PETER SHANKMAN
| POSTED ON June 22nd, 2008 | 32 COMMENTS | + ADD YOUR COMMENT |
Every once in a while, I come across SUCH a great pitch, so perfect in form, function, so on target, and so exactly what the reporter is looking for, I’ve no choice but to call the pitcher out and blog about it.
Jenny Schmitt saw a pitch on HARO about fun father/daughter ideas that wouldn’t cause a “guy to get his guy card revoked.” Seeing that the reporter obviously had a sense of humor, Jenny crafted the perfect pitch, filling it with information, exactly what the reporter wanted, and topped it off with a touch of humor. I don’t know what the result is (Jenny, let us know!) but I just had to call this pitch out as one of the best I’ve seen in a while. Learn from this one, gang.
Here’s the query:
Summary: 5 Father/Daughter experiences
Name: redacted
Email: redacted
Title: Author
Media Outlet/Publication: www.closecombatguidefordads.com
Anonymous? No
Specific Geographic Region? No
Region:
Deadline: 12:00 PM CENTRAL – June 22
Query:
“We are looking for suggestions for 5 awesome, unique experiences fathers can give their daughters. These adventures/experiences should be under $100, realistic and most of all fun for BOTH of them.
Dad’s should not have to turn in their ‘man card’ in order to enjoy this! So Libby Liu’s or American Doll outings are out!
The goal is to deepen the father/daughter bond without being too girly.”
Now Jenny’s Pitch
Dear (Reporter’s name)
This is Jenny Schmitt and I work with Georgia State Parks (www.getoutdoorsgeorgia.org or www.georgiastateparks.org). Dads can still “man up” and take their daughters on some amazing experiences in their own state parks. Here in Georgia, men can bring their daughters to:
1) Tree-Climbing Clinics (technical tree climbing with ropes, helmets and that oh-so-comfy-for-guys harness)
2) Party with the Possum (night hikes with flashlights to see nocturnal animals)
3) Fort Days (cool cannon and musket firings, blacksmithing and lots of history lessons with a guided tour (Ga. has 18 historic sites and historic parks with LOTS of cannons))
4) For the eco-daughter a Leaf Watch Fall Hike (guided hike with a biologist/ecologist who shares the different trees, animals and the fun science behind fall colors)
5) Camping/fishing/boating/hiking and even golf at state parks (really, there is just about something for everyone, even those who hate bugs)
So Dad can keep his “Y” chromosome and still have a great time with his daughter. Cost: One time at a park $3-$5 admission, or buy an annual pass for $30 (most states it’s $30). Cheap? You bet. Memorable? Absolutely.
Let me know if I can be of further help. We’ve got photos aplenty and testimonials from Dad/daughter outings as well.
Be well,
Jenny Schmitt
(contact information)
Well done, Jenny. Take a bow.
Tweet
|
Thanks Peter and Jenny, I agree. I love state parks but I never heard them presented so well! |
|
Very nice, Jenny. If I was a Georgia reporter, I’d snap it up in a New York minute! |
|
You’re right, Peter, absolutely FAB! Good inspiration to us all. Good luck on FBN… did I just miss it… it’s 7:52? |
|
No. No a thousand times, No. There’s nothing about the pitch that would revoke a guy’s “Man card.” Particularly the cannon part. I wrote about signing up tea parties, hip-hop dance lessons, cooking classes…stuff like that. But boating, camping, hiking…No no no. It was amusing but completely off-point. This is my second attempt to say so. Which may again be censored. |
|
Makes me want to visit Georgia to climb trees with OUR daughter! Hubby can sit in the van and read; I’ll take both kids up in the branches! |
|
To heck with Dad, I’ll do it with my daughter! Oh wait, Georgia is a bit of a drive. I applaud your creativity, Jenny! |
|
Great pitch, Jenny. I live in Georgia and now I have some great ideas for outings with our daughters! And my hubby won’t have to give up his ‘man card’. Bonus! |
|
I’ve found that the reporters I’ve pitched through HARO are always great. I’ve had great success. |
|
Yes, it’s a sad day for the PR industry when we start giving out strong praise and kudos for doing what we’re supposed to do, and doing it right… “Yay Jenny, you don’t suck at pitching, way to go!” “Wow, an on-topic pitch! Ooohh-ah, it even has some punchy lines in it, this one deserves a silver anvil.” |
|
Wow, Chrissy – Who pissed you off this morning? Don’t you ever want recognition for a job well done? Sheesh! Switch to Decaf, perhaps? And Bonnie: I’m not sure you totally get it here – The query was about things guys could do WITHOUT losing their man-card, which is exactly to what the pitch catered. What part of that isn’t working for you? Sheesh! Monday morning grumpies! |
