Yeah, not the most glowing review of your Segway escapades, but hell, the Gawker crew would still do you for a ride. They talk tough from their plush loft, but just wait until they actually have to get somewhere.

Fantastic! Seriously, I think your face says it all, “Look out New York – I’m large and in charge!” By the way, throw on a wig and start singing – I heard the strike is over!