We’re angry at the wrong part of the Lindsey Stone story

PETER SHANKMAN

POSTED ON November 21st, 2012

27 COMMENTS

By now, we’ve all heard of Lindsey Stone, the rocket scientist who decided to in her words “be a douchebag” and post a photo of her disrespecting Arlington National Cemetery, our Armed Forces, and anyone who’s ever fought for freedom.

It’s interesting – Everyone is angry at her (and rightfully so) for being disrespectful – no doubt. But I think there’s a bigger story here. If I were her boss, I’d be angry at myself for hiring her – Not because she did something this stupid, but because she didn’t have the basic foresight to know that this was going to blow up in her face.

In our effort to immediately post everything we do online, more and more we’re bypassing common sense. And that will hurt us. To me, it’s no longer about the act the person did, but rather, the fact they didn’t think, for one second, that this would come back to bite them in the ass.

Facebook is creating a nation of no-impulse-control. “I have to get it online!” has replaced “let me think about this for a second” as our mantra. And that will hurt us.

Let’s face it – The first rule today simply HAS to be – “When this gets out, will it cause me trouble?” More often than not, the answer is “yes.” Lindsey Stone should have known this. It’s basic common sense. We’re supposed to learn about our actions having consequences when we’re younger – And now, more than ever, with instant worldwide communication, there is no ability to think about it later and remove it. Once it’s there, it’s there. This isn’t the first time this month we’ve heard about this – It happened just a few weeks ago, and a few weeks before that… The stories don’t live very long in the real world, but they do online. And they do forever. Just ask Kevin Colvin. Or Darren Sherman.

I guarantee you that employers are now more than ever, looking for critical thinking skills in their employees. The skills that say “I know the consequences that this might have down the road.” They’re looking for employees who play Chess, and have the ability to think six moves ahead.

So the next time a Lindsey Stone pops up, don’t waste too much time being angry at her – Rather, pass it around the office and make sure your employees know that sometimes, it’s not the action itself, but the resulting actions that can get you in a world of hurt.

chuck wall

Peter,

Great points. I’m reminded of the Kiss-Me-Cams at sporting events where normal, unassuming people mug for their 10 seconds of Jumbotron time. Self control seems to be a lost art/skill that needs to make a fast return. Happy Thanksgiving.
http://StuartTracte.com/ Stuart Tracte

The real crime is that anyone gives a crap about some insignificant idiot with terrible judgement. That people would actually rally around punishing this moron. I call it “feigned outrage” and social media has created a tidal wave of this problem. Why don’t we stop making idiots lives worse than they already are and focus our energy on changing things that matter… This person surely doesn’t deserve to lose their job. THAT is the travesty.
sabelmom

This is so true. She definitely didn’t take this photo thinking “this would be a great one for the scrapbook”. It was taken specifically for the “look at me factor”. Sadly, the person taking the photo isn’t being held to the same standard as the person in the photo…..what is her name? Why isn’t she being called out in the article? Taking the photo is lacking just as much common sense (maybe even more so) than the person in the picture.
Jon

Totally agree, Peter. And I also don’t really get the pitchfork driven moral outrage over stuff like this. There are idiots everywhere. Don’t people have better things to do than signing petitions to try get a stranger fired?
shankman

Not sure I agree. Let’s say someone does something stupid and it offends, I dunno… Let’s say it offends veterans. Thanks to FB and our world of insta-share, the photo of the offense is now public. Let’s the the veterans, who are usually quite organized, rally against it. Well, veterans shop, get their oil changed, eat, etc. See my point? One stupid employee’s post has the potential to put a company out of business. That’s why people care… Thoughts?
Lisa Morgan

I’ve read too many stories like this to not think about what I’m posting before I post. It constantly astounds me what some people think it’s okay to put out there in the public’s eye. My teen sons are on the internet now, and I keep trying to drill into them that everything they do online has consequences. I hope they pick up on that message.
http://tdhurst.com/ tdhurst

Curious as to how she “OBVIOUSLY meant no disrespect” in the picture.
http://www.facebook.com/peterngiles Peter Giles

