying “the truth is the best possible lie you can say.
With the world of technology and being able to connect with people in a few mere seconds on the other side of the world, “small world” has a whole new meaning if you’re going to try and lie or mislead someone about what you do for a living.
_____________
Paul

March 21st, 2011 11:52 AM
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I think you should circulate this to the English Football Association it should be compulsory reading for every player before they enter a nightclub, hit the golf course or even sign an autograph.

It seems a day doesn’t go by without someone coming a cropper through either ignorance of the power of social media or some childlike naivity on how to use use it without destroying there own or some elses reputation.

June 28th, 2011 10:36 PM
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After reading this…you kind of scare me. But it’s completely true.

//Jenn @ the Creative Agency

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