|
I loved the pitch and would enjoy taking my grandchildren on those events. While the cost may be low it is part of what is paid for with tax dollars so everyone in the state contributes to the programs. When programs are used they get more new and interesting ones and often new funding. These ideas can be used for more than Father’s Day and in Georgia. |
|
Great pitch! |
|
I agree with Chris H.–this really isn’t a big deal. Nice pitch, but cmon. |
|
In response to Chris: Bad pitching blogs/websites, PR Black Lists and fed-up writers are on the rise and out with a vengence. It’s pitches like these and the positive reinforcements of posting “good pitch” examples that keep me loving my profession. So thanks, Peter and Jenny, for proving that we in the PR industry still know what we’re doing! |
|
Well I have had caffeine, a killer workout and an awesome start to my day and I think Jenny’s pitch was fabulous! Tough crowd, gee whiz! Yes, even though we are supposed to pitch on topic it’s nice to give recognition (and learn from) people who do it well. Also keep in mind that not everyone on this list is a seasoned, jaded PR person, some of us are just regular folk who happen to be expert at something. :-) Thanks Peter for props, laughs and lots of queries. Karen |
|
This is terrific! With your permission, I’d like to send this to all the PR folks that work in our field units to show them what I mean when I ask them what / how they’re pitching reporters. Sadly, THERE ARE some PR folks who don’t pitch this way as a regular part of their job. They may be grinding out news releases on events, “announcements,” personnel changes, etc., but they’re not creatively pitching like this. AND, Peter makes it so easy by telling us exactly what reporters are looking for. Nicely done! |
|
This is a very good pitch. Succinct, packed with info, uses the listing format well, answers the essential questions, and has good personality without seeming to try too hard. Please keep these examples coming, Peter….as a longtime reporter, they’re a breath of fresh air! |
|
I think it was a great pitch. It was to the point – quickly. I’m constantly working to keep a pitch short and sweet, so kudos to you Jenny! |
|
Thanks Peter. It’s always nice to hear that a pitch is not just slobber slapped on an e-mail. No word from the reporter, but I’ll leep you posted. Jenny |
|
|
Yes, it’s a good pitch, I get that and don’t disagree one bit. If it’s the warm fuzzy hand you need patting your bottom telling you you’re doing a good job and in the right field than you got it! I’m just saying, we should be striving for this to be a standard, not an achievement. But if you read Peter’s book, you’d know he loves those of you who write bad pitches. Do you know why? Because it makes him look great!! |
|
This is a great pitch and I’m sending it out to young pubs as a great example. Thanks Jenny and Peter, Mimi |
|
Hey Peter, You are definitely crazy! In a funny way though. Your comment above has me in the floor holding my ribs. As a matter of fact I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. |
|
|
Hey Peter, You are definitely crazy! In a funny way though. Your comment above has me in the floor holding my ribs. As a matter of fact, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. |
|
Great Ideas, Other fun outings would include – Indoor rock climbing, you can build confidence Next time it rains – dance in the rain with her and have leaf boat water races.. Work on a project together, paint her room with her or do a craft together. Take a cooking class or martial arts class together. My daughter and I play Fantasy Forrest, she gets a friend and at night we go to a Golf Course and test our fears my walking so many holes before we chicken out from all the nocturnal animal sounds…or you can play Hide-and-go-seek. Create a wish list of reasonable items and see how many you can accomplish in one day and within your budget. Try to avoid movies and shopping. |
|
I’d say it’s a competent pitch, but I’d say that’s the point. When huge multinationals can churn out massively overlong, rambling and off-topic pre releases and pitches a competent one is so useful. |
|
For future reference: Maybe it takes a guy to know that ‘cannons’ is not the plural of ‘cannon.’ ‘Cannon’ is the plural of ‘cannon.’ |
PETER TO SPEAK
FOR THE NEWSLETTER
