PETER SHANKMAN
| POSTED ON June 23rd, 2011 | 56 COMMENTS | + ADD YOUR COMMENT |
Another post in the continuing series of “How to be Taken Seriously.” This one focuses on learning how to figure out when it’s time to do something different, and how to get the impetus (read: balls) to make that change.
So I’ll come clean here… I booked this week vacation to Thailand for a number of reasons.
1) I just freaking love Thailand. There’s something about this country, whether Bangkok or Phuket, whether Patong Beach eating food from a cart and drinking a beer in the sand, or the breakfast buffet at The Sukhothai Hotel with actual honey dripping from honeycombs that is like no other place in the world.
2) I wanted to get away with someone I can actually stand for more than 20 minutes at a time.
Seriously, bro, they were that big.
But there’s one more reason. It’s a reason I didn’t tell anyone, because, well, I hadn’t actually been able to put it into my own consciousness until about an hour ago, when I nearly drowned while riding a wave on the beach that tossed me headfirst into the sand. (Seriously. Imagine just a pair of legs sticking out of three feet water waving in the wind while I frantically tried to dig my head out from a foot and a half of sand.)
I need a rebirth, and I don’t quite know how to do it.
So let’s define, first. What’s a rebirth? Am I getting out of the marketing game and going to sell SUVs in the Valley? Hell no. I genuinely love what I do, and I know I’m good at it. I know that I’m able to merge marketing, advertising, PR, and social media into this wormhole of toil and trouble, and come up with amazing results on the other side. I’m lucky that way, in that I truly enjoy it. So I’m not going to give it up at all.
But, I’m pretty damn sure that something needs to change. Look, when you know, you know. Problem is, I’m not sure entirely how to do it. I think I’m at a point that a lot of us get to – I don’t have any proverbial wolves at my door, be them in the form of late rent payments or credit card debt… I’m comfortable, like most of us are. Problem is, comfort tends to lead to complacency. Much like the person who may want to leave the corporate world but is too addicted to the crack pipe of Direct Deposit, I spend my time consulting, angel investing, and speaking. It’s been a year since I sold HARO, and while I’m still involved with the day-to-day, my wonderful buyers have taken the lead in defining the next generation of greatness that HARO will become. That excites me, but also leaves me wondering… what’s next?
We all ask ourselves that question at one time or another, in some form. “Do I want to keep working at this company, or go out on my own? Do I want to take the plunge and ask my girlfriend to marry me? Do I want to move out of my mom’s basement and build an even better waste management system for the International Space Station?” It’s moments like these to which our lives boil down. The inevitable “shit or get off the pot” moments.
So this vacation, as it were, for me, is a quest for a rebirth. And we’re funny creatures. If we let ourselves be guided by instinct, we’ll almost always find that most everything we do is done for a bigger purpose. For some of us, our “addiction to running” is actually our bodies forcing us to leave the world behind, once a day or so, for six miles, to regroup. For others, it’s the “thwack” of a golf club against a ball, or the sound a knitting needle makes when it goes through a fabric. (I have no idea what that sound actually is, but I imaging it to be an extremely soft “swiiish.”)
Thing is, we almost never realize why we’re doing what we’re doing until we get knocked over the head by it. (Or in my case, getting my head knocked into the sand.)
For me, I realized that I’m here because I need to figure out “what’s next.” It’s my time.
So, with that, I offer a few questions for you to ask yourself, if you find yourself feeling that nagging “something” somewhere in your soul, that makes you ask “is it time to figure out what’s next for me?” Then, I give you a few ways to actually try and figure out what’s next for you.
Is it time for a change?
1) Are you just coasting? We all do it. We wake up one morning and head to work, and it’s January 3rd. We look up at the clock, sure it’s not even 10am, and it’s May 15th. We have no idea where the time went, and we don’t remember doing anything for those past five months, other than sitting in the office, going home, occasionally going out, and so on. Five months gone. Remember: Time lost, will never be found again. In short, if you find yourself coasting, perhaps that’s a sign that it’s time to figure out what’s next.
