PETER SHANKMAN

POSTED ON February 8th, 2011 91 COMMENTS + ADD YOUR COMMENT
Top Ten Things That Get You Unfollowed/Unfriended.

Here’s the top ten things you can do that will pretty much guarantee you’ll get unfollowed/unfriended.

10) Auto-DM me when I follow you. “Thanks for connecting! Can’t wait to Tweet with you!” will not only cause me to unfollow you, but to smack you hard the next time we meet in person.

9) Play any game on Facebook that requires you to post on my wall that you need “coins” “vegetables” “guns” or anything similar.

8) Allow your Twitter or Facebook account to be compromised, thus causing you to spam me. Here’s the simple rule: If the link doesn’t look like it’s “safe,” don’t click it. If the writing from your friend is different than what you’re used to, don’t click it. “Hello my friend – It has been quite the long time – I found this great site with very savings on much electronics.” Be smarter than that.

7) If you connect anything to Twitter, like Foursquare check-ins, Gowalla check-ins, or automatically tweeting appliances, you’re gone.

6) If every single post or tweet is a complaint, you’re gone. I hate most things to begin with. Difference is, I don’t share them as the ONLY THING I DO IN MY LIFE.

5) If you use Facebook or Twitter to be passive-agressive towards anyone. “Just sitting here reflecting on how selfish some people can be, when you invite them to do something and they say they’re gonna come but don’t.” JUST SAY IT: “SARA: YOU’RE A BITCH, COME WHEN YOU SAY YOU’RE GOING TO.”

4) Don’t connect Twitter to Facebook. They’re two different mediums. If all your FB updates are Twitter updates, then you’ve taken over two of my streams, I’m annoyed, and you’re gone.

3) Don’t overshare. “The fungus is back in my genital region” doesn’t need to be posted anywhere but your medical chart. EVER.

2) Ignore the basics. Please. “At the store. Buying a latte. Doing my laundry. Looking at a dog.” OK, really? We get it.

1) Don’t make your profile photo just your child or your pet, or a celebrity, or anyone who’s not you. It’s YOUR profile photo. Putting only your child or your pet in YOUR profile photo tells me you have absolutely no identity of your own.  Why would I want to friend that?

Any others? Leave them in the comments…

  • http://www.nicksilly.com/ Nick Druga

    I love this list even though I’ve been guilty of almost every one at one time or another except 10 and 8. Would add quote machines and any account that uses TwitterFeed or any app that is similar.

  • http://www.yvonnechase.com Yvonne Chase

    I’m soooooo with you on #4 and #9 is why my FB wall is closed. Too many flowers, coins and all sorts of foolishness on my wall. Great post!

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  • http://www.DynamicRealty.us Rick Stroud (Dynamic Realty)

    I agree with you on all except the foursquare connect. I actually have found it to be a useful tool to aid in conversation, but it has to include more than just a check in. If theres no conversation with it, then its a retreat back the “eating pizza” post. Thanks for your insight.

  • Lindsay Bell

    Hey Peter, great post as usual. You are spot on with how people abuse SM (and in turn, *me*) – the passive aggressive tweets always crack me up. However, I was taught that it’s good etiquette to ‘thank’ someone for a follow (*not* an auto DM, a real-time thank you). Thoughts?

  • http://scottpruett.me Scott

    My rule for Facebook is that I don’t have any friends that I either (1) don’t know personally, or (2) haven’t met in-person, or with a few exceptions (3) haven’t talked to on the phone.

    Works well for me. I still prune my friends list every so often. I completely agree on FB & Twitter being different mediums, and for some reason people just don’t understand that.

  • http://www.simoons.com/en Peter Simoons

    Very recognizable Peter! Here is one very similar to your #9: when you DM me on Twitter that I need to become part of your Maffia Family it will result in an immediate unfollow.

  • Danielle Conklin

    #11 – If you constantly “poke” me on Facebook, that will probably lead to a hasty unfriending.