To paraphrase Stuart, social media has the potential of creating a tidal wave out of a problem. It is this potential career altering outcome that people should consider when making decisions in their lives, particularly when a camera and Internet are involved. Common sense is thrown out the door so often, and then people sit there and wonder, “why all the commotion?” Duh.
http://twitter.com/content_muse Anthony Pensabene

peter, i respectfully disagree with you here. i do not condone or respect Lindsey’s actions leading to subsequent disrespect felt by many, but it’s her right to express herself.

i would not want my boss preoccupied with my thoughts and values directly irrelevant to their company. if everything i share/do/record is associated with them on my time, i believe that’s more of a dictatorship. i think your message is to have more common sense – i understand. however, i would not expect someone to cease being themselves in fear of not aligning themselves with their company.

if a boss really needs to pass such around the office as a lesson in common sense, I question theirs. the relation between pomp and circumstance will also exist. sure, it’s something we suspect the masses understand (if x then (possibly) yz..), but i would never create a culture of paranoia/control or address the notion of, “hey workers, you better have common sense..”
http://StuartTracte.com/ Stuart Tracte

There has to be a better punishment. I completely understand your point and I’m somewhat torn, as I usually take a more vigilant position on stupidity. Yet, seing someone lose their job over this breaks my heart. It’s way too easy to jump on a bandwagon these days. Im not sure how outraged people truly are. It seems as its just “cool” to show outrage to something like this.
bsimi

It’s what I call the being “First” mentality. You know, those people that need to be the first to view a video or comment on a post, only to type the word “First” with no other thoughts or reason. It is the same way of thinking only from a contributors view point. It isn’t simply about the lack of thought that goes into posting items like this, it’s the compulsion to do things fast, hard and for an immediate reaction. Facebook along with many other digital platforms is definitely creating a society that acts, long before it thinks!
JD Savage

I have to agree with Stuart here. Along with the insta-share world we’ve created, we’ve also created a world of feigned outrage busy bodies. Veterans are pissed? They did what they did, and do, every day so that people like Ms. Stone can do what she did. And more. And worse. Just saying “I’m offended” doesn’t get you an automatic pass. You’re offended – Yeah? And?
I understand what you mean about the shop/buy/out of business connection, but if people weren’t so quick to be offended, we might actually get some real work done.
shankman

Problem is, Anthony, when was the last time someone did something stupid and the media didn’t say “WHO WORKED AT ________” – See the problem? There is no more “off-time.” You kill a stripper at 3am on a Saturday, and you still work at ______. That’s where we are now. Good or bad, still happens.
shankman

Also – I’m not saying we all shouldn’t chill the hell out and not worry so much – But unfortunately, we don’t, and the mob mentality rules in the world. I don’t agree with it, but I do know that if you have a business, you can’t afford to hire people who put you in the crosshairs. That’s the end of it, you know?
shankman

You’re right! It does! But that’s it – It does!! It’s up to us not to fuel it by being an idiot!
http://www.arshimbo.com Andre Archimbaud

I left this on FB, but wanted to be present here, too:

I would add that we are generally more & more disconnected from the things we do & who we are – not just because of social media, but it certainly doesn’t help. To this point: I’ve noticed that when people refer to various maladies (when my mother had a brain tumor or my grandmother had back surgery), I saw that they referred to their body parts as ‘the back’ or ‘the tumor.’ Instead of ‘my back’ or ‘my brain/head.’ My point here is that the further we get away from realizing that we own these things, that we are these things, we get further from our humanity. The benefit of social media is to distribute your message to multitudes of people quickly – without having to own a transmitter, printing press or hire a crew. But, the downside seems to be this disconnect from our humanity.
1barefootgirl

Who was she doing this for anyway? Her friends? Hope they had a laugh riot. I think she knew exactly what she was doing, but like any two year old these days, thought mommy and daddy would take her out for ice cream instead of all the vitriol and punishment.
http://twitter.com/JasonChupick Jason Chupick

Stuart, You’re pretty cool for being willing to hash out why this story is what it is. I’d have to dig deeper, but “assists adults with disabilities” would make one pause, right? She might be awesome at that, and exhibit terrible judgement otherwise.
http://twitter.com/content_muse Anthony Pensabene

i understand your reply. it’s more likely the media/world will flock to a story about me killing a stripper at 3am then one of Wil Reynolds sleeping in the cold to raise money for homeless youth, bringing our aligned brands along for the ride.