2) Are your typical “things that help you get through” no longer helping as much? There’s a reason drug addicts usually wind up in treatment, other than the fact that they’re addicted to drugs. The human body has an amazing way of building up tolerances to almost anything. Burn yourself once? Hurts like hell. Do it again the next day (because let’s face it, you’re just a klutz in the kitchen,) and it somehow doesn’t hurt as much. Same thing with drugs. The one hit you took for the first time as a junior in college that got you so messed up for the night won’t do anything for you if you keep doing it. You’ll need more and more. Thing is, it’s the same thing with your mind. If your six-mile run, or 18 holes on the weekend, or even the skydives you make once a week aren’t doing it for you anymore, you need to stop and examine the reasons why. Chances are, they’re not helping anymore because they can’t. A run will almost always clear your head, but it can’t tell you “OK, dude, you’ve done your time at Innatech, it’s time to move on to something more challenging.” But, that tolerance you’re building up? That’s what you have to listen to. That’s what you need to be aware of. That six mile run isn’t helping anymore for a reason, and adding another six miles to it won’t do it, either. It’s something bigger.
3) Is “something” nagging at you? Something you can’t put your finger on? The number of forms this one can take is infinite. You need to find out yourself if this is the case: Is it mental? Are you “angry” at work for no apparent reason? Are you at the point where you’re asking yourself if what you’re doing is even worth it?” If you find yourself using any of these phrases more, it might be: “What’s the point?” “What does it matter?” “Oh, screw it.” “Let’s blow off work and head to the Justin Beiber concert.” Any of those could be your brain or your soul saying “OK, dude, let’s make a break and start again.”
4) This is the biggie: Do you already know the answer, and are simply lying to yourself? It’s not an easy question to ask, nor to answer. But you know the truth. We always know the truth, because it comes from within. If you wake up, and you’re sitting in bed drinking that first glass of water, and the first thing you do is push a nagging thought out of your brain, you might need to ask yourself what that thought is. Tomorrow morning, don’t push it out. Listen to it. Write down what it says. And think about it.
OK, so you realize it might be time for that change.
Now what?
Contrary to popular belief, the biggest life changes don’t always start out that way. In fact, they rarely do. I’m not talking about “lottery winner” life changes, where you walk into your boss’s office, flip him the bird, and moon the admin staff as you walk out the door. While the Jerry McGuire “Come With Me” scene makes for awesome watching, life doesn’t happen that way. The big changes rarely happen all at once. Much like life itself, the big changes are actually lots of little changes that start and grow over the course of time. When everyone comes over and congratulates you on your “overnight success,” of course, you’re the only one who really knows it’s just a collected series of moments. So don’t look for the massive change all at once, you’ll rarely find it. Rather, start with the simple changes, as outlined below. (But before you do, watch the “Come With Me” speech from Jerry McGuire. It really is awesome.)
1) What is it you need to do? Hammer that out first, and the rest becomes cream cheese. Is it a new job? Is it going out on your own? Is it a promotion? Is it acting? Whatever it is, until you figure out some little bit of it, you’re going to have a hard time taking that first step. Remember this: Every step is a first step, and over time, they add up to one hell of a long, awesome walk. But if you don’t know where you’re going, taking that first step is going to be hard as hell.
2) Have a plan. Go out and buy a notebook. Yes, an actual notebook, like you used in school. Start writing in it. Every time you have a thought, write it down. Read through it every once in a while. the idea will be in there, trust me on this. Your job is just to pick it out of everything else in there.
3) Shadow. Got an idea of what you want to do? Find someone else who does it, and shadow them. Sit down with them. Ask them questions. Keep in mind, this isn’t “asking them to do your work under the guise of picking their brain,” this is karmic. You’re asking another human being to talk about what they do, because you might actually want to do it yourself. I’ll never, ever turn down that request, and no other good person will, either. Find that good person, and ask their advice. Then listen to it. You’ll know if what they’re doing is what you want to do soon enough. If it is, cool. If not, keep looking, and no harm, no foul.
The Monkey Has the Answer!