  • http://theprsituation.blogspot.com @OffThe_Record

    Foursquare too? Is that why you unfollowed me on Twitter LOL? Dude my bad, I’m competitive and a badge whore (my bad). ;^ )

    But anyway add to the list for unfollowing:

    - Depressing people with depressing or depressngly personal tweets.
    - Sexually explicit or profanity ridden tweets.
    - Pro- FOX News tweets (lol)
    - If you change your bio to include the words: rock star, guru, maven or
    Epxert (you’re done)
    - Trying to sell me any of your services or expertice
    - Inactivity on your account

    All of these things will get you unfollowed/unfriended

  • http://www.bucksnetworking.com Jamie Broderick

    Thanks for the morning laugh. Hysterical, but so true.

  • Bonnie

    My rule #1: ‘God bless you’ more than three times and you’re gone… If I wanted to be preached to, I would join that network.

  • Joe DiBiase

    On Twitter, DM’ing me but not following me so I can’t reply.

  • j

    The sad thing is, even if someone does several of those things, and they are a real friend, it’s really hard to hit that unfriend button. I’ll be retweeting this in hopes that my nameless friend/annoying fbook friend clicks.

  • http://www.samerforzley.com Samer Forzley

    I made a list of top 10 a while back http://www.samerforzley.com/20.....n-twitter/

    But I have to say, that the most annoying thing people do on twitter and actually has gotten them to be unfollowed is #followfriday. I cant stand #followfriday

    Please join me to end the madness,
    http://www.samerforzley.com/20.....ke-a-deal/

  • Dan T.

    Nice list.
    Thing number 6.5 or a 11…serial cryptic posters must go. “Pray for me” or “I can’t decide” or “I can’t wait for this to be over”. Ugh.

  • http://www.yournycrealestateresource.com Nicole Beauchamp

    Incessant RTs. Autofeeding things FB,Twitter,Linked In. Incessant sharing. When 16 people share the same link,within an hour of each other-chances are you are going to be hidden from my stream,and eventually unfollowed/unfriended.When it comes to FB-I think people really need to use lists to selectively post,and if you must post these insipid requests for games to a wall-create a FB game only list,and post it to those people alone.Oh also,using twitterfeed and similar applications-so that all 16 people are sharing the link at exactly the same time.

  • http://www.davesaunders.net/blog Dave Saunders

    I think #4 is conditionally true. Automatically linking them is always bad, IMO. However, posting the same message to both places is not automatically bad. I’ve initiated lots of conversations in both locations from a single, cross-posted tweet.

  • Christine Courtney

    Food-related posts… Ugh. I don’t really care that you are making meatloaf. If you are making Grandma’s amazing banana bread, post the recipe. If you are dining at a restaurant, share useful information! Check in (so we know the address) and recco choice menu items. Or, tell us something relevant like they run late on reservations or the bartender with the beard makes a great martini.

  • http://www.brandcentralstation.com Mike Bawden

    A great morning chuckle – and some very sage advice. Thanks.

    Oh, and sorry to hear about the fungus. :)

    Have a great day, Peter.

  • http://www.juliechristiansen.com Julie Christiansen

    Along with passive aggressive behaviours – using FB as a way to air a family’s dirty laundry is a definite NO.

    Also, interpeting my acceptance of your friend request or my follow as permission for you to spam me with countless shameless ads for your product or service will result in a quick disconnect.

    Lastly, posting photos or videos to my wall of your drunken weekend escapades is also not cool.

  • KEK

    I unfollowed someone on Twitter because they failed to observe #4 and then blocked them on FB because of #2. I don’t need to spend mental energy on someone who is boring AND foolish.

  • Linnda

    7) automatic tweeting appliances??? Lmao! That’s almost scary.

  • TARA

    If you have a business page don’t post identical status updates on both your personal and business pages. Maybe once in a blue moon. And don’t autofeed purchased content to either page let alone both. Especially if you’ve linked your twitter. Seriously some of the guys I work with do this so I see the same content three times – and they didn’t even write it. Then I see it from someone else. Morons.

  • NavyAustin

    Love #6 (complaining) and #5 (passive aggressive). Here’s a variant: Don’t use your Facebook status as a “cry for help/attention/hugs/therapy” with sad yet detail-free posts (and no context in surrounding posts as to what is upsetting you.. “Melinda is sad…” “Is having doubts…” These require someone to say “Oh, poor baby, tell me what happend?” It’s ok to be sad, but come out and say what’s bothering you!