you hit on a nerve for me personally. i have an issue with the notion of ‘scaling’ personality/vision/brand, and at the risk of making more money or being seen as a ‘success,’ would not want the added anxiety of my business’ image (possibly) being marred by workers, on and off the clock – yes, such instances are more prolific in modern times. maybe my disagreement is more aligned with that reality as you point out than the need for bosses to deal with it.. good talk, Peter :)
@ckdozi

Compassion. This woman is expressing something important or not to her. Throw love up to the universe when you experience something that reflects upon you negatively. Trust. in each moment do the right thing. Life is going to happen. Pundits on every subject on general topics. Action. You see something bringing negativity, you bring it/be ‘how it should be’ to the each person you encounter in every moment. I hear what you are saying but her action is not different than the shenanigans at every level, life of human beings. People tend to do is react emotionally – you are right I am wrong = war. Be with. 7 million people and each person is in fear of the next – be with, communicate from nothing your expression with compassion for how it impacts another person.
Laura

To me, the issue – specific to her losing her job – is that she did this while on a company sponsored/paid for trip. Meaning, she was “on the company dime” when she committed her act of stupidity. I would feel differently, if she did this “on her own time/dime.”
http://www.facebook.com/vpossek Veronika Possek

I think that the problem here is that – and not just in USA, but anyplace reasonably affluent – the society lately appears to reinforce not taking responsibility for one’s actions. People are used to not get, pardon my French, called on their shit.

With social media, there is far more chance that people being idiots get called on their shit. I can only see good resulting from this – perhaps it’ll teach people (of any age, idiots don’t only come in teenage or toddler or old) some responsibility for how how they act in public, private and on the internet.
http://www.facebook.com/nealr Neal Rapoport

I agree that the girl who posted it had poor judgement, but from the articles, her intention wasn’t to disrespect anyone, so it was taken out of context. If we knew her, we’d probably know the way she jokes & whatnot, and maybe this wouldn’t seem more than a stupid choice of locations for such a picture. It even seems like she had the picture private, so one of her “friends” must’ve re-posted it publicly.

We all probably have pictures in our facebook timelines that if taken out of context and put in the hands of someone who doesn’t know us could be judged as politically incorrect, offensive or worse. We all take a risk with every post and this is a good lesson for all of us to re-read before posting, but mistakes are sure to happen, and unfortunately for this girl, this one went viral.
http://twitter.com/andreastenberg Andrea J. Stenberg

I have two thoughts here. First, I attended an event at the Chamber of Commerce where a lawyer was advising employers to check Facebook, Twitter etc before hiring an employee. The advice was if an applicant publicly post things about drug use, drunken behaviour or other inappropriate actions then this person shouldn’t be hired. Like it or not, social media has made every community a small town where everyone knows everything about you.

My second thought is that this is type of poor judgement is actually an anomaly. In my experience business people on social media are so worried about looking foolish or harming their reputation that they over think what they post and don’t show any personality.
Michael Durwin

I join those that disagree with you Peter. What Lindsey did was indeed disrespectful and distasteful, I would not be her friend. However, saying that a free citizen should stifle their freedom of expression for fear of reprisals by an employee does not support our freedom of speech. What’s the difference between being jailed by the government for speaking your opinion and your employee firing you because of it? Is it okay for employers to threaten to fire their staff over who they chose to receive their vote for President? Is it okay for Apple to fire an employee for buying an Android phone?
You’re right that we’re angry at the wrong part of the Lindsey Stone story. We should be outraged that employers are sticking their noses into our personal lives. We should be furious that companies are forcing is to be secretive about our activities outside the office. We should be incensed that companies are limiting our freedom of speech and modifying our behavior with threats of loss of income. We shouldn’t be surprised though, corporations are people too, and they have personal and political agendas with no problem using their money and power to achieve that agenda.
http://www.facebook.com/geraldine.white.35 Geraldine White

she was on a work related trip
http://www.swordandthescript.com/ Frank Strong

Is it that we have less impulse control today than in year’s past, or just the chance to share it that makes is appear that way? I don’t know the answer, but it’s a thought that occurred to me in reading this.

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