4) Find a new perspective. I came to Thailand looking for a new perspective, without even realizing that’s what I was doing. I just thought I wanted to hang out with a monkey. Go somewhere else for the day, week, whatever. Doesn’t have to be Thailand, hell, doesn’t even have to be more than 50 miles from home. A park, a water park, a batting cage, a lake, a tall building with lots of staircases… Just someplace you can be different, someplace you can be someone else, both to everyone else, but more importantly, to yourself. Being a different person to yourself is the key to finding out what you need to be doing differently. The more you can do this, the better off you’ll be when you’re ready to take the plunge, and have that rebirth. In the end, we find that those small changes are generated from us becoming ok with being someone else. Most of the time, it comes along slowly, but it does come.
5) Finally, use your downtime to better yourself. I’m currently reading Rob Lowe’s autobiography (don’t laugh, it’s actually really good) and in it, he talks about how, in between films, he’d hang out at Emilio Estevez’s house, reading scripts and working out, learning to better his body, but also his craft as an actor. That really stuck with me – He could have chilled between movies, but rather, he chose to do better. We can all learn from that. We can always do better. And we never know where the next flash of brilliance is going to come from. My friend Stefan used to be fat, then he decided to lose weight. Now, he’s a male model, and is constantly learning and improving, whether through working out, or writing a book. Yes, it’s a lot harder than hanging out on the couch and watching “Glee,” but the returns can be massive. Truly, truly massive.
What else? How else do you know you’re ready for a change, and how do you make that change once you realize you are ready? Leave me a note in the comments.
PS: I haven’t yet found what my next thing is (other than an Excedrin for my headache that I got from impaling the sand on that wave,) so if you have any suggestions, email me. I’d love to hear them.
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I’m in the midst of a rebirth, and am being repeatedly flung into the sand by the giant waves of it. It wasn’t one of my choosing (probably because I wouldn’t have chosen it, but I needed it). The sudden ending (after the slow ending) of a 7 year relationship. But, now I have a date tonight with someone new. And the movement towards one financial solution that has been hounding me for over a year has now suddenly shifted direction to a different solution and I actually slept through the whole night last night. For me the biggest part about change is the willingness to be uncomfortable with it. To stop distracting myself and just feel things. That’s when change becomes the only thing there is. (Pema Chodren’s book, When Things Fall Apart, is very helpful to me.) I read recently about how when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, it doesn’t just grow wings and long legs. The caterpillar totally dissolves and the butterfly then grows out of that. So right now I feel like a slurry of caterpillar guts, but I’m willing to feel like a slurry of guts if it means that a change is coming. |
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I simply want to say thanks for this post. Reading this with my first glass of water was a great start to my day. Unfortunately, I can’t enumerate all the rebirths I need to experience — I’m quite the newborn to life after college. Nonetheless, these are great insights that will prepare me for when the young professional excitement steam settles. Thanks again. I’ll watch for the red flags. And good luck with life after taking your head out of the sand. Hopefully the rebirth is less painful than your literal experience. |
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Amen brother. Every word applies to me right now, and I honour you for bringing it out in the open. It’s only too easy to know you need a rebirth, and just keep thinking about it without releasing it to keep yourself accountable. Look forward to chapter two of this one. |
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Inspirational writing, and exceptional timing! We had a long-night-brainstorm as we’re making tough decisions for Barkeater Chocolates that’ll change the game but with risk – so we’re thinking of playing hooky today to clear our heads. Dr. Shankman’s order! |
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I’ve been volunteering at the Etowah Valley Humane Society washing dog bowls, dog towels and playing with the shelter animals, both cats and dogs. I’ve been more fulfilled in two days that two years at my “real” job. Time to make a change, but really unclear on how to do it (financially) for my family since I’m the insurance “whore.” |
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Peter! This is why I’m such a fan of you. :) You tend to write things right around the time I need to hear them. I’ve spent the past 2 years working very part-time on two businesses I started after the folks at my job had the their first round of layoffs. Fortunately my position with them has been preserved each subsequent round…however…I’m happy to say that I gave my notice this past Monday afternoon and will officially be a full-fledged solo entrepreneur starting July 1! You continue to be an inspiration, Peter! :) You’ll find your next direction…just follow your intuition! I’m enjoying this journey and am happy you give us insight to yours. :) Warm wishes from TN! |