  • Manassas

    Though I only monitor Peter’s blog because it’s part of my gig at the CIA, and I usually roll my eyes at his annoying condescension and sycophantic followers, I loved this post and chuckled heartilty throughout…well done!

  • http://mintfreshmarketingblog.com Chelsea

    Agreed on all – though I don’t mind the quotidian updates, after all SM is about authenticity and life is mostly about the day-to-day tasks we all slog through :)

  • http://www.LinkedIn.com/MsDuctTape Ana-Marie Jones (@MsDuctTape)

    Awesome Peter!
    My addition: Random acts of abbreviation, coupled with typos, emoticons, and extra characters. “RU c’ing us ths wekend? Gotta knw b4 7, 2 get U a tckt ;-) can’t wait.,it”ll be gr8!” Really?

  • http://www.thewowfactor-thebook.com Frances Cole Jones

    Ceaselessly mentioning your kid. “Today Jimmy heard thunder and went and looked in the dryer.” “You might not have liked the Black Eyed Peas, but Jimmy couldn’t stop rocking out during the super bowl” etc….

  • http://qaqn.com Daniel M. Clark

    I’ve never unfollowed someone for #followfriday, 4Sq tweets, or anything like that; I use the global filter in Tweetdeck to block it all so I’m not throwing out the baby with the bath water. I know not everyone uses a client with filtering, but it’s an option.

  • http://www.samerforzley.com Samer Forzley

    I never used global filtering I should try it, good tip.

  • http://www.lauraslifecoaching.com Laura

    I love this post!! So true and it’s stuff I say all the time! Thanks for typing it up!!

  • http://FocusedWords.com Pamela Wright

    Don’t post links you haven’t checked out. Hate going to a link only to find it has nothing to do with the conversation.

  • Elaine Spitz

    Helpful list, Peter. I never unfriend people on FB, as I keep that for people I actually know – however I’ve blocked many an app and taken people out of my newsfeed for just the infractions you mention above. Never been poked, though, that I know of.

    Thanks for the help, humor and sometimes hellaciousness you bring.

  • http://www.stefantornquist.com Stefan

    Peter,
    Couldn’t agree more on #1. Thanks for articulating. Good luck with the book launch.
    Stefan

  • blendedminds

    I agree, especially with the “Don’t link Facebook and Twitter” rule. Who was the idiot that created that link?

    Lastly, I get sick and tired of the people who constantly promote on Twitter and Facebook. Once in awhile is okay, I might be generally interested in what I know their selling. Still: Be yourself. I get tired of PR people who just push their clients. You can see right through them.

  • John Tebbel

    “I hate most things”

    Maurice Chevalier just appeared to me in a vision and said, “It’s impossible to be sad in heaven, but I would be if I could after reading this. Please reconsider.”

  • NavyAustin

    @ Dan T – “serial cryptic posters” — Love it! The exact phenomenon I was trying to describe..

  • http://www.imarketingmix.com Melissa Richards

    I have personally adopted all but #7. Depending on where you are, your location can be news worthy of sharing. I don’t care if John Doe checks into his office every day. But if he arrives at an event worthy of a Foursquare Swarm Badge, then maybe I want to be there, too!

  • http://twitter.com/avjessica Jessica Spicer

    Asking to be mentioned on #FollowFriday or to be added to one of my lists is also obnoxious and, in concert with one of the others, a good way to get unfollowed/ unfriended.

  • http://drinkipa.wordpress.com Ken

    #274982: If you post to my wall what should have been in a private email.

  • http://www.jennmercer.com Jenn

    I have one more for you:
    Requiring me to go to a third party site to do anything with you. I followed someone and got a DM that I needed to go to “TrueTwit validation service.” True twit, indeed.

  • http://twitter.com/welshwonder Ty Francis

    #7…i’ll Tweet some checkins if, for example, the brand (my gym, my hotel chain) is following me (its worked as they have often DM me saying “Hey great to have you back” or a follower will see it and join that gym) or somewhere interesting like an airport, as it will tell those people of Twitter i follow/follow me back, that i’m in their town (a i really don’t see the point in having 4Sq connections you don’t know IRL).