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So you want to be a shirt wearer for 2012 huh? Creative way of asking, you’re HIRED! Hah, all joking aside, I’m actually surprised this post took this long. Very much looking forward to the next chapter of Peter Shankman and hoping I can help be apart of it or support it in some way. No doubt in my mind, you’re next idea will be even bigger than HARO. Either that or just move to Thailand and live with the elephant (both are acceptable). |
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I JUST went through this at the end of 2010. For me, the gnawing feeling turned into action when I realized that the co. I worked for had a passion that was not in line with my passion, and was I ok with doing something that did not line up with my passion for the rest of my life? Short answer…hell no, & off I went to start a biz with my partner, Drew! I think once you know you’re ready to make the change, you’ve got to assemble a small team around you who can support your new adventure with whatever they’re good at – we knew that we’d be wasting time if we tried to handle the accounting/marketing on our own, so it was worth the $ spent to let another person handle for us whatever THEY were best at, so we could spend all our time doing what WE are best at. It sucks spending $ right when you start something new, but if it makes me more $ b/c I’m focused entirely on my project, it was $ well spent! |
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If you’re really looking for a change you can come sell insurance for me in Upstate NY…! Seriously though, Thank you for this post. This is a Day changer… My day started out one way but the ideas I have floating around in my head now will take my day another way. Sincerely, Ryan H. |
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Great post. I wasn’t aware (sorry) you sold HARO, but I can see how this could leave you — the legendarily hyper-active — feeling a little (or a lot) lost and loose-endish. I just finished promoting my second book and it’s now “what next?” time, which is always scary and vague. It takes guts (and some money in the bank) to sit still long enough to see what else might really interest and engage you. You’re right; treadmills are so tempting and easy. I, too, love elephants and Thailand. Have a great trip and keep us posted! |
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As a crafter I feel I need to share my relaxation experience with you; knitting needles don’t go through fabric (that would be sewing) – they go through yarn and you tend to hear the “click” of needles instead of a “swish”. It’s NOT relaxing – it can be stressful, very stressful. You aren’t missing anything! |
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It’s exciting and scary like standing on the edge of a cliff with no idea what’s happening next. I love that feeling. And hate it too. But what I think I love most about this post is how you make it so clear that even someone like Peter Shankman, who has done so much, realizes he, too, is not immune to the pitfalls of possible stagnation. Cannot wait to see what your next step will be! |
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I have the notebook that you speak of, the front cover reads “Big Ideas and Random Thoughts”, just dug it out from the abyss at the side of my desk. You inspire me! |
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I’m in the middle of a rebirth. After living and having a great career in upstate NY for the past 17 years I was laid off two years ago and while on hiatus my oldest son moved to Chicago and my youngest son joined the USAF. Without much to keep me in NY I moved to Northern VA. I now have a great job and I’m enjoying the area. One thing I do not love is my commute so I listen to a lot of books and podcasts to make the time more productive. I’m currently listening to Rob Lowe’s book. I am amazed at the way he made things happen by his thoughts and actions from the time we was a child. It really shows that mindset and attitude is a large determining factor of a person’s success. |
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constant rebirth is important- so you don’t, at 85 say “I should have not spent the last 70 years doing…” Kudos to you, Peter. and I’m sure your next zany idea will be something very very different then HARO… but something that will take something as we know it and flip it on its head. Free sponsored skydives? Some new brand of chewing gum that never gets used up? an inhaler antacid? free airline travel for doctors, one per flight, sponsored? surprise us, Peter. I know you will. :) |
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constant rebirth is important- so you don’t, at 85 say “I should have not spent the last 70 years doing…” Kudos to you, Peter. and I’m sure your next zany idea will be something very very different then HARO… but something that will take something as we know it and flip it on its head. Free sponsored skydives? Some new brand of chewing gum that never gets used up? an inhaler antacid? free airline travel for doctors, one per flight, sponsored? surprise us, Peter. I know you will! :) (didn’t show up the first time i hit submit…. hope this is not a double post!) |
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Peter – great post. And this comes at a critical time for someone I love dearly. So, I will pass it along. My only addition to this is – have fun! When we grow up with bills to pay and mouths to feed, we forget to have fun. I asked someone who was struggling the other day – when was the last time you had fun? And they couldn’t remember. How can we tap into our creativity if we never feed it? Again, great post. Thanks! |