    #6…i’ll have bouts of complaining, and its worked brilliantly, but i agree, just using Twitter/Facebook as an outlet for venting, is annoying.

    #4, can we add linking 4sq, Gowalla, Whrrl to LinkedIn. I get (although don’t like) why a friend would tweet “I’m at Crif Dogs” and my friends on Facebook (remember when Facebook was for just friends and not fans/random people you met once at a conference) would be interested that i am at a famous NY Hot Dog place. But why would want to know why a business associate is at Crif DOgs, or that they just saw “The Black Swan”….escapes me. I hide peoples updates on LinkedIn that link their twitter account.

    So rule of Thumb. If you are a friend collector on FB and have a gazillion friends…you are out of your mind, so your stream will be full of people saying stuff you dont care about anyway. IF like one of the comments above as ‘j’ mentioned, they are real friends (Lets remember that we are not all perfect and what we think is perfectly acceptable, could be annoying to others) then simply hide their updates its tough, but just hide them.

    11# People talking about their pets. They’re pets not people. I, personally dont give a monkeys about how cute your dog is.

    At the end of the day, we are all annoying to each other in our own way, so maybe letting people get on with their lives and letting people post what they want may be the way forward. I don’t want to get alll biblical on your collective asses but there is a saying “judge not lest ye be judged”…think about it.

    So, nice post Peter, all your points are valid especially #10, 9, 8, 5, 3, 2, 1. BUT If someone’s a friend i would never unfollow them for posting a farmville post, as i’m not that important, or that impressive that i get to dictate what annoying, or irritating is. I guess i’m lucky i have friends who don’t mind that i am both.

  • http://www.warmanhomecare.com/ Warman Home Care

    I agree with most of these! Someone should come out with Twitter etiquette.

  • http://www.adamsofineti.com Adam Sofineti

    Rule #4 is true for LinkedIn too.

  • http://www.stuccoitalianoinc.com/ Aaron

    I would add politics. If you are a business please, keep your political opinions for your personal life.

  • http://www.twitter.com/lorirusso Lori

    Wholeheartedly agree with Peter’s list and with a lot of the comments. One of my other main irritants on Twitter is people who constantly post what song they are listening to on Pandora. Or their iPod. Or whatever. I really don’t gain anything by imagining you listening to Livin’ on a Prayer.

  • http://www.getitinwriting.net Daniel Keller

    Agreed on all ten points, Peter. I do draw one distinction, though, with #4: I agree one shouldn’t link their personal FB page with Twitter, but I know many people who link their FB business page with Twitter, myself included. (Hmm…I thought for a moment that might be why you unfollowed me, but since you never followed my biz page, that can’t be it…guess I was just part of the purge…>sniff!<…) Seriously though, most of these points are reasons I unfollow people too. We've got more than enough data coming at us that we can't turn off….I appreciate the ability to filter what I receive via social media channels.

  • http://mistletoeethaniel.wordpress.com Mistletoe

    How about “Using Twitter as an IM”. I’ve un-followed people who clog up my timeline with their own personal discussion. Once or twice is one thing; constantly is a ticket to un-follow-ville.

  • Connie

    #1 & #5 r my pet peeves!!!

  • http://www.isobreathing.com Ellen

    Thank you for posting your list. I totally agree with you. I hate spam and garbage, especially the games on FB. I really do not care how many farm animals you have.

  • http://bonniezink.com Bonnie Zink

    Social media is meant to connect us in this new digital age…I firmly believe that. The rule of thumb I use is to share what interests me. Idol chit chat doesn’t cut it for me in face-to-face conversations and I don’t put up with it in the digital world either. Why would I care if you are walking your dog or eating lunch. Now if you connect that update with a post that contains content of value, like an article on the benefits of walking your dog or one on how to eat healthy in a restaurant, then I might be interested.

    Agreed on all points on this list. Thanks for sharing what the world is thinking.

  • http://www.NowhereHair.com sue glader

    Sadly, I think that quite a few people don’t understand that their game playing (or zodiac chart, etc) is being splattered all over everyone else. I told my girlfriend that I didn’t really want to know her astro chart every week, and she said she had no idea it was doing that.