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Great post and reminder from someone I see has having it “together”. Your authentic self is what makes your blogs so compelling, brilliant and poignant. The re-birthing process is a normal part of the human condition. We aren’t done until we are done. If your not always stretching new muscle, developing new skill sets, remaining curious your not living! Thanks Peter for being real. |
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Good post Peter and thank you for sharing. Relevant. Very relevant. Thanks also to @ChrisBrogan for retweeting. |
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Peter, try teaching middle school. You seem to be aching to share your experiences and wisdom with folks. Kids need to learn from an entrepreneur, an adventurer and a thoughtful, fun-loving human being. Besides, you won’t get annoyed at the exceedingly low pay and criticism that plagues most teachers because you already made good money and have proven you can “do” and choose to teach out of a sense of calling. That will shake things up and make you feel more a part of something than any amount of comm campaigns that generate revenue. |
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Remember, “… rebirth itself is merely the dawning on your mind of what is already in it.” – A Course in Miracles |
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Great post! I’m in the process of that rebirth too. I recently resigned from a job that was sucking the life from me. I was coasting and I just didn’t care anymore. I knew it was time to go. For me that was a HUGE moment. I tend to stick with things to the bitter end. But, I’ve always wanted to see if I could make it on my own and this seemed like the perfect time. I’ve gotten one client so far, am working on some other creative endeavors, and improving myself. I’m feeling SO much better about life. |
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Thank you for your honesty! I think I’ve been afraid to say that the thing I’ve invested so much time in for the past three years is the thing I need to move on from. I’ve been feeling the tremors of change coming for several months now and in the mean time have started two other projects while still holding on to the one for fear that it would look like just another ‘thing’ I started and didn’t stick with. But I know FOR SURE that each of these experiences is a part of the big picture. SO….I’m ready to take the LEAP!! THANKS again!! |
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Thanks for sharing your journey and inspiring ours. I’m preparing to enter my third rebirth and it’s scary and exciting as hell. Knowing it’s time is half the battle. When the thought of the direction I want to take makes my heart pound in my ears, I know I’m on the right track. BTW, I’ve just finished Rob Lowe’s autobiography and loved it. Great to see his transformation from coming of age to coming into his own and the work that went into getting there. |
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The lyrics of “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)” contain the famous Lennon quote “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”Life always seems more correct and focused when you have little ones to care about. |
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Thank you for sharing your insight. You are truly appreciated! I think most of us always get to this point where we need a rebirth. We think what can we do different? What can we do better? What do we need to change? What more can we do for ourselves and others? I think this is the only way we can continue to progress. |
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I have no idea what your next thing is (good luck figuring it out though!) but I can help on the failed knitting analogy. … It’s not about a sound, it’s tactile. It’s about the needle tips tapping together and the glide as you pull a knot along the smooth needle shaft. It’s about rhythm. Very meditative. As if you care. Regardless, good post. |
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I just quit my job after realizing I was irreconcilably unhappy with my career. My world got rocked this winter when I lost my 56-year-old mother to cancer. The experience of caring for her as she passed away shook me to my core and while on a recent sojourn to Costa Rica I made the decision to move on. While I’m a little nervous about what the future holds career-wise, I have never been so content — which to me just affirms I’m doing the right thing. Life is too short and too precious to spend any time not living it purposefully and not feeling fulfilled and I’m so grateful for that lesson. Many thanks to you for sharing your experience, Peter, and best wishes in your future endeavors! LLH |
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Friend just sent me this post. I just decided to sell everything I own here in LA and move to Thailand on July 2. When you learn how to let things come and go into your life without attachment, you realize life is always a blank canvas and today can be your greatest masterpiece. Do want makes you happy now, not what you think will make you happy later. Great post. -MCT |
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I’m so impressed with you, Peter! I stumbled upon shankman.com because I read your article on businessinsider.com (Why I will Never, Ever Hire A “Social Media Expert) and enjoyed your writing style and insight. Now, this post is simply amazing. I’m right where you are — I know it’s time for a rebirth. My trip was to United Arab Emirates (UAE) just a couple months ago. One week of new adventures and perspective. It was an awesome experience. What all I am changing, I don’t know. I’m exploring options by trying new things and discussing my experiences with friends/family. It’s unsettling at times (got lost in a forest the other day while trying out a short cut), but in some cases my attempts are rewarding and helps guide me – my UAE trip inspired me to learn some Arabic, so took a course and made some progress! And then… TBD. |
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There is an excellent book to support all rebirths: Transitions: Making Sense Of Life’s Changes by Bridges. What I mainly learned was how out of synch we can be with assorted beginnings and endings in our life. Sometimes something is over and we don’t know it, sometimes we know it but don’t know what’s next and sometimes it really, really hurts when someone ends something before you’re ready for it. This book got me through all of those and the attendant confusion and bewilderment, coming out the other side to a kind of fractured contentment. Once you know the anatomy of chain you can navigated each transitional phase with some grace and a lot less sweat. |
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Great reading, almost all applies to me too.. I’m in the beginning of something potentially really big – starting my PR software company. Each step I’m taking is very hard but I have a clear vision of what I want to achieve and it keeps me motivated. We all have to find something which has a meaning to us. |
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Peter, Perfect post to a not so perfect day. Thanks. I’ve been where you are at a few times in the past 4 years. After two heart attacks, two heart surgeries and a few other ailments I have had rebirths over what I need and want to do. Each time it was a series of notebooks and pocket books as I walked and thought or rode and thought in some cases. Many. Miles and thoughts covered during those times. I would love to be selfish and ask for help from you in helping you find something new but as I said thats selfish. What I think from following you now for sometime is that what you want or need is going to come to you when you least expect it from the person or thing you least expect it from. No doubt it will be a success for you and whoever or whatever you work with. Good luck and I am always around to talk rebirth after close calls with death. |
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Hi Peter – I started following you on Twitter when I saw you were in the Asheville, NC area and wondered… Who is this guy? I have read several of your blogs, but todays was the one that hit home. Is It Time for Rebirth?- Yes. You asked, “How else do you know you’re ready for change, and how do you make that change…” I will say I love the type of work I do, lots of quick issues to resolve in a short period of time, but lately it has started bothering me how much my job is repetition. Repetitive so much that cut and paste have become my best friend. Always multitasking to stay ahead and working on two to three projects at the same time – praying I don’t mix them up. I started noticing how those I work for (doctors) give less and less vital information I need to preform my tasks efficiently. (I must take responsibility here as I give 100% plus to the job I do because I look at it as good customer service to our clients.) For five years I have honed my skills and knowledge of tests, specialists, and criteria often advising the provider when clarification is needed on an order. They trust the knowledge I have learned and will often agree with the information I have provided. So in that respect, I feel I have enabled them to provide less information as they know I will get the job done and search them out for answers. Now it feels like I am being taken forgranted. I am acknowledging that I cannot do it all, but I will continue to do the best I can with what I have. I need to put me first and save my sanity. I realized that my PTO time is the main reason I am still at this job. Now, I am realizing I can gain that back in time under a new employer. Another reason I know it is time for rebirth- No real raises in four years. Four years ago everyone took a three percent cut in pay to keep our jobs with no guarentee we would get it back. And indeed in that four year period we finally received one percent back last year, but the workload has doubled. Then I realized how far behind we are to where we should be in pay if we would have had our yearly raises. So this week I have explored options I would like to pursue whether changing employers, pursueing my love for photography and writing, and finding more time for exercise and a healthier lifestyle. Your blog has put a spark of hope to that smoltering flame for the desire to find something I may enjoy even better than what I do today, for that I thank you. As a morning person I love waking up to your morning tweets and “wheels up” adventures (great pictures). You know I think I am ready for change, a rebirth. Best, Pam |
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WOW, I’m so glad I subscribed to this blog. I loved HARO for a long time but it was for the ads. Now the ads are repetitive and anyone who doesn’t know who Vocus is by now, just isn’t going to get it. But I really enjoy your writing and follow it more than all others, combined. I don’t know what the next big thing is but it will be fun to follow. Marry the girl. Then you’ll need the money. |