  • http://oregonstate.edu/dept/nurspest/index.htm Robin

    As usual, you have hit the mark. Really enjoy reading what many of us think but have yet to capture in a list. Do want to mention though, I stopped posting my image after a brief but yucky encounter with a cyberstalking creep. I do use something related to my work but don’t want to help slimy morons identify me.

  • Colleen Kelly

    Well…. P.S. you are either very annoyed, very funny… or both.. I agree with most all you said… If not all of it. I do however have a Twitter and Facebook pic that is NOT Me. I admit to not having a working digtal camera and that I am in need of understanding HOW, to getting a photo on the computer. Does that mean I am ……
    “Persona Non Grata”? Gee I hope not, because I do enjoy your Tweets eachday and tweeting you in return , and wouldn’t want to think you are being “nausiated”…. by my little impefections..
    You can File this under #sarcasim……… How do you feel about that one? ……P.S.

    (wink) :D… SMILE ! (btw, I do like the P.S…cute

  • http://davesaunders.net/blog Dave Saunders

    Perhaps #11 should be about rude snakiness from people who view being behind a keyboard as the same social lubricant as binge drinking. :)

  • http://davesaunders.net/blog Dave Saunders

    Er, “snarkiness”

    Damn you autocorrect!

  • Melissa

    Biggest pet peeve for FB….commenting on everything I post with annoying comments. Almost stalkerish….de-friended for sure.

  • http://visibilityshift.wordpress.com giselle bisson

    #1 thing that gets you unfollowed — a profile photo without a shirt, drinking a huge martini while obviously bombed, heavy tattoos, wierd piercings, wearing your Burning Man costume (unless it’s August 28), wearing a Halloween costume, wearing your Renaissance Fair bodice, swallowing fire…

    One more peeve — people who post a picture of themself plus their mate instead of their own photof. I’m following you, not your girlfriend, ok?

  • Sarah Gjestvang

    My biggest pet peeve on FB lately is “Status Shuffle.” As near as I can tell, it lets you choose a jokey/goofy saying from a large list of equally inane sayings, then post it as your status. If you can’t think of your own updates, don’t post.

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  • http://www.myntpr.com Ronnie Manning

    Good read. Agree completely.

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  • http://Spidvid.com Jeremy Campbell

    Good tips, I follow all of them except I have connected Twitter with Facebook which my friends don’t seem to mind since I share lots of interesting things. I wish there was a way to curate and filter which tweets go to Facebook though!

  • http://ww.youtube.com/oranse Chip Mayhugh

    I ask followers to unfollow me if they aren’t into filmmaking, fishing, or football. I follow whoever I want, hardly any of them are into fishing or filmmaking. Youtube doesn’t have any of these problems. Make videos.

  • http://www.virtualappoint.com Ron Davis

    Hilarious. Have been Facebook-free for two years and counting…and loving it.

  • Sara

    Medium = singular
    Media = plural
    Mediums = not really a word, unless you’re ordering a pizza.

  • Betsy Decillis

    I slightly disagree with #7. If you are constantly sending out your 4sq check-ins with no comments or photos to give some kind of context, I hate you and you deserve that unfollow. But, I will admit to have all of my runs automatically posted to Twitter via RunKeeper. Yes, it might annoy some people, but I’ve found that those posts tend to start more interaction than anything else. My friends cheering me on gives me more motivation to do my training and I have heard on more than one occasion that those posts have motivated/guilt-tripped others to get out there to do their run.

    I’d also like to add to this list: those that farm my work email from Facebook to try to sell me something. I put my work email for my members to be able to easily locate it if they need to send me something. Despite the fact that another email is also listed, my work email is always the one that is lifted. Annoying.

  • http://www.reyburnphotography.co.uk Karen

    The worst Twitter crime is companies who follow me, and then when I go to send a (real, not automatic) message to say thanks, I discover that they aren’t following me anymore. A lot of companies have realised that Twitter will notify of a follow, but not of an un-follow. So they click follow, get the person to follow them back nine times out of ten (because a lot of people automatically follow someone who is following them), and then proceed to un-follow them so they’re not in their feed.

    Unkind, stupid, and bad business practice.

  • Erika Lewis

    How about if you have a work twitter and a personal twitter, and you tweet the EXACT same thing on both so I get it twice… double unfollowed!