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Peter – I read all the other posts and I think Denise said it best. You’ll know what the next step is when the new thought, the new vision, the new feeling is both exciting but scary at the same time. I suspected you had reached a juncture when you decided to sell HARO, so I’m not that surprised. And then you decided to seriously commit to a weight loss program, and I knew your rebirth had begun. As you said, they are small steps on the way to the definitive step(s) that finds you in a new place. Whatever that new place looks like for you, know that the honesty, transparency, courage and humility with which you share your life experiences (as you did in this post) will always pay off in the end. Both for you and for those around you. Enjoy the moments and thanks for being you. |
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Peter: Sometimes you serve as the crystal ball, reflecting that which we’d love to achieve in the future. In this case, you have served as a real-time mirror for our thoughts, desires and frustrations as we look toward the next step and, in many cases, launch the bigger quest of identifying a greater purpose in our lives. Thanks for everything and for being you, Peter. Possible next steps for you: I’d love to see your business savvy shared with the non-profit world. Maybe via an extensive social media / marketing / PR training program? It wouldn’t have to be in person, of course. Something along the lines of a series of webinars/recordings/downloadable classes. And MBA students anywhere would kill to take those sorts of “classes” as well. Unless things have changed greatly in the past 10 years, very few marketing classes deliver practical training. Also, the essence of Kickstarter is totally up your alley. Maybe use that peer-to-peer model to help drive investments into new businesses. Granted, Kiva does this with loans internationally and now to a limited degree nationally — but what if it was more like gaining a piece of the business pie? A micro/mini angel investor? I’m sure someone out there is already attempting this, but you would make the new and improved funding model (and all those new small businesses) a success! |
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The wave that doesn’t quite roll. The turbo that won’t quite “charge”. Happens to me about every 7 years. Too easy would it be to say how you climb out of this or find the trampoline to bounce on to land you in the next exciting and packed sries of high-lif “moments”…. still don’t know what it is. |
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Thanks for the food for thought. I will skip breakfast and chew on all you said. Brilliant insight. It was like you were talking to me. |
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I enjoyed the post very much. It came into my morning just when I needed to ponder these ideas again. I experience a need for rebirth and have acted on it through my life to this point. I feel like each change is another stepping stone on my journey. Each step building toward the next one. How do I know it’s time to assess? I get restless, the work I’m doing starts to annoy me and I find less joy in the process. I have a nauseous pit in my stomach when working and exactly as you have put it, I look for ways to avoid the work. What is bothering me this time is; what will people think? Mostly, my siblings, who can stay with their work, in their same houses, in their same cities with their same employers for decades. Why am I so different from that? Why can’t I just be happy where I am, doing what I am doing for the long term? I am approaching 50, shouldn’t I know what I want by now? There will be eye rolls and comments. Although it shouldn’t matter to me, I do question what is wrong with me? I must just be wired differently, I need to be ok with that. So, I will start to stalk my next grand adventure, the next place I want to shake things up and make an impact. The answer is brewing. Next stepping stone is on the horizon… |
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I’ve been there too Peter. You aren’t alone – everyone goes through this in their lives. The thing is, most people just suck up those negative feelings, don’t do anything about them, and spend their lives doing the same thing over and over again, piling regrets in the corner of their closet. From what I know about you and your history, you have an ability to see projects through and to succeed. Maybe you should sit down and make a list of absolutely outrageous ideas – ideas that are impossible – pick the hardest one, and then do it. Or, maybe it’s time to go back to all the places you’ve been in the world on your whirlwind tours and just enjoy them. Whatever you decide, keep us updated! Good luck. |
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Rebirth or relighting the Fire in the Belly. Everything seems to be going smoothly and then whoof, the fire goes out. It is a surprise. A halting surprise. Love the piece and as outlined, there is no magic bullet. Some will be guided by monkeys. Others require something as potent as a 2 x 4 across the head to make them aware of the void. Our personal nature seems to dictate where we will find the kindling to burn again. Big doses of faith and an open mind. |
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One thing is for sure dude…you are an awesome talent! Whatever you do…know that! What I love about what you wrote here is it reads likle a practical guide for getting past the FEAR which is really what stops us all! Thank you for that and good luck with whatever’s next for your brilliant self!!! |