  • leslie

    Agreed on all points except I differ a bit on #4 for a Facebook business page & #7. I wouldn’t link my personal page to Twitter, but on a business page, I find the comments & feedback are very different.
    On #4 & 4Sq, I travel to different cities and through posting on both Twitter & checking in on 4Sq, I have met new & interesting people – very similar to your WiFi experience. I only post to Twitter those checkins that featured a comment or these days, a photo. I also only share check ins on 4 Sq or Twitter that are about events, restaurants or coffeeshops, exhibitions and some retail experiences if I see something interesting. Banking, gym workouts & that sort of thing, I keep to myself.
    I actually scored an ACE hotel room that had been listed as sold out though Twitter & a 4Sq check in. I think it’s a great networking tool provided you have something to share.

  • Lauren James

    “I hate most things to begin with.”

    I think I love you.

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  • http://janedevin.com Jane

    None of the above.

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  • http://thesocialhost.com Stef Hostetter

    Love all these points, have to add an 11th:

    I HATE ALL of the following types of status updates: Raise awareness for this by posting this studpid message as your status “for at least a day.”

  • http://blog.rewardstream.com Christina Ing

    I’d have put the ‘Auto DMs’ as #1 for the absolute *worst* thing to do.

  • http://www.tracecohen.me Trace Cohen

    Great list – guilty of a few. I make sure to keep my Facebook and twitter separate.

    What do you think of RSS feed into your twitter account?

  • Nicole

    I agree on all of them, and I’m occasionally guilty of a couple. :-) One you forgot, overTweeting. I do NOT want to see a tweet from you, every 10 minutes (or less), all.day.long. I have other stuff in my feed I may want to read and I never see it because you’re too busy retweeting something you tweeted a week ago (which was from the week before that). I don’t know if this person uses an auto-Tweet thing, but I unfollowed recently, and I’ve been much more active on Twitter since because I actually see the stuff I’m interested in. Another thing that the over-Tweeting does is it makes me wonder if they actually WORK during the day, or are they just tweeting…or if it’s someone else tweeting in their name, then WHY would I trust the source?

  • Rachel Patterson

    I hate cryptic messages! If you want to share it, share it. None of this “waiting is the hardest part” and you wont say what you are waiting for. If you want to share, share, if not, don’t waste my space. Great post. All of it is so true. I definitely got a kick out of it.

  • http://sheilacrosby.com Sheila Crosby

    Multiple daily posts on politics while assuming that everyone who disagrees with your politics is an arrogant moron and probably a traitor. I don’t mind the disagreement as such, it’s constantly being told I’m closed-minded by someone whose own mind is hermetically sealed.

  • http://arnierozahkrogh.com Ar’nie Rozah Krogh

    What about using personal Facebook profile for business? And adding random strangers who happens to be friends of friends? And the opposite of #6, only repeating constantly how fabulous/amazing their week/day/holiday was? Come on, give me some truths!

  • http://www.thetravelinggiraffe.com Crissy

    I agree with most, but find there are some ways around them.
    If you don’t care about farmville and mafia wars and fishville, etc. Block them, I play one of those game and block posts from the rest. I don’t even know if anyone plays Mafia Wars anymore. BUT, don’t make a status update about your games.
    And people who post stupid things, If we’re real friends I’ll just hide them.
    And if you write rude/obnoxious things to me I’ll unfriend you and block you. If you’re not enhancing my life on Facebook then I don’t need you.

  • http://www.kayross.com Kay Ross

    Great list, thanks Peter (I especially agree with #4). I have similar criteria for following (or rather, not following) people back on twitter – here’s my blog post about that: “If I’m Not Following You Back On Twitter, Here’s Why”. http://budurl.com/kv4b

  • shane

    The worst offenders have to be the people who tweet out good morning and good night.

    S

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  • http://laststopt1.com Fred

    Nice post! I so agree with #6. I also hate when people are emotional rollercoaster.

  • http://Www.lynnvalentinebooks.blogspot.com Lynn Valentine

    Dang it…guilty of #1…. ok I’m going to change that right now. (Cant wait to see what happens next) thanks for the tip(s).

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  • NoComment

    Unfriend if someone has actually taken the time to change your settings so that I can not see your wall

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