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One way I know I’m ready for a change is when I start to get indicators towards the right path. When… you start meeting people you’ve heard about from many directions. When… you start seeing supporting material for topics in your brain you’ve never spoken. When… one of your fave sources for business advice posts a topic on rebirth and next steps at the very moment you were going to write him about embarking on something new in business and you wanted to follow the WWPSD business model for every new step “just for fun”…yeah, those would all be good indications that you’re ready for the change. As far as the “how”? I’m reading “Quitter” by Jon Acuff and this is an excellent start. I look forward to reading updates on this journey. Thank you & I’ll keep you posted. |
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I can totally relate to this post, Peter. At a time in my life about 15 years ago, I was waking up at night always thinking about what I forgot to do or should do at work. It stunk and created a lot of stress. Thankfully I had a wife who kicked me in the pants and made me go back to school. It was the best thing I ever did and brought me back to the world where I am today…and should have been all along. Suggestion for you: be an angel to the people who might not normally get your support or hear about your talents. Last week a friend of ours nearly lost her home in the Arizona wildfires. The local community firefighters (maybe even volunteers) ended up saving it and others around her. When she spoke to my wife a few days ago she said, “I need to donate something to those guys. They SO deserve it.” Organizations like those – with truly unsung heroes who ask for little or nothing – might provide some new inspiration for you and where you direct some of your attention. The big agencies get all of the limelight but the small ones who live down the street and wave to us each time we pass by could sure use some help too. |
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Peter – all of it is too true. But the notebook and the plan can be as much barriers as they are enablers. As uncomfortable as it may be, you may simply need to start moving in a direction (I’m on one of those journeys right now). Doesn’t mean you have to leave everything behind, but it probably means that you need to roll back the commitment to the things that keep you running in place and devote that time to the new direction. When I say devote, I mean in a disciplined way. In a way you can recognize. In a way you can see that you aren’t in the same spot as before. You’ll know when it makes sense to cut the cord to the old and fully devote yourself to your new direction. And you may find that this new direction is the wrong one and start on a different direction. But until you start on a new path, the running in place will become more and more tiring. It’s a bit of a struggle for me, but a good struggle. I sense you will have an easier time of it – good luck! |
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Wow. I needed that. And I can think of at least two others who need it too. Best of luck with what’s next. |
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What an inspiring piece! I know I’m a few days late on commenting, but your blog is always insightful and entertaining. It’s refreshing to know that even with all your success, you still want to change course and do even more with your life. Reading your blog always ignites the fire in my belly to be all that I can be. My husband and I often talk about similar topics to stay inspired so we don’t become complacent. Thank you for writing this! |
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Hey Peter… glad to hear along with all this amazing thought provoking post you are getting an adrenaline rush as well. I think about this often, during the day, right before bed, and always when I awake in the morning. Where am I going, what am I doing, and can I do it better, different, with more meaning. Thanks for the reminder… it is so much easier for us to tell others and not actualize ourselves. Draw your own map. Throw out the recipe book, the paint-by-numbers kit, and anything anyone ever told you about who or what you should be—and chart your own course. It’s not easy—and it’s not comfortable. We are trained from birth to make safe, reliable choices. In school we are encouraged to conform and not to color outside the lines; in business we are comforted by “blueprints” and case studies; the media shows us how we should dress, where to vacation, and who we should emulate. It’s the uncharted experiences, not the guided tours, which truly help us “create” ourselves. When we listen to the inner nudge to do something different and go in a way that intuition leads us—follow our dreams and desires rather than in someone else’s footsteps—those are the moments that define who we are and give us insight into how we can participate in the world around us. We shouldn’t lose sight of that. As George Bernard Shaw wrote so wisely… “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” Enjoy the rest of our vacation and all the very best with what you decide is next, even if it is simply staying a bit longer than planned in Thailand :-) |
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Thanks so much for your words, they couldn’t have come at a better time. I am in the process of a transformation and it has been tough…I have often found myself trying to talk myself out of it with the thoughts of failure or what others will think. Thankfully I have gotten past all that and am continuing with my transformation one step at a time! My daughters 14 & 10 are excited for our big move to Costa Rica just them and I! Thank you for reminding me that I am not the only one out there brave enough to under go this transformation! |
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